A few follow-up questions before we submit this case for resolution:
1). Were you a Browns fan/Cleveland-area resident at the time you bought the item?
2). If you were a Patriots fan, why did you buy a Browns sweatshirt?
3). Also if a Pats fan, did you travel to Cleveland for that game specifically?
4). What was the Pats' "bad playoff stretch" you refer to?
5). Was the sweatshirt ever laundered (spilled drinks, chip dip, etc.)?
6). How did you first lose the sweatshirt and where was it found?
7). Knowing the value and application of this item, why was it packed away?
8). Did you consider retrieving it from storage prior to this latest playoff loss?
9). Your acceptance of blame might mitigate your sentence if found guilty. What possible penalty would you deem fair?
Thanks.