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This and That (19th Nervous Breakdown)

Discussion in 'PatsFans.com - Patriots Fan Forum' started by Zeus, Feb 3, 2012.

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  1. Zeus

    Zeus PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    1. Here It Comes - In the immediate aftermath of the AFC Championship game, I left Gillette Stadium feeling as though my body had spent the last several hours hooked up to a large truck battery with jumper cables. The excess voltage still cackled through my overloaded central nervous system, synapses completely (and perhaps irreparably) fried, throat raw, vocal chords shredded and useless. As the bye week wore on, little by little, things got back to normal. Sometime last Sunday, I reached equilibrium for a brief moment, whiling nursing a Guinness at Paddy's in West Newton. But then, I became aware of a hum, imperceptibly faint at first, but steadily building as the days wore on. By now, it's loud enough to be wholly distracting, making it nearly impossible to work or sleep or do much of anything else for that matter. By the time kickoff is at hand on Sunday night, it will be a deafening, full throated roar. Here we go again - The 19th Game approaches.


    2. Make It Stop - I'd rather get hit in the face repeatedly with a bowling ball or spend a weekend locked in a mini-van with an angry rhinoceros than have to watch the @#*$&*$ David Tryee Helmet Catch or the subsequent Plexiglass game winning TD pass even once. Over the past ten days, every channel in the nearly infinite universe of cable and satellite television is running an endless feedback loop of the twin nightmares over and over AND OVER again. Mental health experts have privately expressed grave concern, labeling the cumulative effects of prolonged exposure to such profound psychological trauma as being similar to repeated mass water-boarding of the indigenous population. I'm already experiencing an unsettling twitch and have started to drool uncontrollably out of the right side of my mouth. There have been reports of gangs armed with baseball bats and pipe wrenches storming Best Buy and other consumer electronics retailers, pulverizing every television in sight. Without humanitarian intervention, by Sunday we can expect mass hysteria as people take to the streets in a psychotic rage. Citizens are being advised to unplug all electrical appliances and cover themselves in heavy blankets in a cold dark place in their basement. Until April.


    3. Game Breakdown (Cliff Notes Version) - The Sporting Press is desperate to make the game a rematch of Super Bowl XLII, but it is not. The patchwork New England secondary will have its hands full with the talented Giant receivers. The Patriots' defensive line has emerged as a strength in the closing weeks of the season and should be able to put considerable pressure on the vulnerable offensive line of the Giants. Still, Manning is smart, tough and clutch, more clutch in fact than his more polished older brother. On offense, New England has a potent short to medium range passing game and a Warp Speed Fast Break Hurry Up Offense that bedazzles defenses by giving them amazingly diverse looks (using the same personnel) in rapid fire succession. New York cannot rely solely on its pass rush as it did four years ago because 1) the Moss centric deep passing game is a thing of the past and 2) the 2011 Patriot offensive line is clearly superior to the 2008 edition.


    4. Mismatch, Monumental - The Patriots, who barely managed to eke out 15 wins so far, scare no one. On the other hand, Big Blue has an overwhelming advantage in talent, coaching, and (hey - pay attention here because this is a Big Deal) swagger. This was clearly demonstrated time and time again over the course of the 2011 season. (Ed. Note - Some may find this puzzling since the Giants did have seven losses and were actually outscored by their opponents. These anomalies are due to bad luck, injuries, poor officiating, even more bad luck and sunspots). The Conventional Wisdom is that the vastly superior Giants will stomp the bejeezus out of the overmatched, pathetic Patriots with the game being out of reach by the middle of the national anthem, much to the chagrin of Kelly Clarkson.


    5. Gronktourage - Associates of #87 seem to be running afoul of the Belichick Injury Omerta with alarming regularity. First, Papa Gronk spills the beans re: top secret high ankle sprain on local TV and hasn't been seen or heard from since. Next, Professional Dirt Bag Agent Drew (Scum of the Earth) Rosenhaus, noting that he doesn't want to say anything to upset Coach Belichick (hah!), says that Gronk would not be playing were this not the Super Bowl. (If only Rosenhaus would now disappear a la Papa Gronk, the world would be a truly better place.) We can only hope that Gronk has not shared the Patriots game plan with his mother, brothers or the guys he met at baggage claim at the airport. (Just a hunch on my part, but I'm not seeing the CIA as Gronk's post-retirement employer.)


    6. I'll Love You Always but I Love My $28 Million More - Once he unceremoniously heaved the Polians overboard, the now ubiquitous Irsay Jr. has suddenly morphed into a raging megalomaniac, trying to out-Jerry Jerry Jones. Irsay moved quickly and decisively to secure new GM Ryan Grigson, though Irsay made it abundantly clear that he - not Grigson - would: a) hire the new head coach; b) decide how the Colts would use the #1 pick in the upcoming draft; and c) make the final call on the Peyton Manning $28 million contract option (leaving Grigson with nothing to do other than figure out where someone might play golf in Indianapolis in January). The Sporting Press has embarked on a week long game of Whack-a-Mole with Irsay, who pops up every thirty seconds or so to say something else mind-numbingly stupid about future ex-Colt QB Manning. The Irsay Triangulation Maneuver involves keeping The Exceedingly Well Stocked Irsay Family Liquor Cabinet and A Television Camera in sight at all times. That Irsay now publicly fancies himself as the newly empowered Guardian of the Horseshoe suggests that his ego has inflated to Hindenburg-like proportions, with disastrous consequences for Colt fans who are in for at least a decade of ineptitude and utter irrelevance. No more Sunday Night Football for you.


    7. Meddlesome Owner Epidemic - Even Steelers President Art Rooney II has gotten into the act, firing offensive coordinator Bruce Arians. Since when does an owner (not named Jones or Irsay) fire a coordinator and where is Mike Tomlin while this palace intrigue is going on? Imagine what Shank Shaugnessy would say if that happened around here.


    8. Sterling Moore - Not sure why this wasn't a bigger story. A street free agent makes two game saving plays at the very end of the AFC Championship game. A bit of foreshadowing - back in the first quarter of the Denver playoff game, Moore broke up what looked to be a sure completion to Bronco WR Demaryius Thomas by slapping the ball from his hands at the last possible second. Moore has taken the coaching to heart and worked to apply the techniques he has been taught. The reason that more physically talented players like Darius Butler and Brandon Meriweather are long gone and hard to find is their unwillingness and/or inability to do what the coaches wanted them to do. Repeated mistakes and unreliability are sure-fire tickets out of town in the world of Bill Belichick.


    9. Barely Recognizable as Human - The New York tabloids have proven to be far more crass, vulgar and downright stupid than anyone could have possibly imagined. What an intellectual sewer (but with blue and white pom-poms). Are these writers and editors actually this stupid or are they simply pandering to the knuckle-dragging mouth breathers who thrive on this insultingly idiotic excrement? Hey Gary Myers and Todd Venezia - I bet you make your mamas proud.


    10. I Feel Good - The more the Giants talk, the better I feel. The less the Patriot talk, the better I feel. Coach Belichick and the Patriots have exuded an almost eerie sense of calm - I like the vibe. A lot.


    11. Let the Good Times Roll - Best wishes to all Patriots fans on Sunday. I hope you are with people you care about. I hope you enjoy the party. And, most of all, I hope you enjoy the game. Go Pats!
  2. Brady_to_Moss

    Brady_to_Moss Revis Island is here PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #95 Jersey

    Sunday after the AFC champ game...while i was standing at my seats...my whole body felt like it hurt..like i couldn't keep my breath...heart was going crazy...god i don't know what i will do if it comes down to final 2 min again...(which it probably will...:eek::mad::eek:)..cry..hurt...idk....if they win in final 2 min..then awesome..if they lose it in last 2 min...i don't know what i will do
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2012
  3. RelocatedPatFan

    RelocatedPatFan Rookie

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    Great use of paragraphs and bold text, nice clean layout and easy to read.
    I put myself through some pain watching some of ESPN this week (hey I work from home mostly and can so this).

    One thing I noticed on their shows is they had lots of current Giant players on their sets and no Patriots (well only ex Patriots). I'm sure they tried, but BB probably wouldn't allow it (hence ESPN continues to attack with some little semblance of balance).

    But, I guess all the chest pounding is what it is about for them. Mayne they think it worked well last time, so this time they'll do the same. The biggest difference, is BB and TB, .. learned about being tight from what we have heard and are definitely preparing well.

    The only x faacor is the Gronkle i think and even then I'm sure BB has some back up plans and some nasty surprises for the Giants. Though Solder releasing ala Mike Vrable probably won't be that much of a surprise.
  4. PatsFaninAZ

    PatsFaninAZ Rookie

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    Great post.

    Regarding the Tyree catch, I guess the good news is that whatever Sunday brings, I expect that we're finally done with that as anything other than a highlight that gets mentioned when talking about cool super bowl plays, but with these two teams writing a new script -- win or lose -- I think we'll probably be able to put that one at least in the back drawer.

    I've been trying to stay away from as much media and discussion as possible the last two weeks. I had a mini-vacation, so it was easy not to think about football. My stress level, though, is starting to creep up there.

    I can't stop focusing on the fact that they already beat us once and are a better and healthier team now. Our secondary is not fixed. One of our best players is hobbled. They can get a good pass rush with 4 players and Brady throwing into 7 defensive backs without a big strong guy who can stretch the field vertically with speed seems like a problem.

    But what do I know? The experts have us as favorites. I just need this game to start. One way or the other. After an hour, we'll know a lot. Maybe we'll be saying, "they are who we thought they were." Maybe we'll see that this one looks different. I don't know. Either way, it needs to start soon.
  5. italia44

    italia44 Rookie

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    Zeus has spoken...."so let it be written"..."so let it be done":youtheman:
  6. Keyser Söze

    Keyser Söze Rookie

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    My heart when fail if Manning has the ball last with a chance to win. NOT AGAIN!
  7. PatsWickedPissah

    PatsWickedPissah PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Disable Jersey

    So say we all!

    Attached Files:

    Last edited: Feb 3, 2012
  8. kurtinelson

    kurtinelson Rookie

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    I hear you brother Zues, but now is a time for healing. We are all a raft on a river. We can not change the past, but only live in the moment. Football and the quest for victory are eternal. Let the Tyree and Plexico catches wash over you. There will always be a next play, a next half, a next season.
  9. Halifax_Pats_Fan

    Halifax_Pats_Fan Rookie

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    ...great post.

    What is in the past is in the past, we learn from it and move on. That is really all there is to it.

    As far as Sunday (the day after tmr...ooooooo), all I want from this team is their best football. If we play mistake free and put out a real solid effort, then I would accept a loss, as hard as it is for me to say.

    Leave it out on the field, as a fan I can't ask for anything more than that after this season.

    We have had a wonderful year so far. Give us your best football, and let's see where we are after 60 minutes...
  10. Zeus

    Zeus PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    As the master (BB) has suggested throughout the week, you are indeed wise to live in the moment.
  11. robbomango

    robbomango Rookie

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    Zeus post = Kraken is officially released

    [​IMG]

    Big tnx, great read
  12. Joker

    Joker PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    we are but your loyal subjects, O mighty Zeus...let the red blood flow as the white lightning strikes from the blue skies above...GO PATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2012
  13. Off The Grid

    Off The Grid Rookie

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    #3 Jersey

    Seriously.

    That was a freaking MASTERPIECE, Brother Zeus.

    A freaking MASTER...PIECE.
  14. Zeus

    Zeus PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Couldn't agree more.
  15. DarrylS

    DarrylS PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Very well played...
  16. Pat the Pats Fan

    Pat the Pats Fan Rookie

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    Aah, a Battlestar reference.....excellent:rocker:
  17. SVN

    SVN Rookie

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    In case you havent seen the tyree catch this week...here is another chance

    Sneak peek: NBC's Super Bowl on-air pregame rundown

    :bricks:
  18. Zeus

    Zeus PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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