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OT, to lighten the mood: Specter & others, on why the chicken crossed the road

Discussion in 'PatsFans.com - Patriots Fan Forum' started by Palm Beach Pats Fan, May 23, 2008.

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  1. Palm Beach Pats Fan

    Palm Beach Pats Fan Rookie

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    #93 Jersey

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    ARLEN SPECTER:
    Whatever the reason, it can surely be up to no good. Only an independent investigation will get to the bottom of it.

    TONY DUNGY:
    We understand that shots were indeed fired at the chicken, but Marvin Harrison had nothing to do with the incident. We are praying for the chicken.

    BILL BELICHICK:
    Why does the chicken do anything? That’s all in the past. The chicken is right now focusing on what is important, the next intersection, and it is likely the toughest one he’s had to face yet.

    ROGER GOODELL:
    I have investigated the road crossing fully, including all the videotapes. I found nothing serious going on, so I destroyed the tapes. There was no reason to keep them.

    MATT WALSH:
    I helped that chicken cross the road. He never would have made it without the top secret operation that I executed flawlessly, as ordered by the people in charge.

    JOHN TOMASE:
    My unnamed sources tell me that, despite all evidence to he contrary, the chicken didn’t really cross the road. All of the road-crossing honors that the chicken received are forever tainted.

    ESPN:
    The Patriots are clearly implicated in chicken road-crossing-gate! This is serious! Really!

    TOMMY HEINSOHN:
    I can't believe they are letting the chicken get away with that. They are not going to call a hard foul? They are not going to call a hard foul? Ridiculous!

    BILL WALTON:
    That was undoubtedly the greatest road crossing in the history of this Earth, clearly the stuff of which legends are made, which reminds me of a story that the great Red Auerbach once told Larry Bird and me ...

    BARACK OBAMA:
    The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

    JOHN MCCAIN:
    My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

    HILLARY CLINTON:
    When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road, even at 3 in the morning. But then, this really isn't about me.......

    DR. PHIL:
    The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
    first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes
    after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is
    help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'
    problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

    OPRAH:
    Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
    wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
    from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
    give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
    not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    GEORGE W. BUSH:
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road We just want to
    know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
    either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    COLIN POWEL:
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
    of the chicken crossing the road...

    DICK CHENEY:
    Where's my gun?

    ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
    allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY:
    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
    It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
    intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    NANCY GRACE:
    That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
    eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN:
    To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    BILL CLINTON:
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
    chicken?

    AL GORE:
    I invented the chicken!

    COLONEL SANDERS:
    Did I miss one?

    MARTHA STEWART:
    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
    standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
    dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
    information.

    DR SEUSS:
    Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
    chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
    To die in the rain. Alone.

    GRANDPA:
    In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
    us the chicken crossed the road, uphill both ways in blinding snow, and that was good enough for us.

    BARBARA WALTERS:
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
    chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
    experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
    life long dream of crossing the road.

    ARISTOTLE:
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    JOHN LENNON:
    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together.

    BILL GATES:
    I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but
    will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
    book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
    platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^ A PROBLEM HAS BEEN DETECTED AND E-CHICKEN WILL NOW SHUT DOWN...

    ALBERT EINSTEIN:
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
    chicken?
  2. upstater1

    upstater1 Rookie

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    That NEEDS to be published somewhere.

    Excellent.
  3. TheGodInAGreyHoodie

    TheGodInAGreyHoodie Rookie

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    JOHN MADDEN: What you saw there was good old fashion smash mouth road crossing. Of course nobody cross roads as well as Brett Favre.
    Last edited: May 23, 2008
  4. upstater1

    upstater1 Rookie

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    Of course, I think you're only responsible for Walton and above.

    Is that true?
  5. upstater1

    upstater1 Rookie

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    Bill Polian: It never would have crossed the road had the engineers flattened the asphalt correctly. Next year, we're reflattening that road and making sure that roads are made according to the original plans.
  6. Palm Beach Pats Fan

    Palm Beach Pats Fan Rookie

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    #93 Jersey


    Thanks-
    The political parts are from an e-mail that's been going around. I just added the spygate/Heinsohn/Walton parts at the top.
    Last edited: May 23, 2008
  7. TheGodInAGreyHoodie

    TheGodInAGreyHoodie Rookie

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    BOB DYLAN - How many roads must a chick cross before she can be called a chicken? The answer my friend is blowing in the wind, the answer is blowing in the wind.
  8. upstater1

    upstater1 Rookie

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    Elvis Presley: I didn't actually see the Chicken WALK across the road. The TV camera would only show the chicken from the top of the leg up. For all I know the chicken SKATED across the road.
  9. upstater1

    upstater1 Rookie

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    Ty Law: To feed his family.
  10. RPMCanes

    RPMCanes Rookie

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    Matt Walsh: His d**k was stuck in the chicken's ass.
  11. TheGodInAGreyHoodie

    TheGodInAGreyHoodie Rookie

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    ANTHONY SMITH:

    I guarantee we will stop that chicken from crossing the road.
  12. jmt57

    jmt57 Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Tony Dungy - Nobody can accuse us our chicken of jaywalking. Our chicken crossed the road the right way, in the crosswalk, fair and square.
  13. TheGodInAGreyHoodie

    TheGodInAGreyHoodie Rookie

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    TO:

    Thats my chicken. You can talk about the vacation but that would be unfair. Thats my chicken.

    LT:

    The chicken dancing on our logo on our field was unclassy.
  14. signbabybrady

    signbabybrady Rookie

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    #24 Jersey

    Not bad let me take a stab.

    John Madden: Look the chicken is crossing the road....BOOM! Where'd that truck come from!
  15. TheGodInAGreyHoodie

    TheGodInAGreyHoodie Rookie

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    CAM CAMERON:

    When we drafted that chicken we drafted the chicken's entire family.
  16. TheGodInAGreyHoodie

    TheGodInAGreyHoodie Rookie

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    I like that one better than mine. This game is fun.
  17. upstater1

    upstater1 Rookie

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    As the chicken was crossing the road, a turkey came up behind it and stuffed it right up the arse of the duck in font of it. And that's how the turducken came to be.
  18. TheGodInAGreyHoodie

    TheGodInAGreyHoodie Rookie

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    WES WELKER:

    Um, um, um, um, um.
  19. signbabybrady

    signbabybrady Rookie

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    #24 Jersey

    Thank you....obviously we have all heard him say boom a few times but for those who don't know or don't remember Where'd that truck come from was one of his lines from his video game when ever there was a big hit. I imagine he said it alot on the air too.
  20. TheGodInAGreyHoodie

    TheGodInAGreyHoodie Rookie

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    MARTIN LUTHER KING JR:

    I have a dream. A dream that one day my children would grow up in a world where chickens could cross the road without people asking about their motives.

    PACMAN JONES:

    To visit the strip club.
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