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Applying Wells Report Logic to HGH-gate


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Joseph K. Brady

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After his skills/health decline to the point his team intentionally tanks a season in order to draft a worthy replacement, Peyton Manning suddenly and unexpectedly rejuvenates his career with a new team whose only Superbowl wins occurred through cheating (the salary cap). In accomplishing this, his most notable trait is that it he inexplicably and bizarrely starts to repeatedly shout "Omaha" prior to every snap. After a period of time of dodging questions in regards to this, he finally states that the word has different meanings in different situations. This is deemed to be impossible because every ill-defined/code word used in football must have a literal though secretly-incriminating meaning (see "deflator").

So the question becomes - what does "Omaha" really mean in this context? Well, when most people think about "Omaha" they think Omaha Steaks. Steaks come from cows. Growth hormone is commonly used in the raising of cows to produce lean meat, e.g. steaks. Therefore, it is considered to be more probable than not that use of the word "Omaha" is tantamount to a conscious or subconscious admission of using growth hormone as a performance enhancer, with his successor's continued use of the same code word only being done to "mask" Manning's attempt to hide/destroy evidence in the matter.

Pending Goodell's agreement and inevitable suspension of Manning for conduct detrimental to the integrity of the game, that should be the end of it.
 
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I think Ray Lewis comments on Peyton* summed it up pretty good in his intelligent, coherent, well thought out response.. ;);)

Peyton* watch out for those "fiery darts"..

Ray Lewis offers his views on the Peyton Manning HGH allegations

First of all, I think my situation’s a little bit different because I said this was my last ride. And I’ve always been kind of one to pay attention to fiery darts. And so I think what people needs [sic] to understand — I understand Peyton’s frustration because legacies are sweat driven. And I’ll be durned [sic] if a liar or a coward will ever take away what me, myself, Steve Young, Peyton Manning has ever done in this game. Like, that’s the only sad part about this is that you let these people in, and then they run. This guy says all of this during my Super Bowl [week] and then you never hear from them again.

“But we give them access to what greatness really is, and greatness hurts. It hurts every freaking day. And it hurts worse when somebody tries to tell you that you cheated the game. I get Peyton, man, and from my perspective I’ve never done nothing like that and that’s what’s embarrassing that I did it for my teammates, man, and that’s what’s bothering Peyton right now is that for him to be trying to get back, bro, right? Do everything he can. And nobody knows what that takes. Nobody knows the sacrifices you leave your family. Nobody knows what you go through.”
 
I've read it twice and I have no idea what point he was trying to make.

Neither did he, but some folks like to listen to themselves spout idiocy...
 
I think Ray Lewis comments on Peyton* summed it up pretty good in his intelligent, coherent, well thought out response.. ;);)

Peyton* watch out for those "fiery darts"..

Ray Lewis offers his views on the Peyton Manning HGH allegations

I could not finish his quote -- it's like trying to understand a foreign language that you learned in middle school.

There's two things that should disqualify him from tv -- being a murderer, and being incoherent. I don't think any fans outside Baltimore like him, so I have no clue why he gets on national tv
 
I think Ray Lewis comments on Peyton* summed it up pretty good in his intelligent, coherent, well thought out response.. ;);)

Peyton* watch out for those "fiery darts"..

Ray Lewis offers his views on the Peyton Manning HGH allegations

Maybe he was trying to say that his, Peyton's, Young's, etc. respective legacies shouldn't be affected by any such related concerns because if they used anything extra it was via the Raphael Palmeiro method:

 
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