Welcome to PatsFans.com

Why SD wins on Sunday

Discussion in 'Visiting Locker Room' started by ivanvamp, Jan 15, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. ivanvamp

    ivanvamp Rookie

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2007
    Messages:
    2,684
    Likes Received:
    2
    Ratings:
    +10 / 0 / -0

    1. The Patriots are too old. We know this. Yes, I know their D-
    line's average age is just 26.7 years of age, and their starting RB is
    just 22. Yes, I know their top 4 wide receivers' average age is
    27.8. Yes, I know that their top 2 cornerbacks are 27 and 24 (average
    age: 25.5). Yes, I know their offensive line's average age is 28.2.
    I mean, these guys are *ANCIENT*. I mean, look, they have Bruschi,
    Seau, and Harrison....old, old, old men. Their experience counts for
    nothing. Harrison's INT to seal the game this past week was
    lucky...old men do not make that play and luck is the only
    explanation. Oh, and for crying out loud, their QB is 30 - how will
    he ever make the plays. Ok, so the Pats are way too old to compete
    with the youth and energy of San Diego.

    2. Their QB doesn't make nearly as many plays as Philip Rivers or
    Billy Volek. Did you see those guys against Indy yesterday?
    Unbelievable. No way Brady makes that many good throws. He (Brady)
    is a product of the system and if left to his own devices has no
    prayer of completing, say, 26 out of 28 passes. No chance.


    3. The Pats' O-line is doomed. No chance of stopping the Chargers'
    pass rush. I mean, Merriman had two sacks by himself in the first
    game. Yes, I know that the rest of the Chargers had zero, and that
    New England still scored 38 points, but come on. It will be different
    this time. No chance to run and less chance they'll be able to
    protect Brady. He'll be running for his life, and, since we've
    established that he's really, really old (Unitas-like old), he won't
    be able to flee successfully. Put San Diego down for at least 7 sacks
    and 20 QB pressures.

    4. LaDanian Tomlinson is by far the best player on the planet and
    he'll singlehandedly (if for some unknown and inexplicable reason
    Rivers/Volek don't do it) put up 35 points. He'll run for 3 scores,
    catch another one, and even throw for one. 300 total yards of offense
    and 5 touchdowns for LT. Mark it down. He cannot be stopped by
    anyone, especially the old, slow (did we say old) Patriots defense.
    The fast, young Colts couldn't stop him; why should we believe that
    the old, slow Patriots defense (did I mention they're old?) can. Zero
    chance. In fact, 41 points for the Chargers seems like an
    understatement because of reason #5.

    5. Antonio Cromartie is the best defensive player in the
    world....maybe even better than Shawne Merriman. Cromartie will have
    at least 3 interceptions and will likely return one (maybe even two)
    for touchdowns. So make the final score 49-17. Maybe New England
    won't even score that many, because the Chargers possess the greatest
    defense on planet earth. I mean, never mind that San Diego ranked #14
    in yards allowed (320.3) while the old, slow, overrated Patriots
    defense ranked #4 (288.3). Never mind that San Diego gave up an
    average of 17.8 points per game while New England's old, slow defense
    gave up 17.1. The Patriots were obviously lucky while the Chargers
    were dominating.

    6. The coaching is a total mismatch. Belichick cheats to win. Norv
    Turner is a football genius. How many coaches can actually summon up
    the game plan to beat Indianapolis? Not many. Yes, I know Indy is
    7-7 in the playoffs under Dungy, but that doesn't mean anything. Yes,
    I know that Indy has lost its last *three* home games in the
    divisional round, but that shouldn't be the case because, next to
    Turner, Tony Dungy is the greatest football mind in the world. The
    only coach able to outsmart Dungy is Norv Turner. You see Turner's
    playoff record? 3-1, baby. That's 75%. I know Belichick's record in
    the playoffs is 14-3 (82.4%), but that's largely based on (a) the
    lucky Tuck Rule, and (b) he must have been cheating. The three Super
    Bowl rings as a head coach, and several more as an assistant are due
    to the other coaches around him. That and luck and cheating. Without
    luck, cheating, and the other coaches, he isn't even qualified to be
    running a Pop Warner team. Big edge to San Diego.

    7. The home field advantage clearly favors the Chargers. New England
    is only 9-0 in Foxboro this year and Brady's lifetime playoff record
    at home is 7-0. All the product of luck and cheating, obviously. The
    Chargers, meanwhile, compiled an awesome 4-4 road record during the
    season against the league's heavyweights. And they went to
    Indianapolis and won - have I mentioned that beating Indy in
    Indianapolis during the divisional round is a rarity? Because the
    temperature will be cold, it will favor San Diego. The Chargers are
    built for the cold not because they practice and play in sunny, 80-
    degree San Diego, and not because they will have had three cross-
    country flights in the span of a week, but because they can run and
    have LT, the greatest player since Antonio Cromartie and Billy Volek.
    New England, because they like to pass, is not built for the cold
    weather, even though they practice and play in New England, and are
    24-2 in Foxboro in December and January (you know, the cold months)
    since 2001. Clearly, when the temperature drops, New England will
    have problems while San Diego, despite spending the entire season in
    tropical conditions, will be pumped and jacked (to quote another great
    southern California coach...almost on par with Norv Turner).

    8. Motivation is clearly with the Chargers. After all, the Patriots
    went to sunny San Diego, where the conditions clearly favored the
    Patriots, being a pass-happy, warm-weather team, last year and got
    lucky and won by 3. Then this year, they lucked out again by playing
    San Diego in New England when it was warm. The 38-14 score was
    totally misleading as they were coming off the cheating scandal and
    were reaping the rewards of the 6 minutes of Jets' footage that was
    promptly destroyed by the commissioner. The Chargers are more
    motivated for sure. New England, having completed a 16-0 regular
    season, the greatest (and luckiest...let's be honest) regular season
    in history, are clearly complacent now. How else do you explain their
    lackluster 11 point win over a pathetic Jaguars team? Yes, I know the
    Jaguars beat SD 24-17 earlier in the year, but that, too, was lucky.
    Totally satisfied with their season, the Patriots will come out flat
    and uninspired. They don't care about winning the Super Bowl, having
    won 3 of them already. And really, they've said all season long they
    don't care about going 19-0, so why wouldn't we believe them? Very
    little motivation to go down as the greatest team in the league's
    history, because deep down they know they only got there because of
    luck and cheating. Meanwhile, San Diego, coming off an unbelievably
    impressive win in Indy, where nobody ever goes and wins during the
    divisional round (have I mentioned how improbable that is?), and
    looking for revenge for the last two beatings at the hands of these
    Patriots, will be fired up and ready to go.

    In all, get ready to see Shawne Merriman do his sack dance, Antonio
    Cromartie intercept every Brady pass, LT put up 5 TD, and the Chargers
    advance to the Super Bowl. Mark it down: 49-17.

    (PS - I posted this originally at a.s.f.p.n)
  2. Drew_Brady

    Drew_Brady Rookie

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2007
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    :rofl:

    Excellent!!!
  3. Spirit of '76

    Spirit of '76 Rookie

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2007
    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    Hilarious!

    What were the responses on the San Diego site???
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2008
  4. Bertil

    Bertil Rookie

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2004
    Messages:
    966
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    Charger trolls seem to operate under the principle that: "If you say something often enough, and with enough conviction, you'll begin to believe it".

    Not that it'll offer them any comfort when their team gets waxed on Sunday. Oh wait, this is satire. Nevermind...
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2008
  5. Hollywood_Brady

    Hollywood_Brady Rookie

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2007
    Messages:
    371
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    you point seemed valid... we are gonna get humiliated by 30+ points and igor olshansky will be gracious enough to commend the pats for their efforts...
  6. Fire_The_Muskets

    Fire_The_Muskets Rookie

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2007
    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    AND, you forgot to mention that you out class us in every aspect of life.....

    Yup, we are doooooooomed i tell ya.:bricks:
  7. #56300ex

    #56300ex Rookie

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2007
    Messages:
    693
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    All is not lost, there's still time for all of us to become Charger fans!
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2008
  8. 37Harrison

    37Harrison Rookie

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,603
    Likes Received:
    4
    Ratings:
    +8 / 1 / -2

    #37 Jersey

    Yes the Pats are too old. They haven't faced a young and talented team this year. They are going to get their butt's handed to them.

    Oh wait... I forgot... those old fogeys on the Pats are 17-0.

    Charger fans are hilarious!
  9. speed

    speed Rookie

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2007
    Messages:
    425
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    Wow, that was alot of words and it sounds like its trying to convince yourself that its true, nice work.
  10. stevedogc

    stevedogc Rookie

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2005
    Messages:
    819
    Likes Received:
    1
    Ratings:
    +1 / 0 / -0

    I stopped reading after he basically said the Rivers and Volek are better then Brady. Funny, funny stuff. Got to give him credit for trying to make it sound logical.
  11. ivanvamp

    ivanvamp Rookie

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2007
    Messages:
    2,684
    Likes Received:
    2
    Ratings:
    +10 / 0 / -0

    Good God, people, don't you recognize sarcasm when you see it? I've been a die hard Pats fan since the late 70's for crying out loud. We're in trouble as a fan base if we can't see something that is so obviously meant to poke fun at SD and their fans for what it is, and instead think that's serious pregame commentary.
  12. ivanvamp

    ivanvamp Rookie

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2007
    Messages:
    2,684
    Likes Received:
    2
    Ratings:
    +10 / 0 / -0

    I posted it to the Patriots newsgroup, as I'm a Patriots fan (and a regular poster there...they all know me so they know I was not remotely serious). Apparently most people here missed the pretty obvious sarcasm of the post. You didn't, for which I'm thankful. It loses a lot of humor if you have to actually explain to people that you're making fun of San Diego and the arguments their fans are offering for why the Bolts will win.
  13. speed

    speed Rookie

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2007
    Messages:
    425
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0


    Sadly, you'll see almost EXACTLY this before the week is over. That is why it was hard to see the sarcasm.
  14. Solaris

    Solaris Rookie

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2007
    Messages:
    401
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    If you couldn't tell that was sarcasm, then you sir are either on crack or have the IQ of my wife.
  15. ivanvamp

    ivanvamp Rookie

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2007
    Messages:
    2,684
    Likes Received:
    2
    Ratings:
    +10 / 0 / -0

    Well that's my point. The Chargers' fans arguments will come down to pretty much what I said:

    - LT and the Chargers are unstoppable on offense (even though they've been stopped many times)

    - The Pats' D is too old (even though really it's just a couple of guys, and even so, they held opponents to fewer yards and points per game than SD's "young, fast" defense did)

    - The Pats are complacent while SD is motivated (yeah, the goal of an undefeated season sure would make one complacent)

    - The Chargers are the hottest team in the league, having won 8 straight (um, the Pats have won 17 straight)

    - The Chargers pass rush is the greatest ever (hasn't stopped the Pats from putting up a avg of 31 ppg on them in their last 2 meetings)

    - The Chargers, being a run-first team, are better suited for the cold weather (where Brady hasn't lost below 32 degrees and where they're 24-2 since 2001 in Dec/Jan in Foxboro, and Brady is 7-0 at home in the playoffs)

    I mean, what's really the only scenario whereby the Chargers win? I think they have to generate 2-3 turnovers, maybe one that leads directly to a score (INT returned for a TD, something like that), LT has to run wild, and their pressure has to force Brady into a bad game. That's a lot of things that have to go right for them to win.
  16. BeantownRox

    BeantownRox Rookie

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2008
    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    This post wins.
  17. ClevTrev

    ClevTrev Rookie

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2006
    Messages:
    1,341
    Likes Received:
    2
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0 / -0

    So, that makes Merriman the best player in the Galaxy? Hoo chee mama! We're in for a tough go!!!
  18. djmika760

    djmika760 Banned

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2007
    Messages:
    349
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    Even I was busting up at this one! Classic...
  19. cincipatsfan

    cincipatsfan Rookie

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2007
    Messages:
    698
    Likes Received:
    3
    Ratings:
    +3 / 0 / -0

    :rofl: :rofl:

    Classic
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

unset ($sidebar_block_show); ?>