A Sonnet for Josh

[Dingleberry]

I was commissioned to write a sonnet by @PatsFanInVa and figured I would post it here even though our friend in Virginia paid big money for this.

Please feel free to post your own poetry in this thread. Nothing wrong with a little culture. Right? Hello? Aw well.

Love you, Josh! No homo.


When I do count the clock that tells the time,
And see the old GOAT coach begin to fade;
When I behold the onset of past prime,
And yearn for one whose genius is displayed;
Though the glimmer of trophies blind eyes--
And glories outlive this powerful rhyme,
You shall shine more bright in this proud franchise.
From OC to head coach, almost Josh time!
Shall I compare thee to a coach gone gray?
Thou are more youthful and a bit more sprite;
Let not my love be called idolatry
Since all my words and praise extoll your might.
Let's all rejoice Josh, his brains and his beauty
Lest you drown in tears like Drop Kick Flutie.

 

[Dingleberry]

And now a low brow limerick in defense of my guy, Bentley!


A toast to a linebacker named Bentley
Allow me to make this point gently
The hate for him is lame
He must have mistook you for a dame
And finger-banged you evidently.

 

[Pape]

limericks... great... gonna have john valby ditties stuck in my head all night....

 

[Dingleberry]

limericks... great... gonna have john valby ditties stuck in my head all night....

Despite my obviously sophisticated sense of humor, I am a huge Valby fan. Seen him in concert more times than I can count, always front row in front of his piano. He signed one of his CDs for me. "To Dingleberry, **** off, **** face! Love, John Valby."

And yes, I am THE famous man from Nantucket.

 

[Pape]

dam... he wrote you a fuccing book... mine says fu ck off dirtbag, JV

yar yar yayar.... your mother goes down on egyptians... so sing me another verse, worse than the other verse...

 

[Dingleberry]

dam... he wrote you a fuccing book... mine says fu ck off dirtbag, JV

yar yar yayar.... your mother goes down on egyptians... so sing me another verse, worse than the other verse...

And waltz me around by my willie!

 

[DropKickFlutie]

Best called game in 10 weeks.
34 runs to 26 passes is excellent.
The run-heavy and heavy-personnel offense is devastating.
Better late than never.
Should have done this since WEEK1.

 

[DropKickFlutie]

And now a low brow limerick in defense of my guy, Bentley!


A toast to a linebacker named Bentley
Allow me to make this point gently
The hate for him is lame
He must have mistook you for a dame
And finger-banged you evidently.

I don't mind living rent free in your head. I take it as a compliment that you think about me constantly.

Since you brought it up here are 4 total whiffs by Bentley leading to the Browns running at will on their first offensive drive. Luckily they fell behind in the score so stopped running.

Video clip, Browns first drive

 

[Dingleberry]

I don't mind living rent free in your head. I take it as a compliment that you think about me constantly.

Since you brought it up here are 4 total whiffs by Bentley leading to the Browns running at will on their first offensive drive. Luckily they fell behind in the score so stopped running.

Video clip, Browns first drive

Seriously, all in good fun my friend. PatsfaninVa made me write a sonnet in another thread, and I wanted it to be a love sonnet. Your over the top hatred of Josh inspired me. That is all.

Don't get all erectile on me with this rent free stuff. I think that cute saying has jumped the shark. Anyway, if you were in my head, you would go bat shyt crazy. Or bat shyt crazier. Trust me, the voices would haunt you.

Believe it or not, I agree with many of your points. However, cramming McD hate, all the coaches hate, or Bentley hate into EVERY thread is tiresome. And it only takes away from any valid points you make because all it results in are eye rolls.

I dig your passion though.

Now get out of my head, or I will charge rent. And I am a slum lord bastard.

 

[PatsFanInVa]

And as of now, the meter is running. But it sure ain't iambic pentameter

Seriously, your work is underappreciated and overlooked. It is because of you that Seamus Heaney feels overwhelmed by precedent when attempting poetry on the Pats.

 

[Dingleberry]

And as of now, the meter is running. But it sure ain't iambic pentameter

Seriously, your work is underappreciated and overlooked. It is because of you that Seamus Heaney feels overwhelmed by precedent when attempting poetry on the Pats.

Hey, it was a quickie sonnet. Bill Shakespeare won't be looking over his shoulder.

Like a true psycho, I write shyt to make myself laugh. And because of those voices, I am never lonely!

I may just keep bumping this poetry thread with more bad poetry. Or I may get distracted by the next shiny object I see.

 

[PatsFanInVa]

Hey, it was a quickie sonnet. Bill Shakespeare won't be looking over his shoulder.

Like a true psycho, I write shyt to make myself laugh. And because of those voices, I am never lonely!

I may just keep bumping this poetry thread with more bad poetry. Or I may get distracted by the next shiny object I see.

I am all for it and wont be a ***** about meter again

I'm just glad I'm not the only one embarrassing myself in this particular fashion

 

[Dingleberry]

I am all for it and wont be a ***** about meter again

I'm just glad I'm not the only one embarrassing myself in this particular fashion

It is impossible to ever be embarrassed if you don't give a shyt. It has served me well in life.

As soon as I hit Post on this thread, I expected it to go over like a fart at dinner with the in-laws. And I was kind of looking forward to the cat calls.

You better keep embarrassing yourself.

 

[PatsFanInVa]

It is impossible to ever be embarrassed if you don't give a shyt. It has served me well in life.

As soon as I hit Post on this thread, I expected it to go over like a fart at dinner with the in-laws. And I was kind of looking forward to the cat calls.

You better keep embarrassing yourself.

Oh I assure you, of all the calamities that might befall this world, an end to that state of affairs is the least likely.

 

[Bill Lee]

limericks... great... gonna have john valby ditties stuck in my head all night....

There once was a girl named Dot...

 

[mgcolby]

And waltz me around by my willie!

And something I never thought I'd see on here a Valby song. Your sister's in love with a carrot...Your mother swims after troop ships...

 

[signbabybrady]

 

[Dingleberry]

I fear I may turn this classy poetry thread into a John Valby thread. But I had to share one of my favorite Valby knock-knocks about the Patriots. Remember, Valby is from Buffalo.

I heard him do this one some time in the 90's at the Hampton Casino Ballroom.

"Knock knock!"
"Ben Coates"
Ben Coates who?
"Ben coats his **** with Flutie Flakes so Drew Bledsoe can taste what a real Quarterback is like."

Even as a Pats fan, how can you not laugh at that?



@Bill Lee @mgcolby @Pape

 

[Pape]

I fear I may turn this classy poetry thread into a John Valby thread. But I had to share one of my favorite Valby knock-knocks about the Patriots. Remember, Valby is from Buffalo.

I heard him do this one some time in the 90's at the Hampton Casino Ballroom.

"Knock knock!"
"Ben Coates"
Ben Coates who?
"Ben coats his **** with Flutie Flakes so Drew Bledsoe can taste what a real Quarterback is like."

Even as a Pats fan, how can you not laugh at that?

View attachment 37632

@Bill Lee @mgcolby @Pape

♪♪ When I was younger and in my prime, i used to gang bang all the time... now im older and my hair is grey, i only gang bang once a day...

"Knock Knock!!
Who's there??
Giselle!
Giselle Who??
Giselle Bundchens her hair at the back of her head, and gets to work at the gangbang"

 

[Bill Lee]

Your sister's in love with a carrot...Your mother swims after troop ships...

Ya mama's so dry, the crabs carry canteens...