Welcome to PatsFans.com

This and That (The Real Deal)

Discussion in 'PatsFans.com - Patriots Fan Forum' started by Zeus, Jan 11, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Zeus

    Zeus PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2007
    Messages:
    999
    Likes Received:
    37
    Ratings:
    +81 / 1 / -0

    1. The Real Deal - Wild Card weekend did nothing to advance Commissioner Blockhead’s dimwitted idea to expand the playoff field. For the most part, the losers looked like they didn’t belong in the tournament. There’s reason to expect better – much better – with the divisional playoffs this week.


    2. Playoffs Make Strange Bedfellows – We’ll all spend Saturday afternoon rooting for the Baltimore Ravens, an idea that makes me want to take a long, hot shower with industrial strength caustic detergents and a huge wire brush. It is a strange world indeed that regards a 37 year old man performing something called a “Squirrel Dance” to be a profound and enduring act of leadership. (This is a stark contrast to Tom Brady’s pre-game ritual – “All right, let’s go fellas.”) Still, a victory by the Ravens on Saturday would only heighten the frenzy of Sunday afternoon in Foxboro.


    3. Choose Your Poison - In a few short months, sports fans in the District of Columbia have criticized their baseball team for mothballing franchise starting pitcher Steven Strasburg during the playoffs and their football team for sending franchise QB RG III into the heat of playoff battle with his knee dangling my the merest thread of remaining ligament. You can't have it both ways. In the aftermath, Redskins coach Mike Shanahan (University of Weird) came off as lame and clueless. Hard to imagine that Redskin owner and part-reptile Dan (Call Me Mr.) Snyder is amused.


    4. Permanent Ignore - Much ado about Dan Shaughnessy’s slap job on the Texans this week. CHB continues to recycle tired old tropes with alarming frequency, an insult to his employer and to whatever readers haven’t already become disgusted with this nonstop torrent of drivel. There is a big difference between being an iconoclast and a knee-jerk contrarian. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtMV44yoXZ0 His dismissal of anything he doesn't like as arrogance or hubriis is about as condescending as it gets. And his characterization of Belichick’s coaching as the “joyless pursuit of excellence” is just priceless since Shaughnessy himself despises nearly everything associated with sports – players, coaches, owner and fans alike. Count me out - I'm done with it. Time for Dan to go away and find something else to do.


    5. Offseason Antics in the AFC Least- Free from the daunting responsibilities posed by playoff competition, the other members of the AFC East have intrepidly set off to better their lot in life in intriguing ways.

    • The Bills search for a new head coach was marked by a distinct air of fatalism. The hiring of Syracuse coach Doug Marrone is primarily motivated by a desire to minimize moving expenses. Given the Bills’ sorry history of utter ineptitude in judging coaching talent, why bother spending the money to move some unqualified boob in from out of state when you can give the job to a similarly incompetent schmo who lives just two hours east on the New York Turnpike. Money saved, same outcome. That’s what we call good management.

    • In Miami, owner Stephen Ross has displayed a laser-like focus on getting the one thing the team requires to get to the next level: a new logo. Expect big things from the Dolphins once the new cartoon is in place.

    • Circumstances require that the jets’ become creative in their search for a new general manager. So far, the GM position has been turned down by every living, breathing sentient being who has ever even heard of American Professional Football. The list of remaining candidates includes cartoon characters (Ren, but not Stimpy), space aliens, and plankton.


    6. The Book of Moron – When The Big Boss has a King Hell case of The Stoopid, you’re pretty much screwed six ways to Sunday. That’s the way it is in Dallas and New Jersey, where epic mismanagement lays the groundwork for consistent, monumental failure at all levels of the organization with no end in sight. Which is as it should be.


    7. Just Asking - Speaking of which, you’d think the Madison Avenue advertising types would be in a complete froth about acquiring the services of the jets owner as a spokesperson for erectile dysfunctions medication. “This is Woody Johnson for Viagra …” has quite a ring to it.


    8. The Purity of Amateur Athletic Competition – The Football Computers and Formulae (aided and abetted by The Sporting Press) arrived at the determination that Notre Dame was Numero Uno in the Kingdom of College Football, setting the stage for the so-called National Championship game. This proved to be one of The Biggest Frauds ever perpetrated on the American Sporting Public (as well as ESPN and their sponsors who shelled out $gazillions for the right to televise this travesty). Alabama had to make a concerted effort not to score 100 points against the woefully under matched #1 team in the country and their screaming lunatic of a head coach. This is precisely what the Greedmeisters of the NCAA hath wrought - a meaningless spectacle all in the name of MONEY.

    9. Redneck Royal Couple – There’s a state law that requires the arranged marriage of the Tide’s QB1 and Miss Alabama (even if they are brother and sister). Somebody should have told Brent ahead of time.


    10. Go Patriots – Tough matchup, big game, crazy crowd. The players, coaches and fans have been waiting all year for this. Hope you enjoy the game with people you care about. And I really hope there's another game next week.
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2013
  2. patchick

    patchick Moderatrix Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2004
    Messages:
    11,506
    Likes Received:
    265
    Ratings:
    +589 / 6 / -0

    That was the single best-formatted post in PatsFans.com history.

    (Oh, and the content was good too.)
  3. robbomango

    robbomango Rookie

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2011
    Messages:
    2,915
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    Another great read, tnx Zeus. bump...
  4. PatsWickedPissah

    PatsWickedPissah PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2005
    Messages:
    23,065
    Likes Received:
    355
    Ratings:
    +799 / 8 / -10

    Disable Jersey

    I beg of Thee King of the Gods deliver unto us playoff games worthy of wasting our time on this weekend.
    We have suffered enough.
  5. SacPete1

    SacPete1 Rookie

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2008
    Messages:
    165
    Likes Received:
    4
    Ratings:
    +12 / 0 / -0

    Are you Bill Simmons?
  6. ctpatsfan77

    ctpatsfan77 PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2005
    Messages:
    20,429
    Likes Received:
    113
    Ratings:
    +204 / 4 / -5

    No one asked me. . . .:nooo:

    *sniff* :itsok:

    ;)
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2013
  7. Zeus

    Zeus PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2007
    Messages:
    999
    Likes Received:
    37
    Ratings:
    +81 / 1 / -0

    Are you sure? Recheck e-mail, voicemail and text messages just to be certain.
  8. Mike the Brit

    Mike the Brit Minuteman Target PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2004
    Messages:
    5,608
    Likes Received:
    105
    Ratings:
    +206 / 2 / -0

    Disable Jersey

    Good point ... spam folder!
  9. 37Harrison

    37Harrison Rookie

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,603
    Likes Received:
    4
    Ratings:
    +8 / 1 / -2

    #37 Jersey

    One of the more enjoyable posts I have read in a while, thanks!

    As far as the Jets are concerned regarding their GM search... I can't believe how laughable they have become. I mean the Jags have been able to land their GM (Caldwell, one of the candidates the Jets wanted) and they are located in Jacksonville! Small market, terrible team, lacking fan base... yet Caldwell found the Jags job to be more attractive than the one in NY. Hilarious!

    As far as the Broncos - Raven game, I am torn. I think the Pats matchup better against the Broncos than the Ravens. There is just something about that Ravens D which gives TFB fits. The Pats typically handle the Broncos D (as of late) and I'm not as worried about Peyton as maybe some other people seem to be. However, hosting the game against the Ravens seems to be the ideal situation, idk, like I said, I'm torn on this game.
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2013
  10. BlitzFritz

    BlitzFritz Rookie

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2006
    Messages:
    734
    Likes Received:
    4
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0

    laughing out loud bout the AFC East!

    -- FRITZ


  11. sc293

    sc293 PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2010
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    Awesome as always! Love the term "Commissioner Blockhead" - it's just so fitting :youtheman:
  12. patfanken

    patfanken On the Roster

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2005
    Messages:
    5,676
    Likes Received:
    141
    Ratings:
    +281 / 13 / -8

    #91 Jersey

    Informed content- CHECK

    Wide variety of subject matter - CHECK

    Correct spelling, grammar, and subtext - CHECK

    Proper amount of irony and sarcasm -CHECK

    Laugh out loud, shots of humor - CHECK

    I think you hit all the buttons on this one Zeus. If you don't write for a living, you should be.
  13. Gwedd

    Gwedd PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2007
    Messages:
    4,969
    Likes Received:
    61
    Ratings:
    +110 / 0 / -1

    #61 Jersey

    Regarding the other teams in the AFCE.......

    One might be forgiven for thinking that perhaps the owners of these teams were intentionally under-hiring in order to increase tax write-offs through losses. I mean, seriously, could anyway not intentionally mismanage those three teams as well as has been done these past few years?

    It's almost as if the owner(s) hired a solid PR staff and told them to do just enough to keep the fans in the seats, but NOT enough to actually win the division or get into the playoffs.

    If you wrote a script about any of those three teams, honestly portraying their past ten seasons, you'd be shown the door by the production team, because no one would believe that it could be that bad.

    To those three owners and their hirelings I say "Keep it up, fellahs! You're doing a swell job!" :D
  14. fair catch fryar

    fair catch fryar Rookie

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2007
    Messages:
    3,114
    Likes Received:
    4
    Ratings:
    +6 / 0 / -0

    No Jersey Selected

    Either option is a tough match-up, but I'd rather see the Ravens in Foxboro where BB/Brady can send Ray Lewis and his Ratbirds flying off into the sunset once and for all. Besides, there is a good chance I will end up at Gillette myself to see my first Pats playoff game.

    P.S. Great thread Zeus!
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2013
  15. Zeus

    Zeus PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2007
    Messages:
    999
    Likes Received:
    37
    Ratings:
    +81 / 1 / -0

    My big concern with playing the Broncos is that, being a road game against Peyton Manning, the officials would be exposed to a particularly virulent strain of Pass Interference against Ellis Hobbs Syndrome.
  16. Raymond

    Raymond Rookie

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2008
    Messages:
    1,260
    Likes Received:
    10
    Ratings:
    +21 / 0 / -1

    No Jersey Selected

    Another home run by Zeus.

    [​IMG]
  17. PatsWickedPissah

    PatsWickedPissah PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2005
    Messages:
    23,065
    Likes Received:
    355
    Ratings:
    +799 / 8 / -10

    Disable Jersey

    i was in a good mood today for this weekend until your horrific reminder.

    Damn the gods!
  18. Gwedd

    Gwedd PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2007
    Messages:
    4,969
    Likes Received:
    61
    Ratings:
    +110 / 0 / -1

    #61 Jersey


    Ye Gods....... I had also somehow managed to block that from my thoughts.

    But yeah....... the refs always seem to come down on Manning's side whenever he's in the playoffs. Especially when facing New England.
  19. PatsWickedPissah

    PatsWickedPissah PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2005
    Messages:
    23,065
    Likes Received:
    355
    Ratings:
    +799 / 8 / -10

    Disable Jersey

    I shudder at the prospect of the blizzard of new rule changes should the NE Patriots best Manning in Denver in the AFCCG
  20. Petersen23

    Petersen23 Rookie

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2012
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    #24 Jersey

    Well written sir... enjoyed it very much- :D
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

unset ($sidebar_block_show); ?>