My Holiday Wish List

I was sitting around the other day pondering life during this Christmas season and trying to figure out what I could give you, my beloved loyal readers, for a gift this year. After thinking that a Jelly-of-the-Month subscription for all of you could start to add up quite quickly, I settled on a column chock-full of Zingers for your dining and dancing pleasure.

Such random thoughts columns are an easy out for a columnist and I?m no different, so here goes:

This Christmas, I would like to give:

To my wife: My appreciation for the wonderful mother that you are to our children and your continued understanding of my football affliction.

To my two children: The hope that you know that your dad loves you with all of his heart and that you are the greatest joy in his life.

To my dad: Many more games and high fives together in Section 327.

To my brother: Improved health so that we can go to Pats games once again and share memories together like we did during the Raiders game in the snow or the Titans game in the cold again.

To my biggest fan, my mom: Among other things, thanks for all those hot meals after home games and before my drive back up to Maine on Sunday nights.

To my grandfather in Norwood and my grandmother in Florida: The knowledge that your enthusiasm for life will always be a part of me.

To all of my tailgating buddies (yes, even Mark and Joe): The knowledge that I wouldn?t trade you guys for anything including a deep threat at wide receiver.

To all of my editors, fellow writers and especially Mr. Patsfans.com himself, Ian: Appreciation for all of your positive support of my writing in the last year.

To Yankee Candle: The pinache to come out with a Gillette Stadium-Men?s-Room-At-Halftime fragrance next holiday season. I?m confident that it will easily outsell ?Home for the Holidays.?

To the Gillette Stadium Facilities Department: A slew of signs asking patrons not to move into or out of an aisle during the action.

To Dave and Bill at Comdoctor in Augusta, my gratitude for sponsoring my column on Patsfans.com and ensuring that the hamster stays on the wheel inside my desktop computer.

To my three Thursday night golfing partners: Thanks for putting up with my weekly Phillie Blunt watermelon-flavored cigar and incessant chatter about ?using every club in the bag, undulating greens, and dialing in my short game.?

To Terrell Owens: Some humility.

On to other subjects:

During last Sunday?s blowout, I started to let my eyes wander and caught the following heart-melting scene a few rows in front of me: Just before the game, a patient older father helped guide his adult son afflicted with MS down the aisle to their seats. As the blowout ensued and the unseasonably warm weather made for a beautiful day, the father?s satisfying smile during the time they were spending together would have made even Terrell Owens well up and reach for some sunglasses.

It occurred to me that my golf game is a lot like Ben Watson. That is pockets of brilliance interspersed with maddening inconsistency. To which my buddy Tom replied, ?If you?re Ben Watson, then I?m Bethel Johnson. I?m only good for one play a season.?

Did the zone blitz go the way of Y2K?

How lucky have we been in Patriots Nation? Since 1994, the team has had a winning record eight of the 13 seasons. And since 2001, they are the only team to amass nine or more wins in every season.

Heading into this weekend, only eight of the 32 teams have been eliminated from playoff contention.

Old favorite Ray ?Sugar Bear? Hamilton is the defensive line coach for the Jaguars.

Through 14 games this season, the Patriots defense has held opponents to 13.79 points per game (ppg). The team record is 14.88 ppg in the Super Bowl XXXIII campaign of 2003.

The laundry list of complaints about the NFL Network carrying actually worthy games is long and let?s add this one to it: The lack of Saturday late-season games over free television is awful. It?s great to have a game going on in the background as you run around on these usually busy days of the year.

All the best to you, my readers, at this time of year. I love doing this column because of you.