A Modest Proposal: Removing the Defense from the field

[Ice_Ice_Brady]

I like it! This should be enacted swiftly in my opinion.

i see what you did there
.

Oh, nice reference and find. I completely missed that.

 

[Urgent]

Uh, referees union not going to love this.
However, the Budweiser folks might love it. The fifteen-minute pause at the endzone screams concession stand. But it's longer than that.

Love the idea.
Playing this out - the only way to win is to have the ball last.
The only way to guarantee you have the ball last is to wait, poised by the endzone, until the end of the half. You'd simply flip fields at the quarter. If you score at the end of the quarter, the other team gets the ball and you lose.
So every game would end regulation in a 7-7 tie.
Then overtime, which would be a single period. The winner would be the team that wins the toss, since they would control the entirety of OT and would score a TD.
So, of course, the outcome of the game would be decided by the OT coin flip.
And this is where the strategy comes in. Gone is the focus on 40 time and leaping ability. You could influence the outcome of the coin flip with the captains, who would be selected for intense visual acuity - like Ted Williams' ability to watch the threads rotate as the pitcher released the ball - and world-class opera singer lung capacity. Five captains would position themselves around the OT coin flip like an NBA tip-off, blowing their enormous hearts out in a highly synchronized manner to impact the coin flip - which would require understanding the flip tendency of the single official, the ability to pick up the rotation of the coin, an understanding of fluid dynamics and lift and drag, and strategy on whether to blow toward the coin or to blow toward the stream of air of your opponent blowing toward the coin. Stat geeks would be replaced by physics geeks; college coaches replaced by retired Olympic curlers; blocking sleds with industrial breathalyzer devices.
Talk about made for millennials. The entire drama of a three-hour game condensed into a two-second coin flip.

 

[Mountain_Commando]

C'mon. No defense at all is ridiculous.

I think it'll be more exciting having 1 single, token, hapless DB out there doing his best Jordan Richards impression.

 

[captain stone]

Bonus points for making Jordan Richards miss the tackle.

Or negative points if Glitch actually tackles you.

 

[Patriot Missile]

Center snapped the ball too hard on the qb’s hands. 15 yard penalty for roughing the passer.

All joking aside, the nfl is so close to killing their product. The term violent game is going to be a laugher 5 years from now. It will still be popular anong the new generation but it’s peak has passed for the older crowd who remembers the past and what made it so great years ago. Btw are NFL films banned or something? Never see them around anymore and wonder if the nfl put a stop to them to protect themselves from lawsuits?

 

[IllegalContact]

Or instead of defenses, we can just have speed bumps installed on the field and line up traffic cones and banana peels at various yard markers.

Random posts popping up from the field like whack a mole.....if the timing is right, one of them could launch a player out of the stadium

This is best thread ever

 

[Ice_Ice_Brady]

Uh, referees union not going to love this.
However, the Budweiser folks might love it. The fifteen-minute pause at the endzone screams concession stand. But it's longer than that.

Love the idea.
Playing this out - the only way to win is to have the ball last.
The only way to guarantee you have the ball last is to wait, poised by the endzone, until the end of the half. You'd simply flip fields at the quarter. If you score at the end of the quarter, the other team gets the ball and you lose.
So every game would end regulation in a 7-7 tie.
Then overtime, which would be a single period. The winner would be the team that wins the toss, since they would control the entirety of OT and would score a TD.
So, of course, the outcome of the game would be decided by the OT coin flip.
And this is where the strategy comes in. Gone is the focus on 40 time and leaping ability. You could influence the outcome of the coin flip with the captains, who would be selected for intense visual acuity - like Ted Williams' ability to watch the threads rotate as the pitcher released the ball - and world-class opera singer lung capacity. Five captains would position themselves around the OT coin flip like an NBA tip-off, blowing their enormous hearts out in a highly synchronized manner to impact the coin flip - which would require understanding the flip tendency of the single official, the ability to pick up the rotation of the coin, an understanding of fluid dynamics and lift and drag, and strategy on whether to blow toward the coin or to blow toward the stream of air of your opponent blowing toward the coin. Stat geeks would be replaced by physics geeks; college coaches replaced by retired Olympic curlers; blocking sleds with industrial breathalyzer devices.
Talk about made for millennials. The entire drama of a three-hour game condensed into a two-second coin flip.

Don’t let the Competition Committee/ Marketing Department (same people merged into one group) see this one. It would be enacted before next week’s games.

 

[Sicilian]

Random posts popping up from the field like whack a mole.....if the timing is right, one of them could launch a player out of the stadium

This is best thread ever

This reminds me of my dad. He always used to insist that hockey would be better if random holes would open in the ice and swallow players throughout the game. I'm still not sure if he was joking or not...

 

[Sicilian]

Talk about made for millennials. The entire drama of a three-hour game condensed into a two-second coin flip.

A three hour contest decided entirely based on the final few seconds? What is this, the NBA?

 

[Lavictoire]

Each team has a QB and five receivers. They each line up on the right half of their respective goal lines, and each receiver takes a turn running a route. Each "round", the receiver can either run a straight line, or make a series of cuts around some cones. The other team is doing this at the same time. The QB can throw the ball once the receiver is at least twenty yards down field. The team who's receiver gets into the opposite end zone first gets 6 points, but they get an additional point for each cone they weave around. So if you think your guy can outrun the other team's guy by a lot, you send him on a longer route for more points.

Each receiver gets one round per quarter. Most points after 4 quarters wins. No injuries, no concussions, no mean DB's playing roughie-rough. Just speedy speedsters using speed to speed the speedy points.

That would be some good Super Bowl half time entertainment.