Jets Suck -- 2016 Edition (Official): Futility Confirmed

[captain stone]

Too bad.

 

[Tunescribe]

Someone asked me a question the other day I could not answer: what came first -- the Jets, or Jets fans? The issue seems to be that a black hole of pathological codependency (Jets fans) had to exist for the pitiable franchise to manifest. Something like a festering wound coalescing into a scab. In this case, the scab never fully heals: a new season rolls around, the scab is picked at, gets inflamed and then festers again, scabs over during the off-season, etc. year after year. Almost 50 years -- a half-century -- of gangrenous festering woundedness in the swampland.

 

[Wordsmyth]

Heh ...

Link: Darrelle Revis, Brandon Marshall Engage In Fistfight At Jets Training Camp

No broken jaws or hands, apparently.

The not-so-human GENOme project?

 

[Mike the Brit]

Someone asked me a question the other day I could not answer: what came first -- the Jets, or Jets fans? The issue seems to be that a black hole of pathological codependency (Jets fans) had to exist for the pitiable franchise to manifest. Something like a festering wound coalescing into a scab. In this case, the scab never fully heals: a new season rolls around, the scab is picked at, gets inflamed and then festers again, scabs over during the off-season, etc. year after year. Almost 50 years -- a half-century -- of gangrenous festering woundedness in the swampland.

You're right. There has to be an environment.

I suppose that most societies have peripheral elements who resist all attempts to turn them into useful and productive citizens, who spend their time stealing hubcaps, ingesting cough syrup and having sex with inanimate objects.

But it's only the Jets that leads them to coalesce and crystallize into a single seething corpus of self-destructive futility. What invisible hand makes the team and their fans harmonize with one another so perfectly?

It is a mystery that is too deep for me.

 

[Clonamery]

You're right. There has to be an environment.

I suppose that most societies have peripheral elements who resist all attempts to turn them into useful and productive citizens, who spend their time stealing hubcaps, ingesting cough syrup and having sex with inanimate objects.

But it's only the Jets that leads them to coalesce and crystallize into a single seething corpus of self-destructive futility. What invisible hand makes the team and their fans harmonize with one another so perfectly?

It is a mystery that is too deep for me.

My goodness.

I have to believe Jets fans came first because then you could say that the Jets franchise was created in order to satisfy and direct some of the Jets fans' behavior that would otherwise seep into the rest of society. It is the answer to the question that haunts mid-level politicians when faced with roving bands of Gravesend miscreants, "Who's on First?"

We do know that the Jets fans have evolved like the human who had no tail centuries ago and now does. It's one of my favorite Ken Burns' documentaries, 'What Survives a Nuclear Fallout?' My favorite scene is the one where Burns is interviewing a Jets fan at the end of another failed season and he asks the fan what will he do now. The fan, apoplectic, just keeps screaming (the red visible beneath the puke green face paint) "Ax me nudder kweshun! Ax me nudder kweshun!" Until fatigued, he falls back into his Meadowland seat and smashes his $12 watery beer. What a life.

 

[Tunescribe]

My goodness.

I have to believe Jets fans came first because then you could say that the Jets franchise was created in order to satisfy and direct some of the Jets fans' behavior that would otherwise seep into the rest of society. It is the answer to the question that haunts mid-level politicians when faced with roving bands of Gravesend miscreants, "Who's on First?"

We do know that the Jets fans have evolved like the human who had no tail centuries ago and now does. It's one of my favorite Ken Burns' documentaries, 'What Survives a Nuclear Fallout?' My favorite scene is the one where Burns is interviewing a Jets fan at the end of another failed season and he asks the fan what will he do now. The fan, apoplectic, just keeps screaming (the red visible beneath the puke green face paint) "Ax me nudder kweshun! Ax me nudder kweshun!" Until fatigued, he falls back into his Meadowland seat and smashes his $12 watery beer. What a life.

I think you're on to something. In other words, the franchise functions sort of like a homeless shelter or methadone clinic.

 

[Kontradiction]

I think you're on to something. In other words, the franchise functions sort of like a homeless shelter or methadone clinic.

Homeless shelter is more likely. The methadone clinic is over in Indianapolis, Indiana.

 

[Joker]

I thought everybody knew...."in the beginning was the suck, and the suck was with the Jets ...and the suck was the Jets..."...yup, straight from the Saint Joker bible. Think of it as a primordial green slime within a cloud of methane gas....gurgling...festering...waiting to explode like a clogged sewer pipe packed with fecal matter.

jeez....I gotta go puke now...

 

[AtomicDawg]

The residuals of CTE at work....

 

[Mike the Brit]

With quotes like that, I find it hard to believe that Bowles tore out his hair BEFORE getting to the Jets:

 

[The Gr8est]

Someone asked me a question the other day I could not answer: what came first -- the Jets, or Jets fans? The issue seems to be that a black hole of pathological codependency (Jets fans) had to exist for the pitiable franchise to manifest. Something like a festering wound coalescing into a scab. In this case, the scab never fully heals: a new season rolls around, the scab is picked at, gets inflamed and then festers again, scabs over during the off-season, etc. year after year. Almost 50 years -- a half-century -- of gangrenous festering woundedness in the swampland.

They suck, therefore we are?

 

[Silver Blue&Red]

The residuals of CTE at work....

Yup, If Fitz plays just as well, If GoToHell suspends TB for 4 games, if hell freezes over.....

 

[Tunescribe]

Former Jets hero (broke Gee-No!'s jaw) suffers serious injury with Bills. Dude can't catch a break.

Link: Ryan: Enemkpali suffered “major” knee injury

 

[PatsBoy12]

Former Jets hero (broke Gee-No!'s jaw) suffers serious injury with Bills. Dude can't catch a break.

Link: Ryan: Enemkpali suffered “major” knee injury

Geno disagrees... lmao

 

[AtomicDawg]

Former Jets hero (broke Gee-No!'s jaw) suffers serious injury with Bills. Dude can't catch a break.

Link: Ryan: Enemkpali suffered “major” knee injury

Did he punch his trainer in the face?

 

[Wordsmyth]

Former Jets hero (broke Gee-No!'s jaw) suffers serious injury with Bills. Dude can't catch a break.

Link: Ryan: Enemkpali suffered “major” knee injury

Football karma: it's what's for dinner. The other other other other white meat.

 

[AtomicDawg]

BB was right about this guy. His percentage is like a weatherman. No offense to weathermen reading this.

 

[Bombdog]

There must be something in the water in Jetsland. Mevis just said that the Jets have a good shot at the Superbowl this year. Is he being traded back to the Pats

 

[Rusty Coupe]

There must be something in the water in Jetsland. Mevis just said that the Jets have a good shot at the Superbowl this year. Is he being traded back to the Pats

He's just "pissed off" that Rex and the Bills won July, and Revis is merely declaring that the Jets won August. The Jets are the undefeated pre season winners since 1969, it says so in his contract.

 

[Tunescribe]