TheGodInAGreyHoodie
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Matt Cassel prays science experiment ends world before Sunday
FOXBORO, MA—Newly-minted Patriots starting QB Matt Cassel has begun to pray that the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) experiment in Geneva, Switzerland induces a cataclysmic reaction and ending all life on the solar system, preferably before Sunday’s game against the Jets, despite repeated assurances from the project’s leaders that there was virtually no chance of such a catastrophe happening.
“I know it’s a stretch, but right now I’ll take anything,” a visibly nervous and pale Cassel told SSNN. “Something, anything, to get me out of Sunday’s game without losing face. I think most of the fans in Boston will accept that the end of the world is an unfortunate occurrence I have no control over.”
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FOXBORO, MA—Newly-minted Patriots starting QB Matt Cassel has begun to pray that the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) experiment in Geneva, Switzerland induces a cataclysmic reaction and ending all life on the solar system, preferably before Sunday’s game against the Jets, despite repeated assurances from the project’s leaders that there was virtually no chance of such a catastrophe happening.
“I know it’s a stretch, but right now I’ll take anything,” a visibly nervous and pale Cassel told SSNN. “Something, anything, to get me out of Sunday’s game without losing face. I think most of the fans in Boston will accept that the end of the world is an unfortunate occurrence I have no control over.”
more