2019 Weekly Picks Winner
Long day here…I’m exhausted.
I just broke into my black neighbor’s house (crawled through the window) because I had to help them immediately.
It was a big family reunion. I stood on the table, ripped off my shirt, and explained to them that 92% of blacks are in fact wrong in thinking the Democratic Party is for them, when in fact the Republican Party improves their lives on many levels.
A few of them cheered at first, but not all of them.
I told them the Democrats make promises they don’t keep and that by voting Democrat, black people hurt themselves.
A few more clapped.
The police officer who had been called was sitting, listening to my facts about trickle down economics and that racial profiling is a myth. He asked me how I know all this.
I told him I heard it from a moderate.
The officer did a celebratory fist slam on the table.
I told everyone that racism affects all of us. I pointed out that identity politics, critical race theory, and divisive groups like BLM, are just other forms of racism. I explained how I was personally victimized by it too.
Everyone cheered and agreed to vote Republican from now on. The police officer told me that while I broke the law, he couldn’t arrest me after I just saved an entire black family from their own destruction.
I’m really proud of myself. But the real heroes? The Republican men and women who go Congress every day and fight against racism, and the brave Fox newscasters who dare to spread the message of fairness and equality, and of course, you, Andy, the uncompromisingly fair, color-blind Republican moderate who brought all these facts to my attention.
Ok, in a post that you claim low IQ people call people names you call me names. Haha Priceless.
What do you call a monkey that stepped on a land mine?
You lost. I won. Again.
Shame on you guys, defying Andy's white-knuckled quest for self-validation.