As The Ball Bounces: Divisional

Bob George

Jan 14, 2003 at 5:00am ET

So Joe Nedney wants to become an actor. Sorry, but not even a visit from Thespis could help this sad sack of a kicker. His questionable candor aside, his unbelievably lousy kicking at the end of the Pittsburgh game on Saturday set the art of kicking back 50 years. We'll be generous and say that he's pretending to kickoff. The imaginary ball sails wide right and goes out of bounds at the 35. Man, this guy really pulled it. And no one "ran" into him, either.

What must Adam Vinatieri think of Nedney?

All of a sudden, people think the officiating is bad in the NFL.

Patriot Nation knows better. It's been bad for at least 25 years.

Two words: Ben Dreith.

Two more words: Fred Silva.

I don't agree with comparing Chad Pennington to Opie Taylor.

Macaulay Culkin is more like it.

But on Sunday, he actually threw like Opie.

Everyone is putting together their favorite Super Bowl matchups.

The most popular one right now is Tampa Bay and Oakland.

Ooooh. Jon Gruden and his former team.

Pirates versus…pirates!

How much do pirates sell ears of corn for? Simple. A buccaneer.

Oakland and Philadelphia reprises Super Bowl XV.

You remember. Rich Gannon, Jerry Rice and Tim Brown all played in that game.

You actually believe me?

Al Davis is really a holdover from that game.

And Paul Tagliabue will hate handing Davis a Vince as much as Pete Rozelle did.

Tennessee is as un-sexy as it gets.

Unless they keep replaying the final play of Super Bowl XXXIV.

One yard. One damn lousy yard.

Believe it or not, here is what the sexiest Super Bowl matchup would have been, but can no longer happen.

Jets and Bucs.

Keyshawn versus Chrebet.

Throw me the damn ball.

And all those nice things Keyshawn said about Wayne.

Geek of the Week: Bill Cowher. First, let's learn about losing with dignity. Second, let's understand that your team is not as good as you and your fans think it is.

But if Pittsburgh ever gets themselves a real quarterback, with all those receivers they have, look out.

Michael Vick will be back.

Soon.

Honk if you know the name of the head coach of the Oakland Raiders.

Whatever Eddie George has, he needs to get rid of it by Sunday.

If he sits this Sunday, his whole team sits the following Sunday.

Andy Reid? Coach of the Year? Yup.

Tennessee can beat tough playoff opponents on the road. Ask Tom Coughlin.

And that was just three years ago, meaning that many of those guys are still around.

Remember him: Mike Renfro, a decent wideout for the Houston Oilers, who scored a touchdown against Pittsburgh in the 1979 playoffs. Oh, that's right, the 1979 version of bad officiating ruled no touchdown despite both feet being in bounds. Wonder if this guy had any rooting interest in Saturday's Titans game?

Joe Buck needs more than Troy Aikman and Cris Collinsworth next year.

Which begs the question: What harm would it have been to try and pair him with John Madden?

Sure sign of trouble in Philadelphia: Tampa Bay can't move the ball, no matter who plays quarterback.

Did you all know that someone is pushing a lawsuit in San Diego regarding the handling of disabled persons at Qualcomm Stadium that could lead to an injunction for the Super Bowl to either be delayed or simply not take place?

With no disrespect to disabled people, if they win that suit, I'm the Queen of England.

If the AFC title game comes down to placekicking, the Raiders have a bigger edge than the Harlem Globetrotters over the Washington Generals.

With that, here are our conference championship prognostications.

Be it Brad or Rob, neither Johnson will produce.

At least not well enough to counter Donovan or Duce.

Oh, those crazy fans of the Silver and Black.

The Titans will cause them to be taken aback.

These are all Bob G's takes, never afraid to eat crow.

But Will's were better ones; sadly, those we'll never know.