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Politically incorrect jokes

Discussion in 'Political Discussion' started by Real World, Jun 11, 2007.

  1. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    I got this via email today, and thought some of you would get a chuckle out of them. Enjoy! :D

    What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

    Juan on Juan


    What is a Yankee?

    The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.


    What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?

    The position of the dirt bag



    Why is divorce so expensive?



    Because it's worth it.



    What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?



    Doughnuts



    Why is air a lot like sex?



    Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.



    What do you call a smart blonde?



    A golden retriever.



    What do attorneys use for birth control?



    Their personalities.



    What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?



    10 years and 45 lbs



    What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?



    45 minutes



    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?



    Through his chest with a sharp knife.



    Why do men want to marry virgins?



    They can't stand criticism



    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?



    Because those men already have boyfriends.



    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?



    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you



    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?



    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.



    Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?



    Because they have cotton balls.



    What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?



    A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.



    What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?



    "Are you sure it's mine?"



    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?



    Mace will do that to you.



    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?



    Everyone has the same DNA.



    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?



    Breasts don't have eyes.



    Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?



    Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.



    Where does an Irish family go on vacation?



    A different bar.



    Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?



    They named him "Sum Ting Wong".



    What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?



    A speech impediment.



    What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?



    They're hiring.



    What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?



    A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".



    How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?



    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!



    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?



    A northern fairytale begins - "Once upon a time ..."

    -A southern fairytale begins - "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh!t....



    Why is there no Disneyland in China ?



    No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
  2. 363839

    363839 PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Pretty funny stuff there RealWorld.
    Tough room.
  3. Terry Glenn is a cowgirl

    Terry Glenn is a cowgirl Banned

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    Some good ones Real...
  4. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    Hey, when you've already been called every name in the book, you can post stuff like this. :D

    Personally, I thought some of them were damn funny.
  5. DarrylS

    DarrylS PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Pretty good..
  6. sdaniels7114

    sdaniels7114 Rookie

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    My all-time favorite is

    "Why do brides wear white?"

    "So the dishwasher matches the fridge."
  7. Patters

    Patters Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Vrey funny. but those weren't so politically incorrect. That said, if the Pillsbury Dough Boy requests it, we will delete this thread. :)
  8. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    :rofl: I love it!
  9. Patters

    Patters Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    What kind of bee gives milk?


    .
    .
    .






    A booby.
  10. sdaniels7114

    sdaniels7114 Rookie

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    What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

    Nothin', you already told her twice.
  11. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    Ouch! :nono:

    :D
  12. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    I got a million of em, but I'm afraid to post them, I'll get banned, they're all from the forties and fifties.
    :eek:
  13. godef

    godef Rookie

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    What would you call it when an Italian woman has one leg shorter than the other?


    Ilene



    What's the difference between an Irish marriage and an Irish funeral?



    One drunk.


    What would you call it when an Japanese woman has one leg shorter than the other?


    Irene


  14. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    It's a joke thread HArry, if people get mad, they'll just close the thread. POST AWAY! ;)
  15. FreeTedWilliams

    FreeTedWilliams pfadmins PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #75 Jersey

    How is a Mexican and a cue ball alike????........................








    The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them.


    (Told to me by the court's Spanish interpreter)
  16. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?


    A. Anyone can roast beef.



    Where do you get virgin wool from?


    A. Ugly sheep.



    What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?


    A. They both circle Uranus looking for Black Holes.


    Did you hear about the new "divorced" Barbie doll that they're selling in stores now?


    A. It comes with all of Ken's stuff.


    How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to change a light bulb?


    A. None, let the b!tch cook in the dark.


    What's the difference between a woman and a computer?


    A. A computer only needs the information punched into it once.


    Why are women like condoms?


    A. They spend 90% of their time in your wallet, and 10% on your dink.


    What do you call a woman with no arms or legs on a bar-b-que grill?

    Patty


    What do you call a man with no arms or legs on a bar-b-que grill?

    Frank



    What do you call a man with no arms or legs in your mailbox?

    Bill


    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?

    Art!


    How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?


    They don't work in the future, either.



    Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?


    He heard boys' pants were half-off.


    Who does Michael Jackson consider to be a Perfect "10"?


    Two 5 year olds.


    How does an Italian get into an honest business?


    A. Usually through the skylight.



    What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?


    Canoes tip.


    If Tarzan and Jane were Italian, what would Cheetah be?


    A. The least hairy of the three.
  17. godef

    godef Rookie

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    That's not the version I've heard...

    Q. What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?


    A. They both race around Uranus knocking off Klingons.

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