Zeus

1. Despite numerous well documented and thoroughly discussed shortcomings, the 2011 Patriots have proven to be a resilient bunch. For the first six minutes last week, the Dream Time physically overpowered NE, dominating both sides of the ball and outgaining the Patriots 139-9 while jumping to a quick 10-0 lead. There's not a lot of teams who could maintain their poise as well as NE did last week, especially on the road. At that point in the game, I can't imagine a lot of people saw a New England blow-out coming. Video of the game will reside at the BB Bend But Don't Break Museum in perpetuity.

2. This week, the traveling freak show known as the Indianapolis Colts rolls into town on four flat tires. The positive feelings from the Colts stellar performance during the bye week (undefeated!) have dissipated quickly in the wake of last week's ritual stomping at the hands of the Carolina juggernaut. Well, I guess enough is enough, even for the Colt Idiot Brain Trust (Irsay Jr., NaPolians I and II). Now is the time for The Unholy Trinity to take decisive action, to wit:

1) bench QB Curtis (Cotton Eye Joe) Painter;
2) fire defensive coordinator Larry Coyer;
3) slash the pay/ benefits of the little old ladies with the funny hair nets who work in the cafeteria;
4) beat up third graders at school bus stops and steal their lunch money;
5) kick family dog and set cat on fire;
6) run over Indianapolis Star columnist Bob Kravitz with team snowplow.

None of this is expected to make any difference whatsoever other than to make NaPolian I feel better, for ten minutes or so. Anger management counseling may well be in order here.

3. It's old news now, but I still can't believe the Colts passed on Kyle Orton. It must be galling to proud veterans such as Saturday, Wayne, Freeney and Mathis to have team management out-and-out tank the season in such a public and blatant fashion. And just where the hell is Commissioner Dudley Do-Right while the Colts are defrauding the fans, networks and sponsors by only pretending to play football?

4. This Gives Me a Headache Dept - For the second time this season, Steeler safety (and Head & Shoulders spokes-do) Troy Polumalu was forced to leave a game with "concussion-like symptoms." Let's see - guy gets smashed in the head, is disoriented and unsteady on his feet. Not a concussion though. Nope. Concussion-like symptoms. No problem. Send him back out there next week. It's not altogether clear that the Steelers got the e-mails about player safety and the terrible danger posed by repeated blows to the head.

5. This Gives Me an Even BIGGER Headache Dept - It was bad enough to watch the Bills gift-wrap the game for the jets last week. But, why oh why, in the name of all that is decent, must we be subjected to that flagrant jet homer and disgusting pervert-clad-in-dainty-undergarments Marv (Bite Me) Albert? My personal disgust reached its pinnacle when Bite Me went on and on about how if the Eagles beat the Patriots later in the day (please, please, please let the Eagles win and I promise I'll stop wearing crotchless panties in the broadcast booth!!!), then the jets would be just one measly game behind NE (tiebreakers be damned). Jesus. Anyone who didn't take a shower immediately after being exposed to that will need years of intensive psychotherapy.

6. Fat Rex Declares War on Gastric Lap Band - Rex required medical attention at the Denver airport due to indigestion caused by the cosmic battle between his no doubt gargantuan post-game (goddam) snack and the aforementioned (and, let's face it, frankly overmatched) lap band. Rex thought that after the surgery, he could still consume 8-10,000 calories per day and lose weight. No wonder he still looks like an aircraft carrier.

7. Anyone who thinks that teams are not as adept as they should be at evaluating player talent might consider the curious cases of Ndamukong (A Boy Named) Suh, Chris Johnson, and Peyton Hillis. Based on their performances in 2010, anyone would have wanted these guys on their team. Based on what's happened in 2011, not so much. There are many variables - a lack of discipline, a change in attitude after receiving a big contract, or the slightest loss of desire or competitive will can make all the difference in the world.

8. So the Patriots have far and away the easiest remaining schedule in the history of the universe? No so fast. Pats' remaining opponents (18-37) are pretty comparable to the Ravens (19-36). The Steelers (26-27) are at a disadvantage, mostly because they play the 49ers instead of the woebegone Colts.

9. Those who (perhaps correctly) like to harp on the Patriots' defensive inadequacies often point out that NE has given up a league worst 58 pass plays of 20 yards or longer (GB is second worst with 47). What is not often mentioned is that NE has only given up only four plays of 40 yards or longer (third best in the league) and two of those happened in the first six minutes of last week's game! That, my friends, is Bend But Don't Break. As they say, you never see yards gained or allowed up on the scoreboard. All that matters is points.

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"And the anger and the yearning, like fever in my veins, set the fire burning ..." WZ

jmt57

Another great column Zeus.

Keep 'em coming, they're very enjoyable reads.

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RelocatedPatFan

Am I allow to post the lyrics to the song they made up for him ('tis the season) called Walkin' in womans underwear? If not, it's worth a search.
Did his twin experience the pain as well?

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Don't let a small thing like Facts get in the way of a good opinion.

Fencer

That would be by the Capitol Steps.

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"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness." -- Oscar Wilde

TB146

I just realized the other day that Adam 'Pacman' Jones is still in the league. I had completely forgotten about him. He went from constant on-field and/or off-field headlines to no headlines at all. On one hand, it's a good thing that he seems to have settled down in his off-field life, but on the other hand he doesn't seem to be the player he used to be. Correct me if I'm wrong.

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"These Patriots will forever go down as a team that belonged to Belichick and Tom Brady, though the club’s identity was formed just as much around people like Tedy Bruschi and Troy Brown. Those are the men who defined the Pats as much as anyone..." - Tony Mazz, 8/31/09

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RayClay

I hate that phrase - bend, but don't break.

We've always played it, but in our heyday it was more like "tighten the noose".

OK, we'll give you that route, between the 30 yard lines. Comfortable? Now we switch with Rodney, Ty Law, Asante and you're screwed.

So much better than these teams with big chest thumping sacks or tight coverage in the first half, only to have offenses who hang in there find those weak spots and exploit them. I'd much rather be the one directing the flow of the offense by my defensive schemes, then reacting.

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KontradictioN

We didn't play BBDB in 2003 and 2004. Maybe if we got up to big leads, but those defenses were Belichickian defenses that didn't allow a ton of yardage on a regular basis on the ground or through the air. On top of that, those defenses were some of the most aggressive defenses in the NFL when it came to blitzing the safety.

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CREDIT - Sicilian

DarrylS

The BBDB argument is somewhat amusing, and somehow is associated with our deficit.. but if you look at the two most forminable opponents coming out of the NFC Saints (#27 in pass defense) and Green Bay (#31) it provides perspective.

Perhaps BBDB, is the secret to success and not an object of failure.

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"Being the best doesn't mean you always win. It just means you win more than anyone else".. tweet from Kurt Warner to Tom Brady.

Sicilian

The way the Colts have played (and handled this season overall) is really a slap in the face to the fans, there's no question. However, at this point, why on Earth would they have signed Kyle Orton? The offense there is BAD, but the defense is equally atrocious, giving up around 30 points per game. Orton might have squeaked out one (maybe two) wins for them the rest of the way, but would that really make anyone feel better?

Again, a disgraceful approach to this season from the get go, but at this point you might as well ride it out.

I think what this stat says to me is we're game planning our safeties deep, and our corners tackle fairly well. So what you're getting is coverage problems in the middle routes, but they don't often break for lots of YAC on the deeper throws. I think this is what Belichick is talking about when he comments on the late game "prevent" type defenses, where the goal is to limit the big play and force them to take long drives to score, BUT they'd certainly like to stop them a bit more than they have. The mid level routes have been the ones that kill us (evidenced by our troubles in recent years on 3rd and long).

Ivan

Colts ownership and the front office wanted to be the worst team in football from the opening snap, why on earth would they pick up a player who would help them win?

The NFL should take away the No. 1 for deliberately tanking an entire season.