Zeus

1. Lots of sloppy football Sunday. First prize goes to the Browns use of the Pick Your Nose and Eat It While Watching the Cheerleaders on the Sidelines Defense against the Bengals. The new alignment allows the team to remain comfortably in ensconced the defensive huddle while offensive players scamper down the field toward the end zone. This is consistent with the league-wide emphasis on reducing injuries.

2. Heard Jim Nantz lamely going on about how the Steelers-Ravens rivalry is the best in the NFL. Now if by rivalry you mean the trash-talking, after-the-whistle cheap-shotting nonsense we saw Sunday, then that's about right.

3. The true measure of Fat Rex's popularity as a coach is how much opposing players and teams like to give him presents. It's remarkable just how often the jets have benefitted from the largesse of their competitors over the last three years. This started with the undefeated Colts laying down at the end of the 2009 season and continued through 2010 when the Vikings, Lions, Browns and Texans handed wins to the green turds (not to mention Jim Caldwell's curious clock management at the end of the jets-Colts wild card play-off game). Now comes the Sunday night debacle against Dallas. Do the jets exude an aura (possibly highly volatile foot odor) that causes opponents to suffer sudden unexplained brain cramps? Or does the league have a secret rule that requires opponents of Commissioner Blockhead's favorite team to make repeated mind-numbingly stupid mistakes whenever playing the jets? This can't be just a coincidence.

4. Quick - who knows more about football: Tony Romo or Jessica Simpson? Pick your favorite RomoMoment from his Sunday night spent in the gift-wrapping department.

a) The ill-advised sprint to the goal line with the ball held (not so securely) away from his body.
b) The inexplicably dumb throw into triple coverage (and directly into the hands of Revis) with less than a minute left?
c) Tony's arm-around-the-shoulder-heart-to-heart stroll with Dez Bryant after the big interception in an apparent attempt to convince drunk and/or otherwise stupid viewers that the play was somehow Bryant's fault?
d) Tony's good-natured giggling fit that followed the premature snap of the ball on the game's next-to-last play? (That was pretty funny. Maybe a practical joke by the center?)

Anyway, Tony's act is getting pretty stale by now. The Vote of Confidence by Jerry Jones is just one more bad game away from becoming The Kiss of Death.

5. In a weird and creepy way, Cowboy coach Jason Garrett looks like Cowboy owner Jerry Jones. Any chance that Garrett is the product of a youthful indiscretion on JJ's part? After all, the NFL has historically been rife with nepotism and inbreeding (see Brown, Mike - Cincinnati Bengals).

6. Cam Newton? Wow! Maybe the best part was just how pissed he was that the Panthers lost the game. Let's see what happens once defensive coordinators get some film on him, but that was a remarkable opening performance.

7. Lots of discussion about the significance of the use of Ochocinco (18 plays) and Spikes (healthy inactive). Maybe it's wishful thinking on my part, but could it be that they were written out of the game plan? The offense featured the TEs. On D, we didn't need a banger in the middle against Reggie Bush. Maybe they didn't play much because - this week - they weren't needed. Patriots won, so it doesn't matter to me who played and who didn't. Still, both players would be well advised to deactivate their Twitter accounts. ASAP.

8. Speaking of Reggie Bush, it was barely halfway through Q1 when Jaws said that the "Reggie-as-a-full-time-back" experiment seemed to be going quite well. Really, Jaws? Really?

9. Fat Rex predicted 90-100 catches for Derrick Mason this season. Sunday's totals: 3 catches for 19 yards. If the jets do feature the creaky Mason as their go-to receiver, either he'll end up in a full body cast by week 4 or he'll be murdered in his sleep by Santonio (the Sociopath) Holmes. However, Plexiglass did "take over" the game in Q4 (according to Chris Collingsworth) against the parking lot attendants and beer vendors the Cowboys recruited once their top three CBs were gone. He was dominant. (Sigh.)

10. Overreaction Department: Watch the members of The Sporting Press fall all over themselves predicting a Bills-Bears Super Bowl. Yeah, the Bills stomped the bejeezus out of the hapless ("they hate their coach") Chiefs and the Bears ran it up against the presumptive Super Bowl Champion Falcons (who, confused by the post-lockout schedule, believed Sunday to be the final preseason game). But that's just week one. As Brent Musburger would say, there's a long way to go, folks.

11. By the way, "no huddle" didn't do the NE offense justice. Maybe "fast break" is more apt.

12. In any event, time to pack up the coolers and light up the grills. We're headed to Foxboro on Sunday. Let the good times roll.

The-Hooded-One

In his power rankings Don Banks says he thinks the Patriots warp speed no-huddle will become one of the biggest stories of the early season. Right now I want to agree with him, but we'll see what they do against San Diego's very good D.

PatsWickedPissah

Humor and insight, a great post sadly ignored while everyone piles on in the noise that is the Bruschi fuster cluck.

Especially agree #7 that spikes (cover Bush? Don't think so!) and 85 (six weeks in read Brady's checkoffs and re-route in real time) were victims of a brilliant pre-game game plan.

__________________
Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded — here and there, now and then — are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty.
This is known as "bad luck." RAH

BelizePats

Nice work Zeus. Intelligent and funny. I almost missed this thread and am glad that I found it. Please do this every week if you have the time.
Respects,

Rich

patsox23

Bump worthy...

Crazy Patriot Guy

This deserves to be at the top of the page.

Zeus, I hope you don't mind but I'd like to add a #13 to your list.

13. Considering the personnel we've had in the secondary in recent history, am I the only one that almost peed on himself from the sound of Jaworski saying we have big CBs?

livinginthe past

Good stuff, Zeus

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"I gave George Allen an unlimited budget", Edward Bennett, the principal owner of the Redskins, said a few weeks after hiring Allen, "and he's already exceeded it."

Patriot_in_NY

Thread of the week so far...... Nicely done.

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Patroit_in_NY is now Patriot_in_ABQ

hyperpat

Very well done, Zeus. Funny and insightful. Hope you are able to keep doing "This and That" posts.

borg

I agree....Zeus...tremendous effort. I hope you continue this on a weekly basis. Get Ian to hire you....You should be writing for paychecks.

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"In the end, Belichick juiced Moss like an orange, and once all the good pulp was squeezed, he tossed Moss aside. "


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