TheGodInAGreyHoodie

Matt Cassel prays science experiment ends world before Sunday

FOXBORO, MA—Newly-minted Patriots starting QB Matt Cassel has begun to pray that the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) experiment in Geneva, Switzerland induces a cataclysmic reaction and ending all life on the solar system, preferably before Sunday’s game against the Jets, despite repeated assurances from the project’s leaders that there was virtually no chance of such a catastrophe happening.

“I know it’s a stretch, but right now I’ll take anything,” a visibly nervous and pale Cassel told SSNN. “Something, anything, to get me out of Sunday’s game without losing face. I think most of the fans in Boston will accept that the end of the world is an unfortunate occurrence I have no control over.”

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Citing the Bible as proof of God is like citing comic books to prove the existence of Superman.

signbabybrady

thats just retarded

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TheGodInAGreyHoodie

Some folks read the Globe and Herald. I read the onion, ssnn, and the pickle.

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Citing the Bible as proof of God is like citing comic books to prove the existence of Superman.

TrueBeliever

That's clever. I especially like this part:

I'll have to keep an eye on that site. I used to read The Brushback every week but they rarely put up new stuff anymore.

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I really need a new sig pic

Bringing you snarky commentary since 2008.

Pat the Pats Fan

A sports version of "The Onion".....it doesn't work.....

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A sarcastic Bill Belichick on Tom Brady's finger injury, "It's not life threatening."

JSn

It's cute, but the Onion ALWAYS does it better.

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Tunescribe

Someone spent a lot of time and effort on a very lame attempt at humor. Time to grow up and get a life ... and a job.

neuronet

I liked it, especially the part about Randy Moss, "amateur physicist."

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Ice_Ice_Brady writes:
The difference is that Brady calmly calls audibles while Manning flaps like a chicken, barks 11 code words, and makes sure every camera in the stadium has documented his once-in-a-generation (and patented, I believe) ability to see a defensive formation and change the play. Both have the same effect, but Manning transcends measurable human intellect while Brady merely chooses a different play.

captadamnj

From the tone of things Sunday nite and Monday, it seemed a lot of Boston sports fans already thought the world had ended...

PatsFaninAZ

That's some funny stuff.

Unfortunately for Matt, they swtiched it on a couple of days ago without incident. They won't be banging particles together in it for 10 months or so, so the black holes are probably not going to show up until after XLIII.