Pats sign QB Kafka, DE Benard to future contracts

RI Patriots fan said:

Some comments from the Cleveland Browns board about Marcus Benard:


"Good for Benard. He could be a pretty good pickup for the Pats.
You play to win the game."

"Good for him. Always liked Benard, he just blew his Browns opportunity like Winslow did. It happens."

"Hopefully still explosive, as a situational 3-4 OLB. 'No Motorcycles' clause in the contract?"

"I had big hopes for him coming back and giving us 6-10 sacks on passing downs. hopefully it works out for him there"


Scout.com: Caplan - Patriots signed LB/DE Marcus Benard

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Kinda funny. From 2000-2009, this team avoided signing DE/OLB types like the plague.

Now if anyone shows a glimpse of pass-rushing ability they are gobbled up and horded like cans of corn by one of those "Doomsday" folks.

Deus Irae said:

The question must be asked:

With Kafka coming on board, does this mean that the offense will be undergoing a metamorphosis?

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Yep...That's been bugging me also

Deus Irae said:

The question must be asked:

With Kafka coming on board, does this mean that the offense will be undergoing a metamorphosis?

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I don't get it.

Frezo said:

I don't get it.

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Google is your friend

PatsWickedPissah said:

Google is your friend

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And here I was thinking I might log in to a Like or two for my Kafka Existentialism Hamlet soliloquy To Benard or Not Benard pun...

but noo...

Danger Zone said:

And here I was thinking I might log in to a Like or two for my Kafka Existentialism Hamlet soliloquy To Benard or Not Benard pun...

but noo...

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You incorrectly assumed education and intelligence on my part at least

BlueThunder said:

Yep...That's been bugging me also

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No truth to the rumor that they decided bringing in TS Elliot would be a Waste of time.

PatsWickedPissah said:

You incorrectly assumed education and intelligence on my part at least

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I was actually just making fun of how obscure the pun I made was and ruing that fact that even Google couldn't make it funny

Danger Zone said:

And here I was thinking I might log in to a Like or two for my Kafka Existentialism Hamlet soliloquy To Benard or Not Benard pun...

but noo...

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If you have to explain it. . . .

This information may be a false alarm. My morning newspaper "Maine
Sunday Telegram" lists Kafka signing with the Eagles and Bernard with
the Browns in the transaction column.

Jimke said:

This information may be a false alarm. My morning newspaper "Maine
Sunday Telegram" lists Kafka signing with the Eagles and Bernard with
the Browns in the transaction column.

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Nothing reported on the Patriots site under transactions either. Gotta be bogus info by ESPN.

League offices close over weekends and Pats seldom announce signings until the ink is dry.

https://twitter.com/mikekafka3

Well, I hope that Kafka's trial goes well.

gomezcat said:

Well, I hope that Kafka's trial goes well.

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We're all so ecstatic about this possible signing that we're climbing the walls.

Deus Irae said:

We're all so ecstatic about this possible signing that we're climbing the walls.

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How dare anyone imply he's anything but another Zac Robinson!!111!!!

gomezcat said:

Well, I hope that Kafka's trial goes well.

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Someone must have traduced K...

I have been rooting for this guy from the first time I saw his jersey. Think of the possibilities if he's ever called into Goodell's League offices...

Danger Zone said:

And here I was thinking I might log in to a Like or two for my Kafka Existentialism Hamlet soliloquy To Benard or Not Benard pun...

but noo...

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Okay, a couple of things... at least for my computer, whoever did the dead-on parody doesn't have a "like" option, but consider it liked.

DZ, the Hamlet metamorphosis was a bridge too far... oops, now I did it. Point is, although the signing is a thinking man's signing, that particular dive was too deep, and became a head-scratcher. It's compounded by the inexact Hamlet parody... you would want "To Benard or not to Benard..." It's a case where a couple of innocuous letters would have made all the difference; however, the deep dive is far too much to begin with; I don't know Kafka all that well, but I don't think (you guys let me know if I'm flubbing this,) that Kafka showed a Hamlet-esque fascination with suicide. So his (proto?)-existentialist work doesn't so much fit into the Hamlet mold, as into another category ever-mindful of the absurdity of being and the effacement of meaning by (in particular) the state... what links the two is the word "existentialism," but I don't see Hamlet's self-absorbed diva behavior in the stifled world of K (of Josef).

But as I said, I don't know Kafka that well, and what I do "know" is half remembered from decades ago... feel free to correct me if he had a lot of suicidal ponderings in his writing. Thing is, the link was just too tenuous...

Anyway, it still absolutely rocks to have a Kafka onbord. Second best name in the NFL, after Richie Incognito (Stalin Colinet and Lincoln Kennedy both being retired.)

PatsFanInVa said:

you would want "To Benard or not to Benard..." It's a case where a couple of innocuous letters would have made all the difference;

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You are absolutely dead on (hehe) with your observation.

Funny how I was saying it exactly this way in my head and couldn't see that I was dropping that second "to".

To Benard or not to Benard... there!

Gregor Samsa of Kafka's Metamorphosis (who shared many similarities with Kafka himself) parallels Hamlet's own story in many ways or in the least both share many elements. Both are semi-obsessive with the difficulties of living, of acceptance, of suicide and with the dysfunctional relationship with an over-bearing father to say nothing (though I'm about to) of their shared Oedipus relationships. Kafka and Gregor/Metamorphosis are very Hamlet-esque in my opinion.

But while I think Hamlet's To be or not to be is perhaps Existentialism's most quoted line -to the point of being a cliche, I made the pun mostly because it fit the name of the other guy we picked up.

I think I might have been overthinking it... or underthinking it as the case may be Still, nice to see we have a fanbase that can actually read.

Something tells me that this conversation would never happen on a Broncos board, although they may still have a good time with the name "Butkus."