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Letter from Tom Brady's Poodle...


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Sometimes, other things happen first. Like, sometimes Coach Belichick will come by, and he’ll usually kick me and call Tom a “***” for owning a poodle. And then Tom will say, “Hey, it gets me laid,” and then they’ll high-five, and I’ll just sit there and wish that either of them would grow up.


It’s not fair, though, to make me just watch … you think I wouldn’t like to get on Gisele Bundchen for a little bit? You think I didn’t want to dirty-up Bridget Moynahan? You think I didn’t want to mount Tara Reid? Okay, I actually did mount Tara Reid once, but she was ****faced, and she didn’t even notice. That’s probably because I couldn’t touch the sides.
 
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