Jacksonville at New England
Before the opening coin toss, Jacksonville's team captains tell their New England counterparts they mean no disrespect to the defending champs by showing up at Gillette Stadium to contest the game. Angered that the Jacksonville players dare speak to them, the Patriots explode in the first quarter and take a 17-3 lead into halftime.
Jaguars head coach Jack Del Rio has a trick up his sleeve, however, and rallies his squad with a halftime speech telling the tale of the great Tedy Bruschi. Inspired more than they knew they ever could be, the Jaguars quickly narrow the margin at the beginning of the third quarter to 17-13, and are driving for another score when Bruschi intercepts a pass and runs over all 11 Jaguars on the way to a touchdown and a 24-13 Patriots lead. He then returns to the sidelines, where he discovers a cure for AIDS and solves the problem of third-world debt during the ensuing kickoff, before returning to the field to make all three tackles as Jacksonville goes three-and-out on its next possession. Bruschi then returns the punt for a touchdown, actually levitating and flying over the amazed Jaguars players for 20 yards during one portion of the runback.
Inspired by this God-like display, the Jaguars forfeit the game, return to Florida and immediately found Jacksonville's first Church of Tedy Bruschi. New England 31, Jacksonville 13.
