I am not arguing with your points, but you are very shortsighted in one area. You assume that the score would be the same if the Chargers had not made the mistakes. You assume that the mistakes made only have a short-term effect and not a gamelong effect.
Here are some thoughts:
1. Marty goes for 4th & 11 instead of the FG. He has a probowl kicker who has done well all season. Would he have made the kick? We can't say for sure, but the guy who missed the last FG of the game is the same guy who kicked a 60 yarder this season.
2. The headbutt gave us the first down we needed that led a FG. No headbutt, most likely no FG. Pats down by more points.
3. The stupid challenge. Marty waisted a TO. With 8 seconds left in the game, that to gould have bought some yardage to get the kicker closer.
4. The Troy strip. Say what you want, but on 4th & game the defender cannot give up that ball. An incomplete pass would have won the game for SD. IMO, that is a coaching error of not expressing to your players the right defensive action.
5. If Parker didnt fumble the kick return, we would have not gotten the ball.
6. If Rivers didnt throw the pick to Colvin, more time would have been off the clock.
There were more, but that is off the top of my head. Each error had a game impact, not just a little thing that happened and didn't go further as you imply. When they did or didn't happen is irrelevant because they effected the game as a whole.
I agree 100% that the Pats stepped up and executed what they needed to. They did a great job, but I also realize that SD made gamebreaking mistakes so we could make those plays.