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This and That (Saturday Night's Alright for Football)


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Zeus

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1. One Fan's Perspective - Those of us who are long term sports crazed Adrenaline Junkies live for this time of year. Saturday night, we'll be completely wired, nerves jangled in the frenzy of the big time King Hell competition that is the NFL playoffs. Largely impervious to the effects of the elements, the excessive pre-game indulgences (more on this below) or anything else. Nothing matters but The Game. It is a peculiar bit of torture - your heart races at about 600 beats per minute and you can feel your pulse pounding in your veins. It's the polar opposite of relaxing - your body screams with the sublime tension that mounts and mounts and mounts for three solid hours. It is life on The Big Roller-Coaster.

The higher the stakes, the more intense the experience. A defeat brings a sense of desolate despair, an ache that bores into the very core of your being, because the season is OVER, because there is no next week, no chance for redemption until the hot winds of July and August blow. A win is indescribable elation that transforms an entire community in a wave of electric excitement. It is this sense of belonging that we yearn for. This is what we crave, why we care so much.


2. It is, of course, very different for the players and coaches. They can't be in meetings or on the practice field or in the heat of battle thinking - we shouldn't have drafted Adrian Klemm or Darius Butler. They can't dwell on dreadful defensive stats or the ill informed complaints of The Sporting Press. They can't blame the coordinators or complain about the officiating or the announcers or a comment some complete imbecile made on ESPN or the NFL Network. In short, they can't be fans, because, for The Competitors, all there is, is the next play. You can't change the past. But the future is an opportunity to make a difference, even if you're Sergio Brown. The difference between success and failure. The difference between Heaven and Hell. Those who compete have no time for second guessing, doubts or recriminations. Just pick you yourself up, dust yourself off and try to make the next play. Try to win the game. It is a bottom line business. There is little consolation in playing well if you lose. And in the moments after a big win, however briefly, there is nothing but that one unchangeable, indisputable fact. You won. And no one can ever take that away from you.


3. Playoff Drought - Much has been made of the Patriots' failure to win a playoff game since the 2007 postseason. The Sporting Press and other assorted talking heads make this out to be an eternity of abject failure. It's a single elimination tournament with only the best teams playing their best football. Sorry, but Brady didn't play in 2008 and losing in the first round two years in a row does not constitute the end of life as we know it. For a longer term perspective, consider this: after 1963, the Patriots didn't make the playoffs again until 1976, didn't win a playoff game until 1985 and didn't win a home playoff game until 1996. Anyway, I've somehow managed to weather the epic three year drought - maybe I was battle-hardened by the decades with no playoffs at all.


4. Just curious about how players like Arian Foster and Victor Cruz go undrafted. Elite talents, passed over by all 32 teams for seven rounds. Just imagine the Patriots with either (or both!) of these guys.


5. A Confederacy of Dunces - So we've all devoted a lot of energy around here mocking everything associated with the jets. Who could have possibly believed that they would turn out to be more inept, venal and stupid than we ever could have imagined? When you think about it, it's really quite an accomplishment. I'm not usually impressed by failure, but this is on such a grand scale that you just have to tip your cap to Woody, O Tannenbaum, Fat Rex, (Marky) Mark, Santonio the Sociopath and the whole gang over at jets world headquarters, where, needless to say, the gene pool has become severely depleted. Nice to see that the crack management team will remain intact.


6. My friends in Wisconsin seem genuinely concerned about the Giants. No doubt the Packers would have much preferred the Falcons or the Lions. Much like the Patriots, the Packers have managed injuries wisely so should be healthier than they've been in a while. No one should be surprised if Green Bay runs away with this, but watch out for Eli in a close game.


7. Saints-49ers is a great match-up between featuring the superb New Orleans offense against the best defense in the NFC. The Saints are a very different team away from the friendly confines of the Super Dome. Look for the 49ers to give them a very tough time.


8. Warning - Prudent football fans will want to avoid the pre-game histrionics of Lewis and Suggs in Baltimore. Dangerous to watch without a chiropractor and a flight-discomfort bag nearby. This should be a bruising game. It would be foolish indeed to underestimate the Texans, who, aside from their rookie QB, seem built for the playoffs.


9. The History of Tailgating (A Personal Memoir) - The very early days of tailgating involved only the most rudimentary forms of refreshment. The advent of the Smokey Joe (i.e., the Invention of Fire) introduced hot food, largely in the form of hot dogs and hamburgers, eventually to be joined by the occasional marinated steak tips. Since this breakthrough, thousands of dead animals have given their lives over our charcoal fires.

In the current era, proper tailgating necessarily involves the four basic food groups: cows, pigs, chickens and sheep. In recent years, this has been augmented to include bivalves, crustaceans, gill bearing aquatic vertebrates, and waterfowl, all of which are washed down with copious amounts of carbonated malt beverages. Fermented grape juice products have gained favor as incomes have grown while bladders have contracted (a normal part of the aging process for The American Adult Male Football Fanatic). Each home game requires a good faith attempt to cover all of the enumerated food groups. With an average of 10 tailgaters each bringing enough food for 10+ people, we end up with food for 100 or more; inexplicably, we are generally able to consume 80-90% of that. (If this is an exaggeration at all, it's not much of one, as anyone who has attended one of our tailgates can attest.) While the short term health consequences are dire indeed, we have a remarkably high survival rate, mostly due to the wonders of modern medicine and the relative infrequence of home games over the course of a full year. In the long run, we remain supremely confident that because we have charcoals grills, large coolers and opposable thumbs, anything is possible.


10. It that seems our close personal friend Marshall Faulk never fully recovered from having his eggs scrambled by McGinest, Bruschi et al in Super Bowl XXXVI. So it's rather charitable of the NFL Network to provide Faulk with an outlet for his misinformed, often near hallucinatory musings. Despite Faulk's prognostications of doom, I remain hopeful that the Patriots will take care of business Saturday night so that we can all crank this up at least one more time. Here's hoping you can enjoy the game with people you care about. And a happy ending would be nice, too ...
 
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4. Just curious about how players like Arian Foster and Victor Cruz go undrafted. Elite talents, passed over by all 32 teams for seven rounds. Just imagine the Patriots with either (or both!) of these guys.

They don't measure heart at the combine. Look at Tom Brady.
 
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1. One Fan's Perspective - Those of us who are long term sports crazed Adrenaline Junkies live for this time of year. Saturday night, we'll be completely wired, nerves jangled in the frenzy of the big time King Hell competition that is the NFL playoffs. Largely impervious to the effects of the elements, the excessive pre-game indulgences (more on this below) or anything else. Nothing matters but The Game. It is a peculiar bit of torture - your heart races at about 600 beats per minute and you can feel your pulse pounding in your veins. It's the polar opposite of relaxing - your body screams with the sublime tension that mounts and mounts and mounts for three solid hours. It is life on The Big Roller-Coaster.

The higher the stakes, the more intense the experience. A defeat brings a sense of desolate despair, an ache to bores into the very core of your being, because the season is OVER, because there is no next week, no chance for redemption until the hot winds of July and August blow. A win is indescribable elation that transforms an entire community in a wave of electric excitement. It is this sense of belonging that we yearn for. This is what we crave, why we care so much.
There WAS a time when I too could put together a tight paragraph that accurately describe "a moment in the life" as well as you do. Now days, I just vomit out random ideas and decry the lack of an editor to point out my meanderings and grammatical embarrassments. I envy your skill and conciseness almost as much as I enjoy reading your thoughts

2. It is, of course, very different for the players and coaches. They can't be in meetings or on the practice field or in the heat of battle thinking - we shouldn't have drafted Adrian Klemm or Darius Butler. They can't dwell on dreadful defensive stats or the ill informed complaints of The Sporting Press.....
As a fan, a loss will be very painful. I would avoid watching anything to do with football until late March when the draft, like the coming of spring, starts to bring a return of optimism and a renewal of hope.

However as a player or coach, as I vaguely remember, while the immediate effects of the loss are much greater, the bounce back period is infinitely faster. As a competitor, your focus quickly moves on to the NEXT task. For the players and coaches its getting ready for the next season and figuring out what needs to be done to get better; since there is no such thing as the status quo in the NFL, you are either getting better or worse.

3. Playoff Drought - Much has been made of the Patriots' failure to win a playoff game since the 2007 postseason. The Sporting Press and other assorted talking heads make this out to be an eternity of abject failure. It's a single elimination tournament with only the best teams playing their best football. Sorry, but Brady didn't play in 2008 and losing in the first round two years in a row does not constitute the end of life as we know it. For a longer term perspective, consider this: after 1963, the Patriots didn't make the playoffs again until 1976, didn't win a playoff game until 1985 and didn't win a home playoff game until 1996. Anyway, I've somehow managed to weather the epic three year drought - maybe I was battle-hardened by the decades with no playoffs at all.
Thank you for putting this in such good perspective. It should be mandatory reading for all the mediots and chicken littles who barrage us with their constant invective on this topic.

4. Just curious about how players like Arian Foster and Victor Cruz go undrafted. Elite talents, passed over by all 32 teams for seven rounds. Just imagine the Patriots with either (or both!) of these guys.
The same reason Tom Brady lasts until 199. You draft players literally based on a snapshot of information. You have no idea how that player will develop within YOUR system. You can only guess if they're coachable. You can only guess if they are going to continue to develop from that "snapshot". You have no way of knowing how they will react to the inevitable adversity. Nor can you predict how they might react to any momentary success. By now you can see where I'm going here....You just don't know.

5. A Confederacy of Dunces - So we've all devoted a lot of energy around here mocking everything associated with the jets. Who could have possibly believed that they would turn out to be more inept, venal and stupid than we ever could have imagined? When you think about it, it's really quite an accomplishment. I'm not usually impressed by failure, but this is on such a grand scale that you just have to tip your cap to Woody, O Tannenbaum, Fat Rex, (Marky) Mark, Santonio the Sociopath and the whole gang over at jets world headquarters, where, needless to say, the gene pool has become severely depleted. Nice to see that the crack management team will remain intact.
It is all so satisfying, especially after living the last season under the tyranny of assorted Jets fans due to the loss last January. :D

It's interesting watching the Jets revamp so many of Rex's assistants. Clearly they are taking the fall for his incredible lack of leadership and foresight. I'm wondering if Rex is calling the shots here or is he just an observer happy he still has a job? Is Sparano being hired as the shadow HC? You have to wonder.

In the interest of band space and time, on the next four well written items I'll comment briefly on a few.

The NO/SF game and the Giants/Packers game hold great interest if you love great matchups. Personally I'd like to see NO get knocked out here for a couple of reasons. First it would elevate our draft pick by about a half dozen slots. Secondly, they are the team I'd least like to see in a dome in February. Awesome on offense and just good enough on defense to make me nervous.

Seeing the Giants in the Superbowl would just be TOO good.

I really hope the Ravens win versus Houston. I think we need to just shut those guys up once and for all and erase the stain from 2009.

10. It that seems our close personal friend Marshall Faulk never fully recovered from having his eggs scrambled by McGinest, Bruschi et al in Super Bowl XXXVI. So it's rather charitable of the NFL Network to provide Faulk with an outlet for his misinformed, often near hallucinatory musings. Despite Faulk's prognostications of doom, I remain hopeful that the Patriots will take care of business Saturday night so that we can all crank this up at least one more time. Here's hoping you can enjoy the game with people you care about. And a happy ending would be nice, too ...
Marshall is holding out for the "stopped watch" strategy on being correct on anything he says about the Pats. He has been so wrong, so often that it's almost a joke. It's actually hard to be mad at him, since he responses are so predictable.....and lame.

Again, great job Zeus, thanks for taking the time to provide us all with some reading pleasure as we await Act I of this 3 act play :D
 
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They don't measure heart at the combine. Look at Tom Brady.

They may not measure 'em, but judging from what I've just read, I'll bet they roast 'em over hot coals until juicy :D
 
I love it when the Pats host these Saturday night playoff games.
 
Zeus. That was beautiful.
Number 9 was one of the funniest things I've read in a long long time.
Thank you.
Respects,

Rich
 
- Why does everyone insist on saying "Tim Tebow" at every opportunity? Is there another "Tebow" around that requires the additional syllable for clarification?

- Isn't the "A team that finished <insert stat ranking here> has never won the Super Bowl" talk getting tiresome? The lack of contextual thinking and simplistic assumption that everything will stay the same (or get worse) in the playoffs is maddening. It is also selective. The Giants were the worst rushing team in the NFL this year yet are a chic pick for upsetting the Packers. The Colts in 2006 couldn't stop the run to save their life (worst in the NFL by a bunch). The Ravens in 2000 went 6 weeks between offensive touchdowns (no lie). Talking heads still haven't processed that the league has evolved twice since the mid-90's (FA/cap and offensive rule changes) and rankings now frighten them.

- So people are assuming the Pats will be eliminated by a team that takes advantage of their pathetic defense. This is the coach with the gameplan that beat the K-Gun Bills and the Greatest Show on Turf Rams with huge underdog teams and it is doubtful he has gotten dumber over time. But what about the last 2 playoffs where the Pats have yielded 61 points in 2 games? Let's take a look at the yardage associated with those scoring drives:

83, 17, 25, 0, 18, 52, 54, 37, 75 and 20
10 drives, 8 near midfield or in NE territory, 5 starting already in FG range

Seriously. 50% of the scoring drives were like college OT drives. And in the 2 extended "drives", 90% of the yards were on two plays...the Rice opening run and the short pass/missed tackle on Cotchery. So if the Pats can navigate this offseason without major breakdowns on offense or ST and if they can tackle effectively, I'm confident Belichick will be able to put something together for the Pats to be successful.
 
There WAS a time when I too could put together a tight paragraph that accurately describe "a moment in the life" as well as you do. Now days, I just vomit out random ideas and decry the lack of an editor to point out my meanderings and grammatical embarrassments. I envy your skill and conciseness almost as much as I enjoy reading your thoughts


As a fan, a loss will be very painful. I would avoid watching anything to do with football until late March when the draft, like the coming of spring, starts to bring a return of optimism and a renewal of hope.

However as a player or coach, as I vaguely remember, while the immediate effects of the loss are much greater, the bounce back period is infinitely faster. As a competitor, your focus quickly moves on to the NEXT task. For the players and coaches its getting ready for the next season and figuring out what needs to be done to get better; since there is no such thing as the status quo in the NFL, you are either getting better or worse.


Thank you for putting this in such good perspective. It should be mandatory reading for all the mediots and chicken littles who barrage us with their constant invective on this topic.

The same reason Tom Brady lasts until 199. You draft players literally based on a snapshot of information. You have no idea how that player will develop within YOUR system. You can only guess if they're coachable. You can only guess if they are going to continue to develop from that "snapshot". You have no way of knowing how they will react to the inevitable adversity. Nor can you predict how they might react to any momentary success. By now you can see where I'm going here....You just don't know.


It is all so satisfying, especially after living the last season under the tyranny of assorted Jets fans due to the loss last January. :D

It's interesting watching the Jets revamp so many of Rex's assistants. Clearly they are taking the fall for his incredible lack of leadership and foresight. I'm wondering if Rex is calling the shots here or is he just an observer happy he still has a job? Is Sparano being hired as the shadow HC? You have to wonder.

In the interest of band space and time, on the next four well written items I'll comment briefly on a few.

The NO/SF game and the Giants/Packers game hold great interest if you love great matchups. Personally I'd like to see NO get knocked out here for a couple of reasons. First it would elevate our draft pick by about a half dozen slots. Secondly, they are the team I'd least like to see in a dome in February. Awesome on offense and just good enough on defense to make me nervous.

Seeing the Giants in the Superbowl would just be TOO good.

I really hope the Ravens win versus Houston. I think we need to just shut those guys up once and for all and erase the stain from 2009.


Marshall is holding out for the "stopped watch" strategy on being correct on anything he says about the Pats. He has been so wrong, so often that it's almost a joke. It's actually hard to be mad at him, since he responses are so predictable.....and lame.

Again, great job Zeus, thanks for taking the time to provide us all with some reading pleasure as we await Act I of this 3 act play :D

Ken - very much appreciate the kind thoughts. And I think you give yourself way too little credit.
 
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