He Ban Me

Were you guys aware of this??


http://forums.theganggreen.com/showp...4&postcount=19



ATTENTION PEOPLE: As a result of recent events, there are going to be a few changes around this here National Football League. You all brought this on yourselves.

Effective immediately, the New England Patriots will no longer be known as the New England Patriots, but the New England Awesomes. Along those same lines, Robert and Jonathan Kraft will now be known as Robert Awesome and Jonathan Awesome.

Tom Brady will be known now as Hunky McFabulous, and he'll be throwing footballs this season to Randy Mawesome.

Tedy Bruschi's name will still be Tedy Bruschi - but so will yours.

Touchdowns will still be known as touchdowns, except when scored by the New England Awesomes, in which case they will be referred to as: "Of Courses." Fieldgoals will be worth seven points for the New England Awesomes, since they would have probably scored an Of Course if they really felt like it.

National Football League schedulers will be be revising the schedule to reflect that the New England Awesomes will play who they want, when they want, and where they want, and they will be on National television at all times. They will preempt whatever non-New England Awesome show is wasting everyone's time in that slot. Games won't just be limited to other NFL teams. Don't be surprised if your doorbell rings and you find the New England Awesomes out on your front porch ready to play, and CBS is trying to figure out how to hang a camera from your neighbor's cupola. Nor should you be surprised if, during the bye-week, the New England Awesomes conquer Liechtenstein just for fun.

In honor of this new arrangement, GIllette will announce a new razor - their third new one this week - and, thankfully, their last new razor ever. The new Gillette Awesome will look suspiciously like a plain ol' wooden stick, but when you hold it up to your face, the hair is mysteriously scared right down the sink. Don't even think about shaving your junk with this.


And remember, people, you asked for all this.
__________________

A.C Vegas

someone had too much time and bitterness on there hands (not you he ban me)

__________________
Beware of the MBWC (Media Brain Washing Conspericy) the only known way to stay safe is to read at least one thread here a day. You have been warned.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Onion See Wes [Welker], here, the man with the honor of being my chauffeur? This resourceful bastard actually beat me home, so it's not like it can't be done.

Scott37

That's just perfect!

__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

brady199

Awesome!!!

zippo59

That's more like it.

I'm glad people are beginning to understand.

__________________
"What Tom Brady just did gives me goose bumps."-John Madden after final drive in SB 36


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Unofficial Kevin Faulk supporter.

He Ban Me

I'm glad you are taking it with a grain of salt. I thought it was kinda funny myself, but hoping no one would be offended and start flaming. Looks like the Pats MAY just have taken some of the SB winning pressure off the Colts!

PatsFanInVa

God this is a great time to be alive.

PFnV

spacecrime

I have to echo brady199: AWESOME.

This is a pretty funny piece. The TV paragraph was just goofy and dragged, but the rest was just, well, awesome.

My favorite was that the NEAs (New England Awesomes) will get 7 points for a field goal because obviously they could have scored an Of Course if they wanted to.

For another very funny take on the Pats off-season, check out Bob Kravitz's column in the Indy Star from about last week.

I'm really glad to see Jets and Colts fans getting tired of the talking heads proclaiming the Pats the next superbowl winners, especially Colts fans. Gives them a taste of how we felt the past few years. They are already hearing the you've-lost-too-many-key-players-to-compete talk (including from me), and if the Colts win the SB in 2007 by drubbing the Pats along the way, and the media still proclaims the Pats the team to beat, then they will truly understand.

Wow, I am so looking forward to this season. How great is it that we get to play the Colts and the Chargers?

He Ban Me

Good take, I'm glad the round robin is in place as well (including the Dirty Birds). Please don't try and sell that Indy crap though. The "no respect" card is lame too!

But what's past is past. Enjoy the BULLSEYE!!!!!!

363839

Oh, that post was sarcasm!?!