{"id":53404,"date":"2024-05-06T23:30:38","date_gmt":"2024-05-07T03:30:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patsfans.com\/patriots\/blog\/?p=53404"},"modified":"2024-05-06T23:35:07","modified_gmt":"2024-05-07T03:35:07","slug":"what-did-drew-bledsoe-say-at-tom-bradys-netflix-roast-heres-the-full-transcript","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patsfans.com\/patriots\/blog\/2024\/05\/06\/what-did-drew-bledsoe-say-at-tom-bradys-netflix-roast-heres-the-full-transcript\/","title":{"rendered":"What Did Drew Bledsoe Say at Tom Brady’s Netflix Roast? Here’s the Full Transcript"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s the full transcript of what former New England Patriots<\/strong><\/a> quarterback Drew Bledsoe said during The Roast of Tom Brady on Netflix Sunday night:<\/p>\n

(Editor\u2019s Note: This transcript is done via the available footage and is subject to typos.\u00a0 If you spot something, please take a moment to let me know in the comments below.)<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThis is a pretty cool stage up here.\u00a0 This reminds me of … ”<\/p>\n

[audience yelling ‘Dreewwww’]<\/em><\/p>\n

“Settle down, I’ve got some jokes to tell.”<\/p>\n

“This stage is really cool.\u00a0 Man, this reminds me of the first round of the draft.\u00a0 You remember, Randy? [motions to Randy Moss].\u00a0 Willie [McGinest]? You remember.\u00a0 First round.\u00a0 Pretty cool, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

“So I’ve got to admit, I’m a little bit nervous tonight.\u00a0 I truly am.\u00a0 Because the last time I was up on stage before Tom Brady, I ended up in the hospital for five days and I lost my damn job.”<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, real talk.\u00a0 A lot of people just assume that I have a lot of animosity towards Tom Brady.\u00a0 Well, I\u2019m here to tell you tonight, in front of millions of people, that you\u2019re correct, I f****n hate him.\u201d<\/p>\n

“But let’s just be honest.\u00a0 A lot of you guys kind of hate him too.\u00a0 I mean, who’s more hateable than the most successful quarterback of all time? … I mean, except maybe Belichick.”<\/p>\n

\u201cThere was a rumor that coach Belichick was going to be here tonight.\u00a0 Turns out he has some time on his hands.\u00a0 Hey, look, at least when I got fired, somebody else wanted me.”<\/p>\n

[Looks behind himself]<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI was worried he was behind me.\u201d<\/p>\n

“Look, Tom invited his one black receiver here tonight. That’s very woke of you, buddy. You’re very woke.”<\/p>\n

“Anyway, Randy Moss is here.\u00a0 He’s a country-ass bass fisherman from West Virginia who used to own a NASCAR team.\u00a0 Even your black receivers are white dudes.\u00a0 I mean, come on, his name’s Randy.\u00a0 That’s the f*****n whitest name since ‘Kevin.'”<\/p>\n

“Rob Gronkowski’s here tonight.\u00a0 He’s Tom’s favorite tight end that wasn’t a murderer.”<\/p>\n

“A lot of people don’t know that Gronk is originally from Buffalo.\u00a0 That’s right.\u00a0 He was actually born on a folding table at a Bills tailgate.\u00a0 In a weird twist of fate, that’s also where he was conceived.\u00a0 Apologies to your folks, Rob.”<\/p>\n

“The second best #11 to ever play for the Patriots is here, Julian Edelman.\u00a0 Jules is a true unicorn.\u00a0 He’s a short Jewish receiver but he also played defense.\u00a0 Belichick wanted him to play nickel, he held out for dime.\u00a0 Most of his career highlights are just negotiations.”<\/p>\n

\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

(PHOTO: Greg M. Cooper – USA TODAY Sports)<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cSo, look, Tom, I\u2019m really glad you enjoyed all this amazing success with the team that I built.\u00a0 Super f****n happy for you, bud.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, when most people lose their jobs, they start drinking.\u00a0 I started a winery.\u00a0 It\u2019s called Doubleback.\u00a0 It\u2019s named after what Tom does every time he walks past a mirror.\u201d<\/p>\n

“You know this move, right?”<\/p>\n

[checks his eyebrows]<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know you do that too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy favorite wine is our world-class cabernet.\u00a0 Tom\u2019s favorite wine is, \u2018Where\u2019s the flag?’\u201d<\/p>\n

“You know, obviously buddy, you got really used to not being touched, right?\u00a0 Just like the end of the marriage.”<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, buddy, you have more rings than I do, but I\u2019ve experienced a couple of things you\u2019ll never experience.\u00a0 The feeling of being the number one overall draft pick in the NFL, and a 28th wedding anniversary, it was yesterday.”<\/p>\n

“That actually was yesterday.\u00a0 Love you, baby.\u201d<\/p>\n

[Raises glass]<\/em><\/p>\n

“So when I first met Tom, he was not the greatest of all time.\u00a0 He was not what you see right now.\u00a0 He was just a sensitive pretty boy from San Francisco who wouldn’t shower with the team.\u00a0 And he drove a yellow jeep.\u00a0 A yellow f*****n jeep.”<\/p>\n

[Brady says something inaudible]<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, don\u2019t make excuses, dude, it was a yellow f*****g jeep.”<\/p>\n

“But look, I am not standing here right now saying that Tom Brady is gay. I\u2019m not.\u00a0 I\u2019m not saying that.\u00a0 But he sure did f*** me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, now I have to be nice and sincere, and I will be. Look, Man.\u00a0 Tommy, I\u2019ve told you before and I will tell you now in front of millions of people.\u00a0 I\u2019m incredibly proud of all that you\u2019ve accomplished, but I\u2019m far more proud of how you\u2019ve done it.\u00a0 You\u2019ve always been a man of true character and I know you\u2019re going to continue to do great things in the world and I love you.”<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, will you please stay f*****g retired?\u00a0 We are sick of this s**t.\u201d<\/p>\n

“All right, gotta go.”<\/p>\n

(Editor\u2019s Note: This transcript is done via the available footage and is subject to typos.\u00a0 If you spot something, please take a moment to let me know in the comments below.)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s the full transcript of what former New England Patriots quarterback Drew Bledsoe said during The Roast of Tom Brady on Netflix Sunday night.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":15311,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[237],"tags":[516,23563,13,23558],"class_list":["post-53404","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-patriots-transcripts","tag-drew-bledsoe","tag-netflix","tag-tom-brady","tag-tom-brady-roast"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Did Drew Bledsoe Say at Tom Brady's Netflix Roast? 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