As The Ball Bounces: Week 17

Bob George

Jan 2, 2003 at 5:00am ET

I always wondered why Miami got rid of Pete Stoyanovich. But give Olindo Mare credit, he has had a great career, by gum. The incredibly reliable kicker puts it on the tee, and boots it deep. Whoops, it goes out of bounds at the 4. Illegal procedure. Patriots’ ball at the 40. Sorry, couldn’t resist.

I’m going to take a year and think this parity thing over, and I’ll get back to you next year.

Hate the Jets all you want, but they won the division by being the right now team instead of the right team.

It was true poetic justice for the Packers to fall all the way to the three seed.

The offense has needs, yes, but the Patriots ought to spend both first rounders on defensive linemen. Get one who can rush, and one who can stop the run.

The run stopper can also be a middle linebacker, by the way.

If you find “class act” in the dictionary, under it you’ll see a picture of Washington’s Darrell Green.

Both New York teams are in the playoffs for the first time since the Sack Exchange days.

Anyone astonished that Saints coach Jim Haslett was as upset as he was? You would be torqued off also, if your team blew its season by losing to Cincinnati and Carolina.

Cleveland’s in, Baltimore is not, and all is finally well in Cuyahoga County this evening.

Geek of the Week: Miami offensive coordinator Norv Turner. How do you not run Ricky Williams?

Here’s to the Titans. May they get that one yard this year.

Hah. The NFL may be headed back to court again, and naturally the reason is Duane Charles Parcells.

You can hear Eagle fans screaming for joy all over the world.

You have to figure that if the military ever needed something kicked at a particular target, President Bush would get on the phone and give Bob Kraft a call. Only one man for that job, Dubya.

Back to school: Hats off to Katie Hnida, who by attempting an extra point in the Las Vegas Bowl on Christmas Day against UCLA, became the first woman to play in a Division I-A college football game. Usually when a kicker attempts a kick, your heart stops, not goes pitter-patter.

Speaking of the fairer sex, whatever became of Kendra Wecker, that young lady from Kansas with a howitzer of an arm who won the PP&K competition at Foxborough Stadium during the AFC Championship Game against Jacksonville in ’96?

Back To School II: Good for Pete Carroll, whose USC Trojans became Orange Bowl champs with a 38-17 win over Iowa. He is exactly where he needs to be, and continued best wishes to him.

Somehow, it just seems wrong to fire Tom Coughlin.

Carson Palmer? Byron Leftwich? Brad Banks? Cincinnati, who has the top pick in the draft, could use a good quarterback with that pick. So watch them trade it down for two sixth rounders and a seventh.

And if Charlie Weis takes the Bengals coaching job, it will underscore his desire to get his stomach stapled. He really was that desperate to become a head man.

Did you listen to Bill Belichick’s press conference on Monday? If you read this writer’s postgame report following the Denver loss, it pretty much says the same thing regarding what is wrong with the Patriots.

How could anyone not vote for the Patriots winning the Super Bowl as the top Boston sports story for 2002? Just wanted to see how everyone feels about Ted Williams at the moment.

New over-under at Las Vegas: How many months Parcells will last as Cowboys head coach.

Oh, and don’t read too much into the Dallas-New England matchup next year. As long as Curtis Martin still wears their uniform, the Jets are still the grundge of all Patriot opponents.

Why can’t HDTV sets be under $500 right now instead of maybe two years down the road?

Remember him: Randy Rasmussen, a guard who played in the first Jets-Colts postseason clash in the third annual Big Show. He played on well into the 1970s, and everyone enjoyed that he was the “last link to Super Bowl III” for many years.

So, how do all your Super Bowl XXXVI tapes and DVDs look today, now that they aren’t the champs anymore?

Tom Brady played with a separated shoulder, and nobody knew. Oooh, tough guy. Let’s keep him.

Don Shula. Ted Marchibroda. Jim Mora. Now Tony Dungy. Know who was the only head coach in Colts history who actually did manage to do well in the postseason? The late Don McCafferty, the winning coach in Super Bowl V.

And he won it thanks to a late field goal. Sound familiar?

I tell you what. Let’s let Patriot Nation vote on who the Patriots should take at 14. That’s the Bledsoe compensation pick. Then nobody will scream at Belichick for draft stupidity, and we’ll all feel better that good, solid closure was gained from trading The Former Franchise.

Speaking of the draft, locking up Scott Pioli was a good thing.

Locking up Tebucky Jones might be a good thing.

Locking up Antowain Smith might not have been a good thing.

Honk if remember what team Shawn Jefferson plays for.

Hint: Root for his team to defeat the lunkheads who laid an egg in the Meadowlands on Sunday.

That said, here’s how this weekend should turn out.

Without Couch, from the playoffs Cleveland bolts.

Indy will make the Jets look like Dolts.

Falcons will learn it takes more than just Vick.

Giants will exit the playoffs incredibly quick.

And he said once again ere he drove out of sight,

Happy New Year to all, and your team’s still all right.