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Things you must believe to be a Republican

Discussion in 'Political Discussion' started by Zuma, Dec 21, 2005.

  1. Zuma

    Zuma Rookie

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    (borrowed from another site)

    1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

    2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

    3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

    4. "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

    5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all humankind without regulation.

    6. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

    7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

    8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

    9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

    10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

    11. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

    12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

    13. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

    14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

    15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is a solid defense policy.

    16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

    17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

    18. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

    19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.

    20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist; but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2005
  2. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    DAMN GOOD POST, GOD BLESS YOU.
  3. Zuma

    Zuma Rookie

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    Thank you...
  4. PatsFanInEaglesLand

    PatsFanInEaglesLand Rookie

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    #37 Jersey

    Wow that post was original, Jason Blaire's spirit lives well on the left.
  5. Patters

    Patters Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Putting On My Moderator's Hat

    Lest I get accused of showing bias, just a reminder: Please provide a link when quoting from another site, and quote no more than four paragraphs.
  6. Zuma

    Zuma Rookie

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    My mistake. I will be carefull not to incur any further infractions.
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2005
  7. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    HOT DAMN, GO GET EM PATTERS.

    PS
    IT WAS IN THE NEWS THIS WEEK THAT "CHRISTmas FOOD" ALL THE STUFF WITH THE SUGAR AND ALL THE OTHER TASTY TREATS CAUSES "FAMILY FIGHTS".
    I WAS GOING TO WRITE A STORY ABOUT A FAMILY IN "SOUTH MULLUCA" THAT DESTROYED THEIR HOME AND KILLED THEIR NEIGHBORS GOAT AFTER EATING "CHRISTmas" CANDY BUT AFTER THINKING ABOUT IT I DECIDED IT WOULDN'T BE VERY "LIBERAL" TO "STEROTYPE" "THESE PEOPLE"

    MAYBE I'LL WRITE ONE ABOUT THE BUSH FAMILY AND THEIR "FONDA KERRY DART BOARD"
  8. gomezcat

    gomezcat It's SIR Moderator to you Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Well said, sir! Liberal lies, the lot of 'em! :D
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2005

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