Parody: Ted Wells Report (Sort of)

[raduray]

http://www.scribd.com/doc/260830094/Wells-Report-Sort-of-1

 

[hwc]

Man, I'm not sure how many Pats fans have the stomach for a parody Wells Report.

Hernandez murder trial: wrapped up
Deflategate investigation: still going

 

[supafly]

Boooooooo.........

 

[supafly]

Man, I'm not sure how many Pats fans have the stomach for a parody Wells Report.

Hernandez murder trial: wrapped up
Deflategate investigation: still going

Since you brought it up and all, I'm having some doubts in the Hernandez case--at least in the sense that he'll definitely be found guilty.

I certainly hope that the state has proven their case, but while I haven't watched much of it, I do believe that he may get off on this one. The combination of lack of motive AND murder weapon may be too much to overcome.

I'm not making any predictions, but I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if the state didn't meet their burden this time. I sure hope they did, b/c I'm really looking forward to seeing the face of his lying fiancee if/when the guilty verdict comes in.

 

[hwc]

Oh. He's gonna walk on this murder. They should have tried him on the drive-by murders first. Then, the cat Hernandez shot in the fact could have explained to the jury how he got disfigured when he testified last week. Especially, since he was in the car with Hernandez and was an eye-witness to the murders. Then, you have a motive in the Odin Lloyd murder. The prosecution tried this case with it's hand tied behind their backs. They'll get him on some gun charges on this one and then nail him the double murder in Boston. The cat that got shot in the face was a very solid witness.

 

[supafly]

Oh. He's gonna walk on this murder. They should have tried him on the drive-by murders first. Then, the cat Hernandez shot in the fact could have explained to the jury how he got disfigured when he testified last week. Especially, since he was in the car with Hernandez and was an eye-witness to the murders. Then, you have a motive in the Odin Lloyd murder. The prosecution tried this case with it's hand tied behind their backs. They'll get him on some gun charges on this one and then nail him the double murder in Boston. The cat that got shot in the face was a very solid witness.

I believe that you may be correct in your prediction that he won't beat BOTH murder charges, although that won't stop some people from speculating about him returning to football, etc.

Yes--I think the combo of lack of motive (huge victory for the defense in that ruling), and lack of murder weapon could allow him to go free.

 

[hwc]

Oh. He's not returning to football. I really don't think we'll need a SIGN THE BEAST thread on Hernandez for a very long time...

 

[Brit patriot]

Most cases are circumstantial...you very rarely have a case where the accused is blowing someone away on camer, whilst holding up two forms of I.D.

However, the lack of motive could be huge. Part of me thinks he will get second degree as a 'deal' verdict, to placate all members of the jury.

Everyone on that jury room will know that Aaron drove the car to that estate, and that he was partying after with the guys who blew away his 'pal;. That won't sit with the jury, and I think they will try and get him with something. This isn't Boston Legal where Alan tells idiots that black is white, and they just swallow it. They will try and take a common sense approach.

As for the double, he is done there...gun, car, witness, adios motherfecker!

 

[Tunescribe]

http://www.scribd.com/doc/260830094/Wells-Report-Sort-of-1

Whoever wrote that lives a life of leisure.

 

[SHOWTIME15]

c'mon man....

the actual wells report is going to be over 150 pages long (since that was what they did for the Incognito investigation). brace yourselves.

 

[scott99]

Can't believe Deflategate is taking longer than the Hernandez trial and conclusion. What an embarrassment for the NFL, all over some air in footballs. Should've taken 2 weeks at the most. Guilty or not.

 

[DarrylS]

The Hernandez hail mary by his defense team, that he witnessed the murder and is just a kid, has made me waiver about whether or not the state can prove his guilt. Prior to yesterdays bombshell, thought he would be guilty by death by a thousand paper cuts..

What I do not know is in this case can they retry it on a lesser charge, i.e. conspiracy or accessory after the fact?? Wonder how is buddies are all feeling as they await their trial?? betcha they wished they had testified against him.

High powered representation can make legal outcomes a lot different than expected..

 

[rookBoston]

Brilliant document. My favorite line is...

c) regardless of the actual conductuncovered during this investigation, and given the
rest of the League’s evident antipathy for the
Patriots, would the NFL be well served by imposing discipline against the Patriots, thereby serving to justify this investigation?

...lovely and apropos

I hope someone in the Well Commission and the NFL front office reads this document, so they can form some sense for the burden of proof they have to overcome to demonstrate to New England fans that they are in fact impartial and evenhanded.

 

[1960Pats]

I believe that you may be correct in your prediction that he won't beat BOTH murder charges, although that won't stop some people from speculating about him returning to football, etc.

Yes--I think the combo of lack of motive (huge victory for the defense in that ruling), and lack of murder weapon could allow him to go free.

Jets fans are celebrating the possibility that AH will get away with murdering Lloyd because they want the Pats to have to pay back his 40 million. They clearly have their priorities messed up.

 

[PatsFanSince74]

Whoever wrote that lives a life of leisure.

...and doesn't depend on writing to earn their living.

 

[patfanken]

http://www.scribd.com/doc/260830094/Wells-Report-Sort-of-1

That was entertaining, imaginative ,inventive, amusing, and WAY closer to a potential reality than most of us would like to believe.

 

[5thRing-Hunt]

This is the first thread I found about deflategate so I thought I would respond here.

Another week and nothing from Wells. How long will this take? This is rediculous

 

[supafly]

This is the first thread I found about deflategate so I thought I would respond here.

Another week and nothing from Wells. How long will this take? This is rediculous

Billable hours, my friend. Billable hours.

I certainly agree that it's taken too long, but after Wells pushed the limit with his 4 month "bullying" scandal, I am not remotely surprised.

If I were an atty in charge of the investigation from a major corporation such as the NFL, I'd probably be milking it as well.