Scariest thing I’ve ever heard

PatsWickedPissah · Mar 2, 2019

"Your PSA seems high. SNAP! Let me check your prostate again."

Patsfanin Philly · Mar 2, 2019

PatsWickedPissah said:
"Your PSA seems high. SNAP! Let me check your prostate again."

"We have to biopsy your prostate"....makes the digital exam seem like a minor inconvenience.....

Patsfanin Philly · Mar 2, 2019

PP2 said:
I thought it was:

Do I look fat in this?

I once told an ex-girlfriend in response to that question that she looked a little 'chunky'... That is one reason she became an ex-girlfriend..
Nearly 32 years of marriage have taught me the proper response to that question, "you look great".. even if she is in the other side of the house behind several walls...

PatsWickedPissah · Mar 2, 2019

Patsfanin Philly said:
"We have to biopsy your prostate"....makes the digital exam seem like a minor inconvenience.....

Yes, it is like someone snapping a thick rubber band hard at your nether regions 12 times.

Wheelman · Mar 2, 2019

Soliel said:
Miami of Ohio

Let that sink in

Well it is the school that brought up Rapistburger. Must be a correlation.

PP2 · Mar 2, 2019

maust1013 said:
I guess it goes back to that matter of perspective thing. We all navigate our own particular minefields, that one has never been in the one I traverse. Not once in all our years together, even during pregnancies, has my bride ever uttered those words. She prides herself on her conditioning, it shows and other women hate her for it.
YMMV but the ones I listed go something like this:

Fine; It is anything but and it's time I started being reasonable and seeing it her way.

Nothing; It is most definitely something and that unknown something is damn important. In fact my universe has now shrunken to whatever the something behind that nothing is.

Go Ahead; DO NOT GO AHEAD! Best to freeze in place and await instruction.

It's Okay; No, no it is not. Exercise extreme caution

Whatever; The discussion is over. She is right and I am an idiot. The only thing left to be determined is my punishment. May God have mercy on my soul.

Really; DEFCON 2, the warheads are fueled and the silos are open

We need to talk; No, SHE needs to talk. I either need to listen carefully or beg forgiveness.

YOUR Son; Whatever follows is an indictment of my parenting skills as exhibited by the actions of one of my apparently motherless offspring. Any flippancy on my part after the uttering of those words could be fatal and it's not just my life in the balance, the gate is open and I might be taking him to hell with me.

Patsfanin Philly said:
I once told an ex-girlfriend in response to that question that she looked a little 'chunky'... That is one reason she became an ex-girlfriend..
Nearly 32 years of marriage have taught me the proper response to that question, "you look great".. even if she is in the other side of the house behind several walls...

Thankfully I've never been in that situation before- I remain unmarried.

However I've spoken to someone who has been in that situation. He says:

1) If you answer no, you are dead because she thinks you are lying.

2) If you answer yes, you are more than dead. No explanation necessary as to why.

3) Therefore, the best course of action is to have a brain aneurysm right on the spot. Fake is ok, but real is preferable.

maust · Mar 2, 2019

signbabybrady said:
Just imagine if you were draft eligible

That would be up straight hysterical. Unlike most every other guy on the internet, all of whom are in such great shape they could shame Edelman or KVN, I am no longer in my physical prime. I'm in fairly decent shape for a guy in his mid 60's but having actually aged and all, I doubt I could now throw this here ball over that mountain...especially when you consider I couldn't do it 40 years ago either.

Joker · Mar 2, 2019

Me and the cat have to jog our memories a bit but I think it's a tie between two scary things ,if I recall

"You want me to suck WHAT?"

"when are we moving to Ft. Lauderdale?"

maust · Mar 2, 2019

PP2 said:
Thankfully I've never been in that situation before- I remain unmarried.

However I've spoken to someone who has been in that situation. He says...:

As stated I've never been asked that question but if I were my response would be "Babe, you look good enough to eat." Which I'm fairly certain would be more than enough to keep my ass safe.

RelocatedPatFan · Mar 2, 2019

maust1013 said:
As stated I've never been asked that question but if I were my response would be "Babe, you look good enough to eat." Which I'm fairly certain would be more than enough to keep my ass safe.

My response, "I feel I need to be honest here.", and without pause, "You look absolutely lovely." If asked multiple times, you have to change things up.

Not advisable
"You want some peanut butter with that jelly?"
"Compared to what?"
"Are you sure you'll be able to sit in that (implied - without it ripping)?"

Soliel · Mar 3, 2019

Wheelman said:
Well it is the school that brought up Rapistburger. Must be a correlation.

The two names are a double negative. Nothing good ever seems to happen in Miami, only one disaster after another. Ohio now I’ll not get started up on that lol.

mgcolby · Mar 3, 2019

maust1013 said:
As stated I've never been asked that question but if I were my response would be "Babe, you look good enough to eat." Which I'm fairly certain would be more than enough to keep my ass safe.

I usually keep it safe and simple by saying "I'd do ya"....hasn't failed me yet usually just get a laugh and and a headshake.

jah · Mar 3, 2019

farn said:
Your kidney stone is 2cm x 1cm...

This was my actual fall 2018.

farn · Mar 3, 2019

Elijah said:
This was my actual fall 2018.

That was my actual yesterday. Had a 2x1cm extracted and - spoiler alert - today’s been no picnic.

Drewski · Mar 3, 2019

Soliel said:
The two names are a double negative. Nothing good ever seems to happen in Miami, only one disaster after another. Ohio now I’ll not get started up on that lol.

Which....would.....make it a positive?

PatsFanInVa · Mar 3, 2019

PP2 said:
I thought it was:

Do I look fat in this?

jah · Mar 3, 2019

farn said:
That was my actual yesterday. Had a 2x1cm extracted and - spoiler alert - today’s been no picnic.

Good luck dude. I had to get 2 surgeries so I had to recover twice and the first couple days after were the worst. Hope it's not too bad.

Palm Beach Pats Fan · Mar 3, 2019

This is the scariest thing I have heard today:

Ochmed Jones · Mar 4, 2019

Ray Lewis with time to kill before a super bowl!!!!!

signbabybrady · Mar 4, 2019

farn said:
That was my actual yesterday. Had a 2x1cm extracted and - spoiler alert - today’s been no picnic.

My actual SB day and following week in 2014. Severe pancreatitis from gall stones. Followed by no more gall bladder.

Scariest thing I’ve ever heard

PatsFans.com Supporter

PatsFans.com Supporter

PatsFans.com Supporter

PatsFans.com Supporter

Pro Bowl Player

Hall of Fame Poster

Just Another Guy

PatsFans.com Supporter

Just Another Guy

Experienced Starter w/First Big Contract

In the Starting Line-Up

Woohoo, I'm a VIP!!!

Degeneracy Expert

Pro Bowl Player

GVoR

PatsFans.com Supporter

Degeneracy Expert

Pro Bowl Player

Pro Bowl Player

Pro Bowl Player

Similar threads