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Rhode Island school bans father-daughter dances, says they break the law

Discussion in 'Political Discussion' started by Real World, Sep 19, 2012.

  1. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    What a spoiled, self-centered, entitled society we've become. So because this one girl doesn't have a "daddy" to go with, her and her mom decided to destroy things for everyone else. What a society we're becoming.



    Rhode Island school bans father-daughter dances, says they break the law

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    Following a complaint filed by the ACLU, school officials in Cranston, R.I. have ended gender specific activities like father-daughter dances and mother-son ballgames to comply with state gender discrimination laws. WJAR's Katie Davis reports.


    By NBC News staff

    The school system in Cranston, R.I., announced it is banning traditional father-daughter and mother-son activities, saying they are a violation of the state's gender discrimination law, the Providence Journal reported late Monday.


    Superintendent Judith Lundsten told the newspaper the decision was in response to a complaint from the American Civil Liberties Union on behalf of a single mother who said her daughter was not able to attend a father-daughter dance.

    “This is 2012 and they [public schools] should not be in the business of fostering blatant gender stereotypes,” Steven Brown of the Rhode Island ACLU told WPRO News.


    Rhode Island school bans father-daughter dances, says they break the law - U.S. News
  2. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    I will only say that I can't say anything, I will get to worked up.

    America is going completely nuts.
  3. RI Patriots fan

    RI Patriots fan Rookie

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    Why don't they just change the dance to parent/child or guardian/parent-child?

    So now a kid can take whomever they want to the dance....problem solved.
  4. Holy Diver

    Holy Diver Rookie

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    Then who would the punduits have to complain about?
  5. PatsWSB47

    PatsWSB47 Rookie

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    #12 Jersey

    I think the whole idea behind these kind of events is promote bonding between father/daughter, mother/son etc. Sometimes a daughter is left out of a fathers world due to work or incompatible interests etc. Sometimes it's hard for either to find the right opportunity to take down certain barriers. There has been a lot of literature that supports this kind of therapy and I think the ACLU is doing more harm than good with this.
  6. PatsWSB47

    PatsWSB47 Rookie

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    #12 Jersey

    I don't like this. The father/daughter relationship is different than a mother/daughter relationship. As a matter of fact I think each gender has a special relationship that is unique to each parent and child with each other. "I can't have a father dance so no one else can" is immature and ignorant as far as i'm concerned. I feel bad that some people can't enjoy what some others can but to deny a special, unique bond of someone else is just plain wrong. To manually break that up by destroying the special purpose for the dance is selfish.
  7. RI Patriots fan

    RI Patriots fan Rookie

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    Who says that a Father and Daughter can't go to this dance together? No one is saying that Fathers and daughters still can't go to the dance together.

    If you're a Father and you have a daughter, does it really matter who the other children bring or is it more important that you're with your daughter?
  8. Mrs.PatsFanInVa

    Mrs.PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #12 Jersey

    It pretty much says that's what they're going to do.

    You're right...problem solved!
  9. Mrs.PatsFanInVa

    Mrs.PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #12 Jersey

    And a "family" dance would preclude a father from taking his daughter for some reason?

    If a parent and a child have a "special relationship that is unique to each parent and child with each other" I don't see how attending or not attending one dance a year is going to affect that relationship. The relationship is either special or it is not - going to a dance didn't make it and not going to a dance isn't going to break it.
  10. PatsWSB47

    PatsWSB47 Rookie

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    #12 Jersey

    Of course they can but creating a special father/daughter dance is designed both honor the father-daughter relationship and in many cases be the ice breaker to get dads and daughters together. I think these kinds of events are Bringing other elements and family members along can weaken that goal.
  11. wistahpatsfan

    wistahpatsfan Rookie

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    I can't imagin that a dance would bring a father and daughter together. Maybe I'm wrog, but a dad should already have a good relationship with his daughter, as trying as it can be through the tween years. There's times when I could have sold my daughter into slavery when she became a teen but it passes. I can't remember how a dance would have made things any better. Am I missing something experience-wise?
  12. PatsWSB47

    PatsWSB47 Rookie

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    #12 Jersey

    The point is that many fathers and daughters don't have that kind of relationship. These events, whether its mother-son, father-daughter are meant to bring such people together and to specifically nurture that particular relationship. Being exclusive can be very healthy and therapeutic and I'll go as far to say I think these all started in order to get dads involved with their daughters. I think it's a good and respectable tradition. Now it's been twisted into some kind of bigoted, selfish and intolerant law breaking discrimination thing. To me is just another "here's where you're being insensitive" dressing downs by do-gooders. A thing has been turned into a bad thing.
  13. chicowalker

    chicowalker Rookie

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    Let's say they are a good idea -- I have no reason to think otherwise, and I don't think that's relevant to the issue at hand here.

    As others have noted, though, how would it impair a father / daughter relationship if another girl brought her mother, uncle, whoever her family thought appropriate?

    This actually sounds a little like the gay marriage debate. I don't see how a straight couple's marriage is in any way harmed by the existence of gay marriage, and I don't see how the ability to bring a guardian who isn't the father would harm the relationships or bonding b/t the other fathers and daughters.
  14. Mrs.PatsFanInVa

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    #12 Jersey

    I don't know...maybe it's just me and I've only got sons so I don't know...I did have a dad, though, and I find the thought that a father and his daughter would even need an "ice breaker" to be almost heartbreakingly sad.

    My dad was definitely NOT a dancer....nor was I, for that matter....but, in any case, he would not have attended a dance with me - but we did make bird houses in the basement together and he taught me how to fish, rototill a garden, catch preying mantis bugs and how to smile at strangers - and, on special occasions, he'd let me walk his mailman route with him, pushing his cart while he climbed up and down one thousand steps....he never let me drive his car until he was dying - but I understood - and right before he died he gave me his timex, the one he never took off, and told me to watch the time because it runs out too quickly.

    That's a relationship - it didn't need a school dance.
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2012
  15. PatsWSB47

    PatsWSB47 Rookie

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    #12 Jersey

    They should but many don't for many reasons. A teen dance may be a bit too late but I can see how younger at younger ages, disengaged dads could benefit tremendously by this. What do you thing the intentions were for coming up with these things?
  16. PatsWSB47

    PatsWSB47 Rookie

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    #12 Jersey

    I hear you but I don't think you're hearing me. A school dance could be fun or may not be fun for dads and daughters that had similar Relationships you and your dad had. I believe schools have these events to bring dads and daughters together. I think its very plausible that PTA groups and possibly school boards noticed that dads were not involved with their daughters and a dance was a way to bring them together. It just wouldn't be as meaningful if the moms went. I think if that were the case fathers may even bow out which would defeat the whole purpose. In many ways the dance is just a stepping stone to hopefully jump start disengaged dads. The dance isn't the relationship as you say but it can be the start of one. Do you think the tradition has been on the wrong side of society all this time?
  17. Patters

    Patters Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    To me it's really old fashioned. Very little would be lost by having a dance for parents and other caregivers and their children, whether the adult is an uncle, a foster parent, a mom, a grandparent, a stepfather, or another important adult in a young person's life. Does it make any sense to say to a kid, "Sorry, your dad died in Iraq, so you can't come to the dance with your uncle"? While something might be lost, the reality is that a family dance would not preclude fathers and daughter from dancing their or at a private family party. The number of dads who don't have relationships with their daughters but who would attend a school dance is probably very very small.
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2012
  18. scout

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    #15 Jersey

    This happens in golf all the time. A club will promote a father and son tournament instead of a Sr/Jr event. So, if my daughter and I want to compete we can't because she's a female. Same is true of any gender discrepancy. Pretty lame.
  19. wistahpatsfan

    wistahpatsfan Rookie

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    I just can't imagine having a disconnect with my daughters. It's something I take for granted. I guess there's some people who would have trouble with that relationship for reasons I didn't consider but have now. Thanks. I see your point.
  20. PatsWSB47

    PatsWSB47 Rookie

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    #12 Jersey

    Maybe I'm wrong but in the case with daughters without fathers allowances are made for a substitute to fill in. If that's not the case then I think you have a point. This reminds me of an old Leave it to Beaver episode(not sure how I remember this). there was going to be a father-student field trip. One of the kids asked "what about about kids that don't have a father" and the teacher said, "well then maybe an uncle could come" Moms have traditionally been the ones that were involved in school events. I think this dance was one way to get dads involved. If that has lost its popularity that is one thing and the tradition can die a natural death. Shutting it down because of political correctness and bogus discrimination charges is messed up.

    A father-daughter dance or a mother-son baseball game theme or whatever special exclusive event doesn't preclude other opportunities(I think that''s a false choice) for bonding but it does make it a special time. It's a statement dance or game if you will. It's not meant to be dismissive of anyone. Is take your daughter to work day discrimination? Glory Stienem was all for that and so was I. I can't see the harm in it except for jealous, victim syndrome sufferers.

    The ACLU and this school jumped the shark on this one. One single person complains and the whole tradition is determined to be illegal and is ended. While a sympathize with the girl that doesn't have a father, denying everyone else a special time won't heal her. I think that sets a bad example for kids too.
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2012

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