Jets Suck -- 2015 Edition (Official): Countdown to Oblivion

2020 Patriots Season:
Upcoming Opponent:
Next Up: vs Raiders
Pick Results: LAS: 3.4% at NE: 96.6%
Sep 27th

Current Patriots Twitter Feed:
Not open for further replies.

Tunescribe Supporter Supporter
2019 Weekly Picks Winner
Welcome one and all to another year of Jets suckage, as the countdown continues toward a full half-century since their last championship season 1968-'69.

The hallowed tradition of this thread might be seen by many as mere diversion, an ephemeral source of transitory amusement. Yet, the veterans here realize its role as a vital public service -- informing and enlightening those otherwise oblivious to that morbid franchise's scurrilous, soulless transgressions against the Patriots, mankind at large, and all that is true and good. Our pledge is to keep the beacon of righteousness forever trained laser-like on East Rutherford's green slimy scourge.

We MUST remain vigilant, as the New Jersey Green Beans continue their scheming ways and underhanded shenanigans perpetrated by unprincipled owner/certified greedy dope Woody Johnson.

woody johnson dopey.jpg

For the uninitiated, here is a partial historical recap of the Green Beans’ violations and gaffes, in no particular order:

* Jets tamper with Pats coach Bill Parcells during Patriots Super Bowl run.
* Jets sign Pats running back Curtis Martin to bogus "poison pill" contract.
* Jets coach Herm Edwards sets NFL record for game clock mismanagement.
* Jets fans assault women in multiple “Gate 4” incidents.
* Pats assistant Eric Mangini steals Bill Belichick's laptop computer upon hiring as Jets coach.
* Jets coach Eric Mangini tampers with Patriots WR Deion Branch.
* Mangini and Jets front office initiate “Cameragate” against the Patriots.
* Jets coach Rex Ryan fined $50k for flipping off Dolphins fans in public.
* Immaturity and disorganization of team documented on HBO "Hard Knocks" series.
* Reporter Ines Sainz claims she was sexually harassed in Jets locker room.
* Jets players forced to take social awareness classes after Sainz incident.
* Trip-Gate: assistant coach Sal Alosi fined $25k and suspended for season.
* Rex Ryan's foot fetish videos starring wife make mainstream news.
* Ryan farms out his wife to strangers on Internet kink site.
* Ryan embarrasses self weeping publicly; makes horrid cameo in Adam Sandler film.
* Quarterback Mark Sanchez buttfumbles his way to infamy.
* Sanchez dates/beds high school girl; is photographed dancing nude with clothed women.
* Jets mascot Fireman Ed quits citing abuse from fellow fans, refuses team's request to return.
* Accused murderer/male Jets fan sucker punches small blonde female Pats fan in Jersey.
* Quarterback Brett Favre texts genitals photo to fellow Jets employee Jen Sterger.
* Penis selfie photo sexted by quarterback Geno Smith published on multiple web sites.
* Tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. arrested for drug possession, seen masturbating in his car.
* Jets sign convicted felon/dog killer Ron Mexico, a/k/a Michael Vick.
* Jets legend Joe Namath lauds Pats quarterback Tom Brady as the greatest ever.
* A drunken Namath shames the Jets trying to kiss reporter Suzy Kolber on national TV.
* CB Antonio Cromartie requests salary advance to pay child support; can't recall kids' names.
* Owner Woody Johnson openly tampers with ex-Jet/Patriot cornerback Darrelle Revis.
* CB Darrelle Revis returns for huge $$$ after tricking Jets into bidding against themselves.
* Media weasel/Jets hack Manish Mehta calls Patriots "petty" over Revis tampering allegation.
* Jets file bogus tampering claim over Pats owner Bob Kraft's comments regarding Revis.
* Defensive lineman Sheldon Richardson is suspended four games for his marijuana habit.
* Jets fans commission "cheaters" banner flown over Patriots training camp practice.
* Sheldon Richardson strikes again, charged with resisting arrest after traffic violations.
* Jets team officials don't learn about Richardson's latest arrest 'til two weeks later.
* Jets fans loudly boo quarterback Geno Smith during in-stadium training camp practice.
* Teammate punches Geno Smith breaking his jaw, sidelining him for two months.
* Jets guard Oday Aboushi is suspended one game, found with weed during traffic stop.
* Jets rookie quarterback Bryce Petty angers Jets fans by liking Domino's pizza.
* Jets WR Quincy Enunwa is suspended four games for abusing his girlfriend.
* Paranoid Jets have Gillette locker room swept for electronic bugs.
* Paranoid Jets Security Director Robert Mastroddi interrogates Pats sideline personnel.
* Mastroddi's son outed as publicly wishing injury, death to Tom Brady.
* Jets scum troll (jetfan51) starts threads at to spoil new "Star Wars" film.
* Jets organization trolls Pats/Belichick on Twitter for kicking off in overtime game.
* QB Fitzpatrick ruins Jets' 2015 playoff chances with interceptions vs. Bills.
* Cromartie strikes again, fathering 11th and 12th children with woman No. 8.

More to come … please chime in with your own border-war lowlights.

Remember, folks: "Jets Suck" is not simply about them sucking on the field of play. That almost is peripheral to the true essence of Green Beans suckage, as bad as they can be between those white lines. They suck first and foremost as an organization devoid of scruples, integrity, honesty, proper hygiene or other remotely redeeming qualities.

Finally, we cannot forget Jets fans. Few words do them justice. We'll sum it up thusly:

Jets fan giving finger.jpg
Last edited:

Tunescribe Supporter Supporter
2019 Weekly Picks Winner
I can't bring myself to type the headline from this piece, but, if there's any situation less likely to bring on an access of passion than sitting in your car outside a Target in East Hanover I really can't imagine what it is. Mommas, don't let your kids grow up to be Jets!
Forgot about that one. The Green Beans' sexual perversity is quite legendary, extended through the fan base:

* Wrecks farming out his wife to all takers on an Internet kink site.
* Wrecks and wife foot-fetish videos.
* Favre sexting his privates to Jen what's her name.
* Cromartie having so many kids he forgot their names.
* The Ines Saenz sexual harassment flap.
* Sanchez dating (bedding) high school girls.
* Geno Smith dick selfie going viral.
* The Gate 4 fan harassment of women.

What have I missed? Oh yeah ...

[Removed by Ian - inappropriate photo]


Last edited by a moderator:

Bill Lee

What, me worry? Supporter
This thread can even have its own theme song:

And it's own comedy routine:

And it's own menu:


Homer Little Supporter
Without Wrex, this thread somehow seems less appropriate. With him, they were trash talking assholes. Perhaps with the new coach they will be more professional? So far he has been much better than Wrex at focusing on football. benefit of doubt to him...

Tunescribe Supporter Supporter
2019 Weekly Picks Winner
Without Wrex, this thread somehow seems less appropriate. With him, they were trash talking assholes. Perhaps with the new coach they will be more professional? So far he has been much better than Wrex at focusing on football. benefit of doubt to him...
Perhaps loathing the Jets is not for you. You can hop aboard the Bowles Movement Bandwagon if you wish. Those who follow New Jersey closely know that nothing has changed with the franchise, from its ethically bereft owner down to scumbag fan base.


Hall of Fame Poster
This year the Jets deserve special thanks for sucking really really bad. That number six overall is going to look good in a Patriots uniform.

Hercules Rockefeller

Rotational Player and Threatening Starter's Job
Tune well done but how can we forget the Jest Fan scum who punched a female Patriots fan in the face two years ago and then smiled about it?

The Jests suck

Tunescribe Supporter Supporter
2019 Weekly Picks Winner
I want the Green Beans in Foxboro for our Thursday night home opener. Putting a beatdown on them would be sweet as can be.

Bill Lee

What, me worry? Supporter
Just in case anyone needed more reasons to loathe the soulless green cesspool:
Or laugh at them, since we got him for $12M this year and they're guaranteeing him $16M next year and $17M the year after.
I want the Green Beans in Foxboro for our Thursday night home opener. Putting a beatdown on them would be sweet as can be.
Hope Brady burns Revis for several TDs!
**** the Jests. And Revis.
Revis is now, once again, Green Slime. Bye bye Darrelle, we hardly knew ya!
Not open for further replies.