Brady not happy with youth sports competition-uber-alles atmosphere

[DarrylS]

I am real old school and when I played LL and on teams at the local YMCA, many parents were not even present.. bringing up kids in a less mobile time(the 50's) we were a lot on our own. Later I coached LL and as the kids were always bugging me: Can I pitch?? Can I catch?? so I let them, the kids really liked that opportunity, the parents less so. Meanwhile other coaches were yelling at their players to wake up and pay attention, their parents loved that. Nothing like "good tight discipline" in Little League

As a grandparent run into a lot of friends grandkids who are overprogrammed and the intense involvement needed to remain "competitive" is concerning. I know a second grader who is out 3 nights a week in organized sports.. seems too much for that age. Also know a 13 year old who drags his parents all around the NE playing on hockey and baseball travel teams, he is a good athlete, but a terrible "sport".. probably not good enough to warrant the amount of time his parents put into the required travel.

Sports are supposed to be fun, a developmental diversion, doubt these kids are having a much fun as they say they are... I know their parents aren't.

 

[WaterfallJumper]

I appreciate this thread immensely. My wife and I are due this week (theoretically in five days, unless we go late!) and we've both been very involved in athletics growing up, but have some concerns about how to approach everything for our son. Good food for thought here; I hope I can encourage our son to have fun and learn discipline and respect above simply being the best -- although, if he's a prodigy, I wont hold him back.

 

[Bobsyouruncle]

I have three kids in sports and I don't see it. Unless someone ops for the more competitive traveling leagues it's not very intense. The city or school sports are the same as when I was a kid.

If anything I see the opposite. They don't keep score in my 2nd graders league because apparently parents feel it could hurt the children. But it doesn't matter, the kids always keep score and know who won. But that's the way it's always been.

 

[slam]

God help Peyton Manning's son.

God help Cooper Manning's kids!

 

[pheenix11]

My 6 year old son plays flag football at the YMCA and loves it, he has a lot of fun, I'm sure part of it is that he knows I love football so its a bond we share.

I looked into the local Pop Warner league out of curiosity. Practice even at his age is 4 times a week x 2 hours each night. I was like WTF are you kidding me, he's 6! Never mind the whole concussion debate with tackle football.

I think we'll stick with the flag football at the Y. They're kids, its supposed to be fun.

 

[Deus Irae]

I don't know what Brady thinks he's seeing, but we're living in the era of participation trophies, which is pretty much the opposite of his complaint.

If anything, kids sports aren't competitive enough.

 

[patsfan13]

I don't know what Brady thinks he's seeing, but we're living in the era of participation trophies, which is pretty much the opposite of his complaint.

If anything, kids sports aren't competitive enough.

Both things are happening, not as much stuff 'in the middle' as previously.


There is a place for participation trophies. There are leagues for the 5-7 year olds that are instructional to teach basics. Participation trophies are fine for that age group, older kids, not so good.

There are full time travel teams for 10 year olds.

Don't get me started on how some parents and coaches act toward the games and kids.

 

[Tony2046]

I appreciate this thread immensely. My wife and I are due this week (theoretically in five days, unless we go late!) and we've both been very involved in athletics growing up, but have some concerns about how to approach everything for our son. Good food for thought here; I hope I can encourage our son to have fun and learn discipline and respect above simply being the best -- although, if he's a prodigy, I wont hold him back.

Congratulations.

 

[vyrago]

One mistake that parents these days make is try and determine at an early age just how "gifted" their kids are at sports. The thing is that at an early age NO ONE is really good. When I was in my early teens most of the kid who were the best athletes in the 7th and 8th grades, where no longer in the running by the time they were juniors.

I coached 3 kids to made for a cup of coffee in the NF. But the point is that none of them were even the best kid at his position on his HS team, let alone all state . One kid (Chris Keating) didn't start until his senior year. He didn't get a scholarship until one opened up at Maine late (IIRC) He ended lasting 7 years mostly with the Bills

I think that parents who think their kids need to make serious commitments to sports at an early age are making big mistakes. I know it works out some times. I coached Mike O'Connell his sophomore year in HS. He was very good. His father ended up taking him out of school the next year to go to Canada and play junior hockey. Now Mike ended up having a very long NHL career and wound up a GM in Boston, but I would disagree to this day that he had to give up his HS years to end up that good.

It used to be that kids KNEW how to play as kids. Now I would recommend that parents need to teach their kids to go out to play with other kids....without parents. I remember Brady talking about what a great time he had growing up playing with all the kids in his neighborhood. I would suggest that he's going to have to go through some considerable effort for his kid to have a similar experience.....and that's a shame.

I've kind of jumped in here in the middle, but much of this helicoptering seems to have to do with parents being terrified to let their kids out of their sight. We used to go out to play after school and not return home till the streetlights came on. We played things like KickTheCan, HideandGoSeek and some ball games where a hydrant was a base or use the local ballpark if it were empty. It's the hyper-organization that has changed how kids interact (play). They don't learn how to organize themselves because parents are too busy reliving their own childhoods through them to leave them alone. I loved my childhood, bumps and bruises and broken bones and all.

 

[patsfan13]

I've kind of jumped in here in the middle, but much of this helicoptering seems to have to do with parents being terrified to let their kids out of their sight. We used to go out to play after school and not return home till the streetlights came on. We played things like KickTheCan, HideandGoSeek and some ball games where a hydrant was a base or use the local ballpark if it were empty. It's the hyper-organization that has changed how kids interact (play). They don't learn how to organize themselves because parents are too busy reliving their own childhoods through them to leave them alone. I loved my childhood, bumps and bruises and broken bones and all.

People worry about what can happen when the kids are out of sight on their own, I feel bad my kids and grandkids didn't have the freedom I had as a kid in the 50/60's.

 

[Tony2046]

Similarly, I see parents focused on IQ rather than EQ. I'm not convinced that shoving a kid into a Russian math school has any true benefit for a child's overall future unless that kid demonstrates a propensity for math and enjoys it. Not every kid is going to be the next Einstein or Leonardo Da Vinci because if they were they would already be. In other words I think a parent has miles more influence on a child's EQ than his IQ.

 

[Deus Irae]

There is a place for participation trophies.

There's no place, and no age, for participation trophies.

 

[patsfan13]

There's no place, and no age, for participation trophies.

Ever dealt with a 5 year old?

 

[1960Pats]

I like the way this thread has turned.

I'm ten years out from a 15 year run as a coach and administrator for LLB here. It was, without a doubt, a most rewarding and educational experience. I truly wish that I had been writing a journal during that time.

There is absolutely nothing better than being among a group of 8-12 year old kids and seeing they way they interact with each other. I learned more things in that time than I could have possibly hoped for, and still smile when I think of some of the fun we had down at the park over the years.

- One kid who rarely hit a ball had one of the biggest hits of one season on a late swing grounder over the bag at 1st to win a playoff game. To this day they still call him The Hit Dog, and he's in his 30's.
- I also learned what backwash was from one of the kids on our bench when I asked him why the players weren't worried about anyone drinking their drinks while they were out of the field. I can still see the smile on the kid's face as he picked up his drink, drank some and spit it back in and said, "coach, that's backwash." I never came close to taking a sip of anything on the bench after that.
- Most importantly, I learned how to communicate with kids and what bothered them and what didn't. I was surprised the first time a kid cried on the bench and nobody made fun of him. They all knew that feeling.

Sadly, it wasn't all peaches and cream because of some of the parents, but because we ran a tight league things never got out of control. Any times that parents would start anything we would jump on them right away. In the "heat of the moment" you have to act firmly and strictly. I can only remember one time that we had to ask a parent to leave.

It's a fine line that we walk when we try to teach kids a sport, especially the young ones. As the manager or head coach, you have the largest impact on that child's experience. Too many people, even with good intentions, can make that experience a poor one.

Most of the good people who get involved in coaching do so because they see things they don't like and don't want their child to experience that while playing a game or sport that's supposed to be fun.

 

[patsfan13]

Then there is the difference between coaching a boys and girls team.