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White House Quietly Retracts Entire State Of The Union Address

Discussion in 'Political Discussion' started by Holy Diver, Jan 31, 2007.

  1. Holy Diver

    Holy Diver Rookie

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    #80 Jersey

    WASHINGTON, DC—In a brief statement faxed to major media outlets at approximately 11:50 p.m. Friday, the White House retracted the entire 5,600-word State of the Union address delivered by President Bush last Tuesday. "This includes all components of the address, and is not limited to the president's congratulations to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi or his plan to give more Americans affordable health care through tax cuts, which has since been deemed infeasible," the statement read in part. "Furthermore, the president's urge for bipartisanship as well as his final statement about the state of the union being 'strong' are hereby stricken from the public record." Like the State of the Union address itself, the White House's retraction has not yet become a significant national news story.

    http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/white_house_quietly
  2. PressCoverage

    PressCoverage Banned

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    joke, or otherwise, it should be stricken from the books, yes.... insincere or inaccurate from the moment it began welcoming Pelosi, to the very end...
  3. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Give To Mental Health Or I'll Kill You
  4. Fogbuster

    Fogbuster Rookie

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    Peeling onions usually makes you cry.


    //
  5. sdaniels7114

    sdaniels7114 Rookie

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    Since he retracted everything, does this mean that the guy who jumped onto the subway tracks to save that other guy is actually a jerk? What about the soldier who earned the MOH? What's wrong with him all of a sudden? or the Baby Einstein lady?
  6. fleabassist1

    fleabassist1 Rookie

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    I honostly hope you guys know that the onion is a joke website... if not, you need help :)
  7. Fogbuster

    Fogbuster Rookie

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    Sh-h-h. Let 'em play.


    ;)
  8. PressCoverage

    PressCoverage Banned

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    the Onion is the best...

    without a doubt, this is my all-time favorite Onion story:

    Yankees ensure 2003 pennant by signing every player in Major League Baseball

    NEW YORK—With a week to go before pitchers and catchers report for spring training, the New York Yankees shored up their pitching, hitting, and defense Monday by signing every player in professional baseball.

    "We'd like to welcome the entire roster of Major League Baseball into the Yankees family," said team owner George Steinbrenner, watching as the franchise's 928 newest additions held up their pinstripes at a Yankee Stadium press conference. "With these acquisitions, we are in position to finally nab that elusive 27th World Series title."

    Sports reporters were not surprised by the move.

    "This is not entirely unexpected," New York Times baseball writer Murray Chass said. "When the Yankees followed up their signing of Japanese slugger Hideki 'Godzilla' Matsui by annexing Cuba for use as a Triple-A farm club, it was clear that Steinbrenner was willing to do whatever it takes to win."

    By noon, Yankees GM Brian Cashman had signed the entire National League and most of the American League to multi-year contracts. Some 10 hours later, the final opposing player, Texas Rangers shortstop Alex Rodriguez, had been acquired by the Yankees, who bought out the remainder of his $252 million contract for $300 million.

    "It's an honor to be part of this team," said catcher Benito Santiago, picked up from the San Francisco Giants as insurance in case catchers Jorge Posada, Ivan Rodriguez, and Mike Piazza all go down with injuries. "It's a surprise, certainly, but I'd be crazy to turn down the opportunity to play on what is, by default, the greatest team in baseball."

    Yankees manager Joe Torre, whose pitching rotation, prior to the mass signing, lacked a clear seventh ace, now has the luxury of starting each of his hurlers twice a season.
  9. Fogbuster

    Fogbuster Rookie

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    :rofl:

    Too funny!!
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2007
  10. fleabassist1

    fleabassist1 Rookie

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    #12 Jersey

    Haha - I suscribe to the podcast. It's HALARIOUS
  11. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Jesus Jumping H Christ Almighty God, you've finally posted something that makes sense.
    :bricks: :bricks:

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