http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=patriots/070912&sportCat=nfl As news continues to develop regarding allegations that the Patriots spied on the Jets during Sunday's game at the Meadowlands, Page 2 tapped into its extensive network of sources to reveal further details of New England's espionage. â€¢ In a marketing coup through stadium sponsor Gillette, all Gillette razors sold nationwide are bugged and outfitted with GPS devices. â€¢ Each one of Asante Samuel's dreadlocks is a stick of dynamite. â€¢ Laurence Maroney's gold teeth come from his apprenticeship under Jaws. Kurt Snibbe â€¢ Tom Brady can burn through locks with his smoldering eyes. â€¢ The apostrophe in Donte' Stallworth's name is actually is a listening device. â€¢ Vince Wilfork conceals a surveillance van underneath his jersey. â€¢ Former wide receiver Reche Caldwell's eyeballs were actually surveillance cameras, but like his hands, they malfunctioned in the AFC Championship Game. â€¢ Bill Belichick has hired Bill Belichick to maintain surveillance on Bill Belichick. (No one else can be trusted to handle such a sensitive assignment.) â€¢ Belichick has the wives of 24 NFL coaches on his payroll. â€¢ Defensive lineman Le Kevin Smith, offensive lineman Logan Mankins and wide receiver Jabar Gaffney are clearly using ridiculous aliases. Kurt Snibbe â€¢ Team bus equipped with smoke screen and oil slick devices. â€¢ Adalius Thomas was signed from the Ravens to head New England's organized crime division. â€¢ Ted Johnson knew too much, and we suspect Belichick had his memory erased. â€¢ The entire Cincinnati Bengals' roster has been outfitted with tracking bracelets. â€¢ An operative working inside the Dolphins organization executed Miami's trade for 37-year-old quarterback Trent Green. â€¢ WR/DB/KR Troy Brown is a shape-shifter who can spy by becoming players on other teams. â€¢ Tedy Bruschi is a superhero (but that's no secret). â€¢ Wide receiver Wes Welker was signed primarily because he's able to fit in crawl spaces and doggie doors at opposing teams' headquarters.