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Best NFL Mom for NFL Names: Miriam St. Brown

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PatsFanInVa

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I was tickled by the name Equanimeous St. Brown, he of the Green Bay Packers, and was pleasantly surprised to see the winning reception in the Lions game scored by one Amon-Ra Julian Heru J. St. Brown, his brother. Youngest brother Osiris St. Brown is still playing at Stanford.

Miriam Brown, of the Leverkusen, Germany, Browns, is presumably responsible for this pantheon-mashing melange, and I award her one million points.

A grateful nation thanks you, Miriam Brown, as do the cultures of the ancient mediterranean!
 

scott99

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Runner-up: Mrs. Mingo, mother of Barkevious and Hughtavious.
Yeah, I think gladiator names must’ve been really popular during the contest to come up with the craziest names. I figured there HAD to be a contest to come up with crazy first names, it’s seems to be the only logical explanation. Evious and Avious really give any name that gladiator sound.

My favorite was Ladufous. Can’t remember the kid’s last name. My favorite for this year is some kid playing NCAA football, his first name is Sincere.
 

scott99

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Special mention to Shaq Mason’s mom. His full name is Shaquille Olajuwon Mason.
The first names are so outrageous nowadays, that the first name Shaquille sounds boring, pedestrian even.
 

PatsFanInVa

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Ladufous is one where they maybe didn't think it all the way through.

I affirmatively like the evious and avious names. I especially liked Barkevious Mingo because if he ever - EVER - did something impressive, how great would it be to hear on the PA? Barkevioussssss MINGOOOOOOO. That "lets get ready to rumble" guy would cream his tux pants.

Bonus - and hopefully, Bonus isn't somebody's name - the "evious" names sound like adjectives as well as gladiators. Like "Oh, he was always a little barkevious...."
 

PatsFanInVa

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Also, in Amon-Ra Julian Heru J. St. Brown, I really want to know if the J. stands for something.
 

PatsFanInVa

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Erratum: Osiris is the middle son, and Amon-Ra is the youngest.


Also, bleacherreport doesn't have the "J." after "Heru," so it might be superfluous.
 

PatsFanInVa

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also, did Osiris have a sister Isis at one point? And if so, did they change it to "Lisa" or something? Okay I am done.
 

patchick

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"Saint Brown" is already the most NFL surname imaginable.

I wonder whether their dad was partially reacting to the spectacular ordinariness of his own name, John Brown. Not that he didn't stand out in other ways....
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