I was thinking more along these lines (apologies to M. Python):
Media: Bring out your injured!
[clang]
Bring out your injured!
[clang]
Manweenie: Here's one.
Vilma: I'm not injured!
Media: What?
Manweenie: Nothing -- just report him as injured.
Vilma: I'm not injured!
Media: Here -- he says he's not injured!
Manweenie: Yes, he is.
Vilma: I'm not!
Media: He isn't.
Manweenie: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
Vilma: I'm getting better!
Manweenie: No, you're not -- you're knee will be toast in a moment.
Media: Oh, I can't report on him like that -- it's against regulations.
Vilma: I don't want to go on the injured list!
Manweenie: Oh, don't be such a baby.
Media: I can't report him...
Vilma: I feel fine!
Manweenie: Oh, do us a favor...
Media: I can't.
Vilma: I think I'll go for a walk.
Manweenie: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there
something you can do?
Vilma: I feel happy... I feel happy.
[wham to the knees with a shovel]
Manweenie: Ah, thanks very much.