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First thing you must do is get rid of that second and third chin. Women don't dig that. You can also elevate your game with a more prestigious career than the one you currently have. This requires going back to school and earning a more meaningful degree. The last part is crucial - you need to...

Don't be upset that even my side piece is out of your league, squirt. I'm sure you'll work your way up to my level some day. I've got faith in you, grasshopper.

Absolutely nothing wrong with having a main chick as well as a secret side piece to add some spice here and there. Diversification is important. You just gotta be more discrete about it than Earl was.

Make sure to remind them that their head coach and their franchise have never beaten NE in the postseason.

Imagine the possibility of tanking even crossing your mind when you've got Bill 8 Rings coaching your squad.

Those two others were just as impressive. The Giants won those SBs entirely on the back of his dominant defense that smacked around the likes of Joe Montana and that high powered Bills offense. What a career he's had. The GOAT will never be touched.

8 - Bill Belichick has 8 Super Bowl Rings, along with a Super Bowl winning gameplan that is currently sitting in the HOF.

This is the only QB Bill will even entertain to bring in to start over Studham. Sometimes you just have to make exceptions for a once in a lifetime talent.

There are some who actually believe Bill will sign Andy Dalton when he's got Studham on the roster? Jarrett is about to take over the kingdom, and he will remember all of the doubters.

Poor bastard fell victim to arbitrary age of consent laws.

The best of all time is about to become a Patriot in the near future.

Pretty impressive that this passing offense ranked as high as it did with the obvious limitation that they were anchored by last season. Speaks to the brilliant minds of McDaniels and Belichick. With the additions made this past weekend, and youthful talent at QB, this should be an improved unit...

A+ Just another in a long line of vintage dominant Bill Belichick draft days, which comes as a surprise to absolutely no one.

Another dominant draft by Belichick, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, and we're not even halfway through yet.

Another fantastic pick by 8 Ring Bill. He's 2/2 tonight. Uche is going to be an absolute wrecking ball in pass defense. Can rush the passers-by and cover. The GOAT dribbling his glorious nuts all over the faces of the lesser 31.

This guy is a physically imposing monster who is extremely versatile. He's going to be a key piece of the defense/ST for many years to come. You'll all bend the knee in due time, like you always do.

This is a top 5 favorite Belichick pick of all time for me, only behind Seymour, Asante Samuel, Devin Mccourty, and Ty Warren.

Kyle Dugger. Exactly the guy I wanted.

All this speculation about Rodgers being gay. Let's say he is. If we have to send one of you guys to "entice" him to come here, so be it. We will go to any lengths for the best QB who has ever played the position. Sometimes you just gotta suck a little d!ck for greatness.