Some people are blessed with prognosticating ability. Then there are sports columnists, condemned to a life of erroneous forecasting that readers never seem to forget. We're worse than meteorologists.
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NEXT BENGAL TO BE STUN-GUNNED: Chad Johnson. You've heard about the Cincinnati Bengals' new thing, right? They're way too into the stun gun. They celebrated their first playoff appearance since 1990 with an offseason that featured unruly act after unruly act, and now they have more electricity running through them than a power plant. So Johnson must continue the Bengals' love affair with the Taser. Since end-zone touchdown celebrations have been curtailed, Johnson will celebrate his first score, then zap himself for laughs.
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NEXT JUNIOR SEAU "NON-RETIREMENT" NEWS CONFERENCE: Nov. 11. By then, the New England Patriots will be ready to put a stun gun to him and force the end of his career
