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The Relationship Rules

Discussion in 'The PatsFans.com Pub' started by gomezcat, May 23, 2007.

  1. gomezcat

    gomezcat It's SIR Moderator to you Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Sent to me by my best friend, a female, who prides herself on having trained me to be suitable boyfriend material for Her Highness. She reserves the right to test me on these rules at any time. My Attorney advises me not to comment on the validity or fairness of said rules....

    1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

    2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

    3. No Male can possible know all THE RULES.

    4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately
    change some of THE RULES.

    5. The Female is never wrong.

    6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant
    misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

    7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the
    misunderstanding.

    8. The Female can change her mind at any time.

    9. The Male must never change his mind without the express written consent
    of The Female.

    10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

    11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to
    be angry or upset.

    12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she
    wants him to be angry or upset.

    13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

    14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she
    said.

    15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the
    heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

    16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must
    cater to her every whim.

    17. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.

    18. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule 5.
  2. Tunescribe

    Tunescribe PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #61 Jersey

    An excellent, 18-point argument on behalf of men being the dominant sex. I'd rather sit in a rudderless sailboat during a hurricane than abide by those rules.
  3. Terry Glenn is a cowgirl

    Terry Glenn is a cowgirl Banned

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    F_ _ K that theory... I live by my own rules.
  4. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Not getting any then?
  5. gomezcat

    gomezcat It's SIR Moderator to you Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Indeed. I love the way that people rail against stuff that is clearly meant to be humorous. :)
  6. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    See I can't really gauge whether we're just plain wrong to find humor in everyday life, seeing that I'm Unaware :singing: :singing: :singing:
  7. Michael

    Michael Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #12 Jersey

    Why Men Are Just Happier People!

    Your last name stays put.

    The garage is all yours.

    Wedding plans take care of themselves.

    Chocolate is just another snack.

    You can be president.

    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

    Car mechanics tell you the truth.

    The world is your urinal.

    Wrinkles add character.

    Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.

    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

    One mood, ALL the time.

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

    You can open all your own jars.

    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be yourfriend.

    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

    Everything on your face stays its original color.

    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
    bolt.

    You almost never have strap problems in public.

    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

    You don't have to shave below your neck.

    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45
    minutes.
  8. gomezcat

    gomezcat It's SIR Moderator to you Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Michael, you have made my day. I shall copy and paste that to previously mentioned friend. It will give her husband a laugh, at least. :D
  9. Terry Glenn is a cowgirl

    Terry Glenn is a cowgirl Banned

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    I get it... you have to know psychology. They don't make the rules... I do.
  10. Terry Glenn is a cowgirl

    Terry Glenn is a cowgirl Banned

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    Don't get me wrong, I DO see the humor, I get it... I just don't subscribe to it.

    I do have a sense of humor though.

    Hahahahaha... carry on.

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