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What else will the media and NFL blame the Patriots for?


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Chris Mortenson reports that 11 of 12 apostles were significantly deflated after Bill Belichick ordered Jesus' death.
 
According to sources are renowned Manhattan medium has spoken to the spirit of Arlen Specter and has been discovered that the Patriots served Donovan McNabb the meal directly before the Super Bowl which resulted in his indigestion
 
They are not just sucking his ass. THEY ARE SUCKING A LOT MORE!!
I think someone's confusing what gets sucked and what gets kissed...but his heart was in the right place...presumably neither sucking nor kissing.
 
ESPN is now reporting that Ernie Adams Is the Lindberg baby and that BB father kidnapped him and raised him to be an evil football genius.
 
Report: Woman dead of overdose found in home bought by Irsay
 
They will be blamed for Peyton Manning's sexual assault where he pulled down his pants and forcefully sat naked on a female trainer's face

Imagine if Peyton actually did that? o_O
 
Pretty sure Belichick knows what happened to Jimmy Hoffa. I'm not saying it's true, but I heard it from this guy.

He said that Bill has a video tape of his last known whereabouts.....it has to be true.

Everybody knows where Jimmy Hoffa resides. He is in a concrete footing of the OLD Giants/Jet stadium.
You might say he is a Foundation and Pillar of of the community!
 
The Patriots are behind all the hypocricy and turmoil in the world. Anyone who's played Metal Gear Solid should know this.
 
Belichick is actually Kim Jung-un.
Think about it...have you ever seen a picture of them together in the same place?
 
Climate change, duh.
 
Other things the Pats are responsible for:
  • Ishtar
  • New Coke
  • The Sack of Constantinople
  • Miley Cyrus's "career"
  • Roanoke Island
  • The Hindenberg disaster
  • The "dream season" on Dallas
  • The defenestration of Prague
  • Selecting Qatar for the 2022 World Cup
  • The Spanish Inquisition
 
Because this is a media thread....felger STILL harping on dorito Dink's text messages...
 
Ok guys I use to be a low level staffer at the pats so I know everything that goes on there.

First of all BB had me fired because I once saw him smile so all of this is fact and not me being bitter about anything.

BB launched the comet that wiped out the dinosaurs. There was a tape of this but Gooddell has destroyed it.

BB was the snake that told eve to eat the apple.

BB asked for all Jewish born males foreskins it was to make 100 million sleeveless hoodies.

BB knows what's missing on the watergate tape he did have it recorded but Gooddell destroyed it. Earnie Adams however used his photographic memory to transcribe it.

BB has stopped us making hover boards that were first show in the Back to the future series. They could actually be made in the 80's

He planned and executed every political assassination in history.

He was the second shooter it was on tape but Goodell destroyed it.

Tom Brady is a lizard person.

Tom is having marriage issues because he slept with Beyoncé and Jay Z at the same time, this wasn't an issue for Giselle it was her lack of invite.

BB organised 9/11 so people would believe them winning the Super Bowl that year was fate.

BB can eat a fruit pastel without chewing.

BB is the head of ISIS

BB recorded the Rams walk through there was a recording of him recording it. Gooddell could never find the tape to prove what he recorded so he destroyed this tape.

BB trains the CIA in espionage.

Tom Bradys real name is James Bond if you look closely it's and anagram. This is why he's a world class spy.

Sheldon Cooper feels his intellect is lower than BBs

Jack Bauer retired because the CTU came up against the patriots

BB causes the toilets in the Southern Hemisphere flush in the opposite direction.

BB is why black coaches can't get jobs

BB actually masterminded the Saint bountygate scheme.

BB can make an onion cry there was a video but Goodell destroyed it.

And finally one time Chuck Norris was at Gillette and BB walked by and Chuck started to cry in fear.

I think that's a full list but if my totally happy with being fired mind remembers anything else I'll let you all know.
 
Belichick is the real Heisenberg.
 
Their is a rumor that the Patriots are the reason that we have not been able to find life beyond Earth.
 
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