- Joined
- Jun 17, 2000
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I'm not going to lie, this has been the longest two weeks I've had to deal with on here, and given the latest developments, I'm going to try and address this as best I can.
Backstory
Since I started this site 20+ years ago, I've tried to maintain the same approach when it comes to how I've handled this place. I'm not just an admin. I think it's safe to say all of this goes well beyond that. It didn't start that way, and I think everyone in here should know that at no point have I ever not put everyone in here first in anything I've ever done.
When I started "Ian's Patriots Homepage" (super-cheesy, I know), as soon as I added a guestbook and a bulletin board, I was psyched just to have people show up and want to talk a little football with me. I'd get excited when 2 or 3 people would show up in a given day and it was fun interacting with people. Obviously, it grew from there but it hasn't changed the fact that I've enjoyed every minute of chatting with people on here from the beginning.
I think if I was more detached, it would probably be easier at times, but that's not how I've ever wanted this place to be. It's a massive part of who I am and all of you have become a part of my life in various ways, given all of the conversations over the years. Many of those have kept me going even in times where things have been extremely difficult. I think about quite a few of them at times, including from some who are no longer with us. I think the latter reminds me how big of a deal that is, especially given the amount of time they spent here and I'm grateful to have been a part of that.
Granted, I'm aware looking back that there have been things that haven't been perfect. I've certainly made my fair share of mistakes. But I can promise that anything I've done has certainly been with the best intentions, regardless of whether or not things did/didn't work out. Much of that has obviously been community-driven, and I've taken every bit of feedback into consideration over the years, and it's influenced the majority of what you see on here now.
Context Matters
Behind the scenes, I've had various conversations with literally thousands of people over the years, which is probably why being in this position at times can be trying. After two decades, life has hit hard in various ways for all of us, and there are many people I've spoken to privately who have dealt with some things from a personal standpoint. All of that provides a lot of context, even at times where lines have been crossed over the years.
Not everything is black and white. I don't take any situation lightly, and truthfully, not every situation is addressed. Obviously, I look at reports, and there are various times where they're closed due to the fact things just get heated, and it's over a disagreement or difference of opinions. I'm also aware that there are times when the person doing the reporting is not exactly in the right, either. It doesn't change the fact that don't ever assume one of us has seen a post or are ignoring it. Report it, and I will review it, and that will be that.
I've dealt with literally thousands of various personalities on here, and I understand everybody's different. None of us are the same, and we all have various ways we look at things. I don't believe there's one right way to look at something over another. And I don't believe anyone needs to be told how to think or how to feel.
At the same time, I also know the backstory of many of you, which is why when people have slipped or gone too far, there is some essence when it comes to the benefit of the doubt that is taken into consideration. Everyone on here - myself included - is a person with personal challenges and things we deal with on a regular basis. And it's harder for different people, and everybody copes with things in different ways.
That's why even in cases where lines are crossed, there are times where I've always tried to be lenient. I know at various times in here, that's obviously frustrated people, especially those who were probably on the other end of it. Again, there's context, and I try to be understanding when it comes to people's lives and personalities because this is the type of place where there is no "one size fits all" approach. However, I do believe in human decency and at least having some compassion and respect for the people around us.
Again, I know things are sometimes posted in anger and in the heat of the moment, which is why there's virtually never any type of penalty involved, save for the post being deleted. That doesn't excuse it. It just means that I understand it.
The Rules Here Are Simple
I think most people know the level that it takes for any user to get removed from here. I would absolutely never remove anyone for anything beyond the following two things:
1) I tend to ask for very little here, so if I ask you to do something, it needs to be followed, even if you might not like it.
2) On the above, a pattern of behavior where something continues to happen is absolutely going to put you in jeopardy.
Those are the only situations that would cause me to potentially remove someone, and they involve extreme cases. Some have mentioned crawhammer. He wasn't removed for any other reason other than the fact I asked him literally dozens of times not to post the same argument in every single thread, and he couldn't control himself.
I know time seems to make that situation feel less painful, but I could literally pull out dozens of threads where exchanges about the same topic crept back into each one of them, with page after page of back-and-forths in there. I absolutely tried to be patient with him, but that one was just so excessive, to the point it obviously led to me even taking the time to institute changes (the mod mute) to try and allow him to continue while keeping those exchanges between him and whoever wanted to keep going back and forth with him.
Again, never said he couldn't talk about it. But I repeatedly told him other threads already existed that were relevant to that topic (Brady vs Bill) and asked him not to keep bringing it up in ones that weren't. It was the "Six degrees of Kevin Bacon" situation, and he kept linking it to any topic. That makes life excessively difficult for the mods and the people who take the time to have productive discussions, only to have it derailed. Ignoring me is what finally made me end that one.
Obviously, the latest two were different situations. I've addressed one and I've left the other two threads undeleted but locked on the other. I'm not going to get into it any further out of respect for the people involved. However, anyone who believes I'm happy about either is also incorrect because, as I've mentioned, I have relationships with all of you, those three included. And I'm sitting here fairly frustrated about what's transpired here as of late.
I Have Zero Motives Here
I'm extremely frustrated right now with some of the comments and the accusations. Especially given my history with everyone in here.
Again, I get that people disagree and I can appreciate that. At the same time, you can question any decision, but my one issue is for anyone questioning my mindset.
I think most people know my stance on politics and it's the same for race, gender, sexuality, etc. I truly don't care and everyone on here has always been judged on here for how you treat other people. That's sort of the beauty of an online forum and the anonymity that goes along with it. I can't speak for other places/sites/platforms, but you're judged in here for your words and your actions. As long as you're not a d**k and you stay off my/Ross/Mike's radar, you're pretty much left alone.
I spend a lot of time reviewing other boards and I can promise you, this place is far and away the most lenient one out there, and that's primarily for the respect I have for people in here based on what I've already stated. The situations involved that ever provoke a posting restriction are pretty extreme, and being confined to a particular forum is also not something I've subscribed to. With the exception of one situation/poster.
I will say that given my experience here, suspensions or "timeouts" also fall into that category. Those have never solved the problem - ever. They've instead created animosity, and that's why I haven't gone down that road.
We're all adults and no one "learns a lesson." If my conversations with you don't sway your behavior and you reach an extreme, there's nothing I can do. And if it ever reaches that point, I can promise you there were double-digit instances where I either let previous instances slide or talked to that person about it. If you fall into that category and you do something absolutely horrific, my hand has been forced, and you've put me in a situation where I'm left without an option. And that sucks - but it's not my fault. I didn't force you to do it.
You're Not Required to Like Me
And just because I own the place doesn't require you to be nice to me, agree with me, or be my friend. With that in mind, it does require you to do what I ask if you're doing something I don't agree with. Especially if it falls outside the bounds of what most people would consider standard forum etiquette.
As I've mentioned, everyone's different. And we have discussions on here each day that involve a difference of opinions and overall outlooks. That's obviously what makes everything work. Again, staying within the general guidelines of the board is all that's asked. Just don't become an issue or a habitual offender.
The bar is pretty low here, and I think I've always shown all of you in here the respect you've deserved. I truly care about everybody in here, primarily because of our interactions and the community this place has become. I'd like to think I've made it pretty clear based on my track record that the leash is incredibly excessive here and has increased in recent years, despite accusations to the contrary.
I made the analogy in a previous post, but even in instances where I've had drinks thrown in my face while you're in my establishment, I've still done my best to try, and I'll always continue to try, and make things work. If anyone believes I've taken any satisfaction in any of this, especially given the tenures of the people involved, I don't really know what to tell you.
To close this out, I think I've outlined my expectations here. So for the sake of not repeating myself, I feel like I've said about all there is to say. Again, my inbox is always open, but hopefully this has at least cleared some things up.
Backstory
Since I started this site 20+ years ago, I've tried to maintain the same approach when it comes to how I've handled this place. I'm not just an admin. I think it's safe to say all of this goes well beyond that. It didn't start that way, and I think everyone in here should know that at no point have I ever not put everyone in here first in anything I've ever done.
When I started "Ian's Patriots Homepage" (super-cheesy, I know), as soon as I added a guestbook and a bulletin board, I was psyched just to have people show up and want to talk a little football with me. I'd get excited when 2 or 3 people would show up in a given day and it was fun interacting with people. Obviously, it grew from there but it hasn't changed the fact that I've enjoyed every minute of chatting with people on here from the beginning.
I think if I was more detached, it would probably be easier at times, but that's not how I've ever wanted this place to be. It's a massive part of who I am and all of you have become a part of my life in various ways, given all of the conversations over the years. Many of those have kept me going even in times where things have been extremely difficult. I think about quite a few of them at times, including from some who are no longer with us. I think the latter reminds me how big of a deal that is, especially given the amount of time they spent here and I'm grateful to have been a part of that.
Granted, I'm aware looking back that there have been things that haven't been perfect. I've certainly made my fair share of mistakes. But I can promise that anything I've done has certainly been with the best intentions, regardless of whether or not things did/didn't work out. Much of that has obviously been community-driven, and I've taken every bit of feedback into consideration over the years, and it's influenced the majority of what you see on here now.
Context Matters
Behind the scenes, I've had various conversations with literally thousands of people over the years, which is probably why being in this position at times can be trying. After two decades, life has hit hard in various ways for all of us, and there are many people I've spoken to privately who have dealt with some things from a personal standpoint. All of that provides a lot of context, even at times where lines have been crossed over the years.
Not everything is black and white. I don't take any situation lightly, and truthfully, not every situation is addressed. Obviously, I look at reports, and there are various times where they're closed due to the fact things just get heated, and it's over a disagreement or difference of opinions. I'm also aware that there are times when the person doing the reporting is not exactly in the right, either. It doesn't change the fact that don't ever assume one of us has seen a post or are ignoring it. Report it, and I will review it, and that will be that.
I've dealt with literally thousands of various personalities on here, and I understand everybody's different. None of us are the same, and we all have various ways we look at things. I don't believe there's one right way to look at something over another. And I don't believe anyone needs to be told how to think or how to feel.
At the same time, I also know the backstory of many of you, which is why when people have slipped or gone too far, there is some essence when it comes to the benefit of the doubt that is taken into consideration. Everyone on here - myself included - is a person with personal challenges and things we deal with on a regular basis. And it's harder for different people, and everybody copes with things in different ways.
That's why even in cases where lines are crossed, there are times where I've always tried to be lenient. I know at various times in here, that's obviously frustrated people, especially those who were probably on the other end of it. Again, there's context, and I try to be understanding when it comes to people's lives and personalities because this is the type of place where there is no "one size fits all" approach. However, I do believe in human decency and at least having some compassion and respect for the people around us.
Again, I know things are sometimes posted in anger and in the heat of the moment, which is why there's virtually never any type of penalty involved, save for the post being deleted. That doesn't excuse it. It just means that I understand it.
The Rules Here Are Simple
I think most people know the level that it takes for any user to get removed from here. I would absolutely never remove anyone for anything beyond the following two things:
1) I tend to ask for very little here, so if I ask you to do something, it needs to be followed, even if you might not like it.
2) On the above, a pattern of behavior where something continues to happen is absolutely going to put you in jeopardy.
Those are the only situations that would cause me to potentially remove someone, and they involve extreme cases. Some have mentioned crawhammer. He wasn't removed for any other reason other than the fact I asked him literally dozens of times not to post the same argument in every single thread, and he couldn't control himself.
I know time seems to make that situation feel less painful, but I could literally pull out dozens of threads where exchanges about the same topic crept back into each one of them, with page after page of back-and-forths in there. I absolutely tried to be patient with him, but that one was just so excessive, to the point it obviously led to me even taking the time to institute changes (the mod mute) to try and allow him to continue while keeping those exchanges between him and whoever wanted to keep going back and forth with him.
Again, never said he couldn't talk about it. But I repeatedly told him other threads already existed that were relevant to that topic (Brady vs Bill) and asked him not to keep bringing it up in ones that weren't. It was the "Six degrees of Kevin Bacon" situation, and he kept linking it to any topic. That makes life excessively difficult for the mods and the people who take the time to have productive discussions, only to have it derailed. Ignoring me is what finally made me end that one.
Obviously, the latest two were different situations. I've addressed one and I've left the other two threads undeleted but locked on the other. I'm not going to get into it any further out of respect for the people involved. However, anyone who believes I'm happy about either is also incorrect because, as I've mentioned, I have relationships with all of you, those three included. And I'm sitting here fairly frustrated about what's transpired here as of late.
I Have Zero Motives Here
I'm extremely frustrated right now with some of the comments and the accusations. Especially given my history with everyone in here.
Again, I get that people disagree and I can appreciate that. At the same time, you can question any decision, but my one issue is for anyone questioning my mindset.
I think most people know my stance on politics and it's the same for race, gender, sexuality, etc. I truly don't care and everyone on here has always been judged on here for how you treat other people. That's sort of the beauty of an online forum and the anonymity that goes along with it. I can't speak for other places/sites/platforms, but you're judged in here for your words and your actions. As long as you're not a d**k and you stay off my/Ross/Mike's radar, you're pretty much left alone.
I spend a lot of time reviewing other boards and I can promise you, this place is far and away the most lenient one out there, and that's primarily for the respect I have for people in here based on what I've already stated. The situations involved that ever provoke a posting restriction are pretty extreme, and being confined to a particular forum is also not something I've subscribed to. With the exception of one situation/poster.
I will say that given my experience here, suspensions or "timeouts" also fall into that category. Those have never solved the problem - ever. They've instead created animosity, and that's why I haven't gone down that road.
We're all adults and no one "learns a lesson." If my conversations with you don't sway your behavior and you reach an extreme, there's nothing I can do. And if it ever reaches that point, I can promise you there were double-digit instances where I either let previous instances slide or talked to that person about it. If you fall into that category and you do something absolutely horrific, my hand has been forced, and you've put me in a situation where I'm left without an option. And that sucks - but it's not my fault. I didn't force you to do it.
You're Not Required to Like Me
And just because I own the place doesn't require you to be nice to me, agree with me, or be my friend. With that in mind, it does require you to do what I ask if you're doing something I don't agree with. Especially if it falls outside the bounds of what most people would consider standard forum etiquette.
As I've mentioned, everyone's different. And we have discussions on here each day that involve a difference of opinions and overall outlooks. That's obviously what makes everything work. Again, staying within the general guidelines of the board is all that's asked. Just don't become an issue or a habitual offender.
The bar is pretty low here, and I think I've always shown all of you in here the respect you've deserved. I truly care about everybody in here, primarily because of our interactions and the community this place has become. I'd like to think I've made it pretty clear based on my track record that the leash is incredibly excessive here and has increased in recent years, despite accusations to the contrary.
I made the analogy in a previous post, but even in instances where I've had drinks thrown in my face while you're in my establishment, I've still done my best to try, and I'll always continue to try, and make things work. If anyone believes I've taken any satisfaction in any of this, especially given the tenures of the people involved, I don't really know what to tell you.
To close this out, I think I've outlined my expectations here. So for the sake of not repeating myself, I feel like I've said about all there is to say. Again, my inbox is always open, but hopefully this has at least cleared some things up.
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