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If you have heard of Booth Lusteg, you perhaps have no life. You'd have to be a psycho AFL freak to remember this freak. He was the Buffalo placekicker for the 1966 season, and miraculously led the league in scoring that year. But, in a scene reminiscent of what happened to New Orleans this weekend, Lusteg clanked a 23-yard field goal against San Diego and the Bills had to settle for a 17-all tie. A fan found him after the game and bopped him one in the beezer. Lusteg was let go after the '66 campaign. He tries to nail one deep, but he shanks the kick and it floats out of bounds for a penalty. It figures.
On April 12, 2000, this writer took his intermediate level band to a rating festival and came away with the highest ratings (Division I Superior).
That morning, my dad died back in Springfield, Massachusetts.
And it's a sure bet that Brett Favre's mom told him on Monday what my mother told me that morning. Dad would want you to do it. Attaboy, Brett, and the prayers keep on coming.
If there would be one team the Patriots would want to play in order to nail down HFA, by golly, they got 'em.
Just run Antowain Smith like last Saturday night and use multiple wideout packages with the intent to isolate someone on Lawyer Milloy.
And that's just for starters. This time, Drew Bledsoe will not escape the wrath of his former mates.
Both Tampa Bay and Oakland are out of playoff contention. That's okay, guys, the Patriots and Rams know exactly how you feel.
Will everyone please stop this adulation of Bill Parcells and the Dallas Cowboys. It just goes to show you that reputation rules.
Besides, Dallas won't even get a whiff of the NFC Championship game.
Ironic moment of the month: On Monday morning, Al Michaels is doing a radio show. At 11:15 AM Pacific time, Michaels finds himself saying, "I tell you what, we're having an earthquake…"
Geek of the week: He doesn't deserve this. But John Carney picked the worst possible time to miss his first conversion in eight years. The radio man was right on: "Oh, my God! How could he do that?!"
Add me to that list. How could I do that? Let's try this geek thing again and see if I get it right.
Geek of the week: "I want to kiss you!" In my younger days of rowdy college life, I still managed to remain polite to women no matter how little pain I was feeling, and that was excluding interviews on national television. Has Joe Willie regressed to 1969?
Obviously Namath was drunk as a skunk Saturday night. But it's a good bet that had he played in place of Chad Pennington, he would have had a better game. Face it, Opie was just plain awful.
Whoever thought of putting "strength of schedule" up to the third tiebreaker level knew what they were doing.
Ditto for the dude who created "strength of victory".
I mean, otherwise why in the Sam Hill would Green Bay care about Pittsburgh versus Baltimore?
Lawyer Milloy may be the only reason Buffalo doesn't lose something like 45-0 on Saturday.
Simply stated, there is zero chance that the Patriots don't come out like, as Lawrence Taylor was given to say, "a bunch of crazed dogs".
If Indianapolis gets their rematch with Denver in the Wild Card round, the Broncos probably win again, with or without Clinton Portis.
Sorry, Peyton Manning, but you need more than just Marvin Harrison, Edgerrin James and Dwight Freeney.
Honk if you hope Cincinnati wins the AFC North and not Baltimore.
"Monday Night at the Mike" makes you wish Howard Cosell were still alive.
Even though he hated Boston and New England.
Meanwhile, you see Lisa Guerrero and wonder why ABC can't use Suzy Kolber like ESPN can. Aren't these two networks engaged in a sisterly relationship?
We already know she's more professional. How would Lisa have handled that old frisky drunk Saturday night?
Back to school: Fall down on your knees and thank your Almighty for the New Orleans Bowl.
When Favre heads down to Mississippi for the funeral, he should take Javon Walker with him. He'll take care of Brett on Wednesday like he did on Monday.
Here's hoping that no Patriot ever gets elected to the Pro Bowl again.
Never mind that the game just plain rots. It's terrific motivation.
Calling Jerry Rice the best receiver in history is the biggest understatement in the history of mankind.
But the best NFL player ever? Unfair. Why bother? Our vote goes to Jim Brown.
I say they should begin the Patriots-Bills game like they began an XFL game. Put the ball at the 50 and whoever grabs it first gets the choice of kick or wind. Then make the combatants Rodney Harrison and Lawyer Milloy.
And just for good measure, instead of putting them both on one of the 30s, put them on opposite 30s and have them run dead smack at each other.
Otto Graham was the Joe Montana of his day. Lots of grandpas think that Otto was better than Joe. The NFL got a great deal poorer instantly upon his passing.
Will Jamal Lewis break Eric Dickerson's rushing record? Tough chore against Pittsburgh, even in their dilapidated state.
Please, NFL, avoid Romeo Crennel when you start your search for new coaches. He's prime coaching material, we know. But we prefer him to stay right here.
Remember him: The distinguished gentleman from New York could really fling 'em in the days of the old AFL. Jack Kemp was equally adept in the huddle for the Buffalo Bills as he was in the cabinet of President Dad Bush. The former Buffalo congressman boasts two AFL titles on his impressive resume.
If you want to describe Sebastian Janikowski, you need to bring in Lions president Matt Millen and have him come up with the right thing to say.
When you tell a Raider fan that Bill Callahan should be fired, they will very quickly ask you how Jon Gruden is doing in Tampa, and you stammer for the next ten seconds or so.
An unforeseen injury.
An unforeseen player release.
An unforeseen tragedy affecting a key player or two.
Otherwise, Buffalo, be prepared to be the living image of "what goes around comes around", and good luck.
And we send off our warmest holiday greetings to everyone - even the Buffalo Bills.
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