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God reveals truth about tebow


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GOD REVEALS TRUTH ABOUT TEBOW

December 18, 2011 - (Heaven) God, in an exclusive interview with 60 Minutes Sunday evening, revealed His true feelings about Broncos QB Tim Tebow.

In an exclusive one-on-one with Mike Wallace, God had this to say about the Mile High Messiah.

"Look, it's obvious I love Timmy. Always have. He's a good kid who brings my team here in heaven and I a lot of positive press, but when it comes to choosing between Tom Brady and the Patriots and Tim, there really is no decision there for me", the Lord said after New England dismantled the Broncos and Tebow on their home field in Denver, 41-23.

"I mean Bill (Belichick), Tom and I have been super close for a lot of years now and if I am nothing else, I am loyal to my old friends", commented the Omnipotent One.

"I love the whole Tebow praying thing and kind of cute pointing gestures to Me and everything, but Tom really is the closest thing to a son I have besides Jesus. I mean even my own Son Jesus has a Tom Brady poster on His wall here in heaven and is seldom seen in public without his authentic replica Tom Brady #12 jersey on! I mean I gave Giselle Bundchen to Tom, so what more do you need to know about how I feel about him?!?!?"

When asked if He actually has imposed Divine Intervention on some of the Broncos comebacks this year, the Creator laughed, and said, "Mike, you know better. I don't try to influence football games, although I must admit, I did put a little extra, shall we say, "strong air" behind those Adam Vinatieri kicks in those Super Bowls and the Snow Game vs Oakland!"

Wallace mentioned the Giants' ending the Patriots bid for a perfect season in 2007, to which the All-Powerful one commented, "Mike, everyone knows anything from the New Jersey/New York region is marked with the Beast. I long ago gave that area to Lucifer in a deal where he got New York/New Jersey and I got Boston! Ever since Job, every once in awhile, I have to let Satan have a little victory to keep him happy. The Giants win was such a day. Believe me, David Tyree, Eli Manning, Tom Coughlin or Plaxico Burress will never set foot in Heaven. They have confirmed reservations to rot and burn in the River of Hades, and pretty much any Giants, Jets, Yankees, Mets, Knicks, Nets and Rangers fans will be right there with them! I mean, I didn't let them name the New Jersey hockey team the Devils for nothing, you know?!", chuckled the Great Spirit of Light.

When asked what He has in store for Tebow for the rest of his career, the All-Glorious and Magnificent One said, "I will allow Timmy some success, for sure, as long as he continues to glorify my name, but I have to say, "Sorry Tebow, my son Jesus sits at my right hand, and the seat on my left has a Patriots logo and the #12 already inscribed on it!" "
 
the onion or ur work?

either way fantastic
 
Good one.

Also had two great laughs thanks to God telling Timmy to pump fake 20 yards beyond the line of scrimage and run backwards 25 yards you can just fake them out while they chase you.
 

I saw the skit live and it was pretty funny. It is all over the place now, and while there are plenty of people who are outraged about the skit making fun of either Tebow or religion or both, I haven't heard one person be outraged that Bill Belichick was called the Devil by "Jesus" during that skit. Where's all the outrage on behalf of BB? (PS - I don't expect there to be any; just think it's funny/ironic).
 
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