This one is even funnier:
HEY PATRIOTS, DO YOU KNOW WHY EVERYONE HATES YOU? IT'S NOT REALLY THE CHEATING. IT'S NOT REALLY ALL THE MASSHOLES IN YOUR ****ING PRIVILEGED, ECHO-CHAMBER, BRIGADE VOTING, WHINY, SELF-ABSORBED FANBASE. IT ISN'T EVEN YOUR CONTINUED SUCCESS, AS SUCH. ALL THAT **** IS SUPER ****ING ANNOYING, NO QUESTION.
BUT HERE'S WHY PEOPLE REALLY, REALLY HATE YOU: YOU JUST KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT.
- YOUR BEST RECEIVER ISN'T SOME IMPOSING ATHLETIC FREAK WITH STICKEM HANDS. HE'S A SHIFTY LITTLE **** WHO SOME OF US COULD PROBABLY BEAT UP IN A BAR FIGHT. AND HE'S THE SECOND GENERATION OF SHIFTY LITTLE ****S TO DO THIS FOR YOU (YOU WERE GREAT, WES, BUT YOU ARE/WERE A SHIFTY LITTLE ****).
- YEAR AFTER YEAR YOU TRADE DOWN IN THE DRAFT AND PICK UP ****WADS FROM ITT TECH OR SOME **** AND YET THEY CONTRIBUTE RIGHT AWAY, AND ARE ALMOST NEVER A BUST.
- YEAR AFTER YEAR YOU DUCT TAPE TOGETHER JOURNEYMEN AND OTHER TEAMS' CAST OFFS INTO A FORMIDABLE DEFENSE. ON ANY OTHER TEAM NINKOVICH IS ONE OF ABOUT THREE WHITE GUYS IN ROTATION, BUT ON THE PATRIOTS OF COURSE HE'S A GODDAMN PLAYMAKER.
- YEAR AFTER YEAR YOU IGNORE THE WIDE RECEIVER POSITION, OPTING TO PICK UP SOME RANDOM **** FACE WHO OF COURSE SUDDENLY BECOMES A VITAL OR AT LEAST USEFUL WEAPON FOR YOU. I MEAN: BRANDON LA FELL—ARE YOU ****ING KIDDING ME? TELL YOU WHAT: AFTER WE CUT BUBBA CALDWELL NEXT YEAR, YOU TAKE HIM, AND TURN HIM INTO AN ALL PRO, BECAUSE ****ING OF COURSE YOU WILL.
- YEAR AFTER YEAR YOU PROMOTE SOME DIPSHIT FROM THE PRACTICE SQUAD TO STARTING RB, FOR ONE GAME ONLY, IN WHICH HE'LL GET 200 ALL PURPOSE YARDS JUST WHEN YOU NEED HIM TO.
- YEAR AFTER YEAR, EVERYONE ELSE IN YOUR DIVISION ACCUMULATES BETTER TALENT, AND PROCEEDS TO THEN TRIP OVER THEIR OWN FLOPPY ****S ON THEIR WAY TO 9-7 OR 7-9.
I CAN'T ****ING STAND IT. EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS LEAGUE HAS TO FIGHT TOOTH AND CLAW TO GET THE BEST PLAYERS THEY CAN AFFORD, HOPE TO HELL THEY AREN'T INJURED FOR THE YEAR, PRAY FOR SOME LUCK HERE AND THERE, AND SURVIVE THEIR DIVISIONAL GAMES. NOT YOU ****ERS. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO'S INJURED, WHO YOU'RE STARTING, WHO YOU PICK UP OFF WAIVERS, WHO YOU DRAFT, WHAT THE OTHER TEAMS IN YOUR DIVISION DO: YOU ****ERS WIN ANYWAYS.
**** YOU. **** YOU SO VERY MUCH THAT "**** YOU" CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO CONVEY THE AMOUNT OF **** I AM DIRECTING AT YOU.
EDIT: THANKS FOR THE GOLD, EVEN THOUGH I SUSPECT IT MAY BE CURSED PATRIOTS GOLD. IF NOT, I ACCEPT IT AS AN ACT OF COMMISERATION.
CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIPS TRASH TALK THREAD • /r/nfl
