You are describing my own journey towards "Rex Respect."
I live in Manhattan and get the Daily News delivered to my doorstep every morning, so I've followed him closely for four years now, often more closely than I would like. For the first two years, like most Pats fans I just thought that Ryan was a buffoon (in fact, in all humility, I believe I was the first one to use the moniker "Wrecks" for the lad on this board).
But, as I've watched him over the last two years, I think he is a good HC who made the best Lemonade that he could out of a bunch of rotten lemons and deserves another chance with a rational organization, i.e., just about anywhere but the Jets.
I fault him for the following.
1) Losing control of the Locker Room last season. A "players' coach" doesn't do that. In his defense, he didn't have strong leadership in the Locker Room (no guys like Rodney and Brewski and Wilfork and, of course, TB), so things spiraled out of control; but, still, it shouldn't have happened. He re-established control in the offseason and got rid of a couple of bad apples.
2) Hiring Tony Sparano as OC. He had an abysmal record in Miami as HC and has never shown that he could be anything more than a good O Line Coach. He comes across as a low-class guy and, while Sanchez is no doubt a dud, he didn't help Mark at all. If he doesn't fire him the day after this season ends, I'll re-evaluate my view of Rex.
I do not fault Ryan for sticking with the Sanchize until the bitter end. The pressure on him from Tannenbaum and Woody to do so must have been significant, since they are stuck with a player whose cap hit no self-respecting team will take on as part of a trade.