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OT: Unintentional Manning Joke.... OT: Unintentional Manning Joke....
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Old 06-13-2006, 01:51 PM   #1
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Default OT: Unintentional Manning Joke....
So a poster on the Indy board starts a thread:

Quote:
Jesus worked as a blue collar carpenter.
Manning wears a blue uniform at work.

Jesus said "break this bread."
Manning said "Cut that meat."

Jesus was the son of God.
Manning is the son of a Saint.

Jesus was part of the Trinity.
Manning is part of the Triplets.


I am working on this list as a parody. Can anyone add any more?
And the first reply he gets back is:
Quote:
Jesus never won a Super Bowl.............
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Old 06-13-2006, 02:18 PM   #2
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yeah but Jesus never threw his linemen under the bus either... although I recall an old legend concerning the Buddha's beautiful spiral passes
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Old 06-13-2006, 02:53 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by BruschiOnTap
yeah but Jesus never threw his linemen under the bus either... although I recall an old legend concerning the Buddha's beautiful spiral passes
"I'm trying to be a good Messiah here, but let's just say we had some protection problems among the twelve ... " *looks at Judas*
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Old 06-13-2006, 03:05 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PlattsFan
"I'm trying to be a good Messiah here, but let's just say we had some protection problems among the twelve ... " *looks at Judas*
oh... tears down the face.
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Old 06-13-2006, 03:39 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PlattsFan
"I'm trying to be a good Messiah here, but let's just say we had some protection problems among the twelve ... " *looks at Judas*
That's some good stuff right there. Thanks for the chuckle.
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Old 06-13-2006, 04:04 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PlattsFan
"I'm trying to be a good Messiah here, but let's just say we had some protection problems among the twelve ... " *looks at Judas*
I stand corrected! you've found the Gospel of Peyton
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Old 06-13-2006, 04:08 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PlattsFan
"I'm trying to be a good Messiah here, but let's just say we had some protection problems among the twelve ... " *looks at Judas*
Very funny! Got a great laugh out of that one... my coworkers probably suspect I am listening to Larry the Cable guy or something... that was earlier.


That must make the Patriots the Romans since we crucify the Colts when we play them.

Jesus healed a man with seizures before hiking to his next sermon
Manning goes into seizures before hiking the ball

Jesus told the people that he would rebuild the temple in 3 days
Manning told Polian that he would have to rebuild the defense with 3 dollars

Jesus calmed the storm and stopped the winds on the red sea
Manning can't do anything unless he is in a climate controlled wind-free dome

Jesus walked on water
ESPN *thinks* Manning walks on water

Jesus said we should turn the other cheek
Manning just turns the ball over

Jesus turned water into wine
Manning turns the ball over, then whines

Jesus rode into Jerusalem on an A_S_S on Palm Sunday
Manning gets put on his every Sunday
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Old 06-13-2006, 04:20 PM   #8
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Getting prepared to be crucified by the Colts fans when he chokes again next year.
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Last edited by Willie55; 06-13-2006 at 04:22 PM..
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Old 06-13-2006, 04:30 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd_Christmas
Very funny! Got a great laugh out of that one... my coworkers probably suspect I am listening to Larry the Cable guy or something... that was earlier.


That must make the Patriots the Romans since we crucify the Colts when we play them.

Jesus healed a man with seizures before hiking to his next sermon
Manning goes into seizures before hiking the ball

Jesus told the people that he would rebuild the temple in 3 days
Manning told Polian that he would have to rebuild the defense with 3 dollars

Jesus calmed the storm and stopped the winds on the red sea
Manning can't do anything unless he is in a climate controlled wind-free dome

Jesus walked on water
ESPN *thinks* Manning walks on water

Jesus said we should turn the other cheek
Manning just turns the ball over

Jesus turned water into wine
Manning turns the ball over, then whines

Jesus rode into Jerusalem on an A_S_S on Palm Sunday
Manning gets put on his every Sunday
OMG.....That is the funniest thing ever!
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Old 06-13-2006, 04:43 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd_Christmas
Very funny! Got a great laugh out of that one... my coworkers probably suspect I am listening to Larry the Cable guy or something... that was earlier.


That must make the Patriots the Romans since we crucify the Colts when we play them.

Jesus healed a man with seizures before hiking to his next sermon
Manning goes into seizures before hiking the ball

Jesus told the people that he would rebuild the temple in 3 days
Manning told Polian that he would have to rebuild the defense with 3 dollars

Jesus calmed the storm and stopped the winds on the red sea
Manning can't do anything unless he is in a climate controlled wind-free dome

Jesus walked on water
ESPN *thinks* Manning walks on water

Jesus said we should turn the other cheek
Manning just turns the ball over

Jesus turned water into wine
Manning turns the ball over, then whines

Jesus rode into Jerusalem on an A_S_S on Palm Sunday
Manning gets put on his every Sunday
Those are hard to beat, but another take on the water one:

Jesus walked on water.
During a pass rush, Manning passes water.

Some very good parables you had there, to use a "biblical" word.
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