Pats Win The Battle Of The Bumblers

FOXBOROUGH — Think back to Week 3 of 1996.

Here were the Patriots, 0-2 after close road losses to Miami and Buffalo to open the season. The Pats come home to Foxborough for the season opener. Their opponent is the perenially pathetic Arizona Cardinals, a franchise built in their owner’s image.

Result? Patriots 31, Cardinals 0. Drew Bledsoe somersaulted for a first down early in the game, and school was out. The Patriots manhandled a pitiful team at home, and won the game they way they should. That win turned 0-2 into an AFC championship.

Now, today. The Bungles. Another franchise with both a pathetic history and an owner. Easy home win to right the sinking Patriot ship, right?

Hah.

Today you have the “Battle Of The Bumblers”. WBZ’s Bob Lobel called it the “resistable force versus the movable object”. Actually, it looked more like WKRP’s softball team playing an intersquad game.

The Patriots may have won today, but it was clear that they were the more pathetic team. They were the home team. They have the Bengals by a mile in talent on paper. Cincinnati hadn’t scored a touchdown on the road all season. Cincinnati hadn’t scored a passing touchdown in 28 quarters.

You sat there, watched the 16-13 nailbiter, and wondered to yourself, “My goodness, this Patriot team just plain stinks!” Or, you sat and strained your brain thinking about what positives you could perhaps take from this “win”.

You can’t. There are no positives. If you point to any area where the Patriots excelled, you have to qualify that with “Yeah, but remember that these were the Bengals they were playing…”

All the win does is push the Patriots to 3-8, and in all likelihood keeps the team away from the top pick in the 2001 draft. If the Pats wind up tied with the Bengals at season’s end, the Pats lose the draft tiebreaker with Cincinnati because they won today.

Like I said, don’t bother looking for positives.

The end of the game pretty much said it all. With 45 seconds left and the Patriots driving towards a game winning field goal (Driving? In the fourth quarter? Whoo, boy! Hey, this team’s gonna bust out…wait, I forgot that these are the Bengals), Drew Bledsoe tried to connect with Terry Glenn on a 20-yard touchdown. Rodney Heath was flagged for a rather questionable pass interference call, putting the ball at the Bengal 1.

Cool, thinks the Fox Fans. Instead of a field goal, the team busts in a touchdown and makes a bold statement. Let somebody bust it up the gut two or three times, and you still have the chip shot field goal to fall back on if it fails.

Not a chance. On the first two plays from scrimmage, Bledsoe took kneel downs. The crowd booed in disgust. Adam Vinatieri kicked his 22-yard game winner, but the crowd was still booing. The Pats held on to win, and everyone went home angry rather than happy.

It was the fitting ending to a very unemotional game. The crowd, or rather what few showed up for today’s game, was silent most of the way. And when the Pats had a chance to make the end of the game really majestic, they settled for boring, which is what this game was.

Why the field goal? Bill Belichick said in his press conference that he didn’t want to give the ball back to Cincinnati with too much time left so that they could run “multiple offensive sets against us”.

This says two things. First, he had no confidence in his running game. Second, he had no confidence in his defense.

The coach is right, of course. Who’s to say that Patrick Pass (who had a drop today that he recovered) or Kevin Faulk (who needs to see Lester Hayes for some stick-um, and soon) wouldn’t have coughed the ball up at the goal line? And if someone did indeed score, 45 seconds is a long time to keep a team scoreless at the end of the game for this poor Pats defense.

It is incredibly silly, but very common sense. The Bengals had one timeout left, their prized young quarterback Akili Smith benched on the sideline, and an offense that scored their first passing touchdown in 28 quarters a few hours ago. But this is the Patriot defense, and the Buffalo game is still fresh in everyone’s memory, including Belichick’s.

That is why they kick and not run.

Belichick’s correct calls in the final minute are a complete damnation of the run and the defense, mostly the defense. You could sit there and say “Well, the defense did pretty much contain Corey Dillon…”, and “Well, Scott Mitchell never really moved his team in the fourth quarter…”. But if you watched the Buffalo game two weeks ago, you begin to understand.

And especially since the Patriots pulled an even worse stinker last week against an truly offensive Cleveland team, Belichick had to take the win the best way he knew how. Simple as that.

All day long, the Patriots showed that they are right there with Cincinnati at the bottom of the NFL heap. Twice today they had 4th and 2 in favorable field positions, yet kicked each time. Their supposed number 2 receiver, Tony Simmons, allowed rookie Robert Bean to wrestle the ball away from him, turning a catch into a pick. The soft defense allowed Mitchell way too many pass completions underneath.

Today’s game was a stinker. You knew it would be going in. This has to be one of the worst Patriot wins you’ll ever see.

One could not be questioned if they thought this might be the final Patriot win of the season. The Ohio teams were the two cupcakes, and the Patriots went 1-1 in close games instead of two blowout wins. If the Patriots have this much trouble with these two teams, the rest of the season doesn’t exactly look very rosy.

In defense of the Patriots, injuries right now are a factor. You can begin with Bledsoe’s thumb, which again caused misfires on normally easy completions. Ted Johnson is always missed when he’s out. Willie McGinest made it back today, but obviously not at full speed. J.R. Redmond did not dress today, thus the extensive use of the rookie Pass.

But this still could have been a solid win for the Patriots today instead of a close eke-out. The Patriots still had enough personnel on the field today to blow Cincinnati out. Instead, the team looked like the Bengals in the mirror. The winner did not win today. The loser lost the game, giving it to the winner.

This week, the Patriots don’t even have a full six days to rest up and study up. They have tomorrow off, practice Tuesday, fly to Metro Airport on Wednesday, and try not to look like turkeys in Detroit on Thursday.

Our advice is to enjoy your family and your food. And don’t confuse the main dish with your favorite football team.

We say that because today, you certainly would have.

Read Next Patriots Bring Back Harris →

About Bob George

Covering Boston Sports since 1997. Native of Worcester, Mass. Attended UMass and Univ of Michigan. Lives in California. Just recently retired after 40 years of public school teaching. Podcasts on YouTube at @thepic4139

View all posts by Bob George