OT: Unintentional Manning Joke....

[T-ShirtDynasty]

So a poster on the Indy board starts a thread:

Jesus worked as a blue collar carpenter.
Manning wears a blue uniform at work.

Jesus said "break this bread."
Manning said "Cut that meat."

Jesus was the son of God.
Manning is the son of a Saint.

Jesus was part of the Trinity.
Manning is part of the Triplets.


I am working on this list as a parody. Can anyone add any more?

And the first reply he gets back is:

Jesus never won a Super Bowl.............

 

[BruschiOnTap]

yeah but Jesus never threw his linemen under the bus either... although I recall an old legend concerning the Buddha's beautiful spiral passes

 

[PlattsFan]

yeah but Jesus never threw his linemen under the bus either... although I recall an old legend concerning the Buddha's beautiful spiral passes

"I'm trying to be a good Messiah here, but let's just say we had some protection problems among the twelve ... " *looks at Judas*

 

[T-ShirtDynasty]

"I'm trying to be a good Messiah here, but let's just say we had some protection problems among the twelve ... " *looks at Judas*

oh... tears down the face.

 

[dalero]

"I'm trying to be a good Messiah here, but let's just say we had some protection problems among the twelve ... " *looks at Judas*

That's some good stuff right there. Thanks for the chuckle.

 

[BruschiOnTap]

"I'm trying to be a good Messiah here, but let's just say we had some protection problems among the twelve ... " *looks at Judas*

I stand corrected! you've found the Gospel of Peyton

 

[Lloyd_Christmas]

"I'm trying to be a good Messiah here, but let's just say we had some protection problems among the twelve ... " *looks at Judas*

Very funny! Got a great laugh out of that one... my coworkers probably suspect I am listening to Larry the Cable guy or something... that was earlier.


That must make the Patriots the Romans since we crucify the Colts when we play them.

Jesus healed a man with seizures before hiking to his next sermon
Manning goes into seizures before hiking the ball

Jesus told the people that he would rebuild the temple in 3 days
Manning told Polian that he would have to rebuild the defense with 3 dollars

Jesus calmed the storm and stopped the winds on the red sea
Manning can't do anything unless he is in a climate controlled wind-free dome

Jesus walked on water
ESPN *thinks* Manning walks on water

Jesus said we should turn the other cheek
Manning just turns the ball over

Jesus turned water into wine
Manning turns the ball over, then whines

Jesus rode into Jerusalem on an A_S_S on Palm Sunday
Manning gets put on his every Sunday

 

[Willie55]

Getting prepared to be crucified by the Colts fans when he chokes again next year.

 

[Bill's Girl]

Very funny! Got a great laugh out of that one... my coworkers probably suspect I am listening to Larry the Cable guy or something... that was earlier.


That must make the Patriots the Romans since we crucify the Colts when we play them.

Jesus healed a man with seizures before hiking to his next sermon
Manning goes into seizures before hiking the ball

Jesus told the people that he would rebuild the temple in 3 days
Manning told Polian that he would have to rebuild the defense with 3 dollars

Jesus calmed the storm and stopped the winds on the red sea
Manning can't do anything unless he is in a climate controlled wind-free dome

Jesus walked on water
ESPN *thinks* Manning walks on water

Jesus said we should turn the other cheek
Manning just turns the ball over

Jesus turned water into wine
Manning turns the ball over, then whines

Jesus rode into Jerusalem on an A_S_S on Palm Sunday
Manning gets put on his every Sunday

OMG.....That is the funniest thing ever!

 

[Fanfrom1960]

Very funny! Got a great laugh out of that one... my coworkers probably suspect I am listening to Larry the Cable guy or something... that was earlier.


That must make the Patriots the Romans since we crucify the Colts when we play them.

Jesus healed a man with seizures before hiking to his next sermon
Manning goes into seizures before hiking the ball

Jesus told the people that he would rebuild the temple in 3 days
Manning told Polian that he would have to rebuild the defense with 3 dollars

Jesus calmed the storm and stopped the winds on the red sea
Manning can't do anything unless he is in a climate controlled wind-free dome

Jesus walked on water
ESPN *thinks* Manning walks on water

Jesus said we should turn the other cheek
Manning just turns the ball over

Jesus turned water into wine
Manning turns the ball over, then whines

Jesus rode into Jerusalem on an A_S_S on Palm Sunday
Manning gets put on his every Sunday

Those are hard to beat, but another take on the water one:

Jesus walked on water.
During a pass rush, Manning passes water.

Some very good parables you had there, to use a "biblical" word.

 

[Pat the Pats Fan]

Those are hard to beat, but another take on the water one:

Jesus walked on water.
During a pass rush, Manning passes water.

Some very good parables you had there, to use a "biblical" word.

Jesus has millions chanting his name on Sunday,

Manning when playing the Pats has thousands of Colts fans saying,
"Jeeeeesus,,,,,here we go again"

 

[PATSNUTme]

So a poster on the Indy board starts a thread:


And the first reply he gets back is:

OH MY GOD! ( keeping with the topic) You just posted an OT thread.

Why hasn't the thread god changed your botton to red? Maybe you are on triple secret probation.:singing:

 

[PatsFanInVa]

The Sermon in the Dome, From the Gospel of Manning:

Seeing the crowds, he went into the Dome, and when he sat down when they lost the coin toss, his disciples came to him. And he taught them, saying,

Blessed are the porous defense, for they force me to set records;

Blessed are those who mourn in the postseason, for they shall be comforted by my records;

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inhabit the Turf;

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for victory, for they shall be satisfied with mediocrity... if I set records.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall politely talk about the weather after the divisional round - or perhaps about my records.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall know how to make the rules more fair;

Blessed are the playmakers, for they shall earn rings. I bless them from afar;

Blessed are those who are persecuted for their passing records, for theirs is the reward after football, the chain restaurant or local car dealership;

Blessed are you when ESPN reviles you and persecutes you and utters all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account; for I gave the interview in the first place...
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I could go on, but then I'd miss my chance to throw in more parallel parables...

Jesus healed Mary. Manning "Hail Mary"s.

Jesus came not to abolish the law but to fulfill it. Manning came in 2004 not to abolish Ty Law, but to fulfill him.

Jesus' worth wrongly set at forty pieces of silver. Manning's worth wrongly set at over $100M.

Jesus: Will eventually return. He promised.
Manning: Will eventually get there. He promised.

Jesus: Overturned tables of moneychangers.
Manning: Regularly screws with Las Vegas oddsmakers.

Jesus: The people called to him, saying "Son of Man!"
Manning: The defense called to him, saying "Who's Your Daddy?"

Jesus: Three days and rose again in Heaven
Manning: Three and out in Foxborough

Jesus: "And a little child shall lead them"
Manning: "And a kicker shall put us over the top"

PFnV

 

[T-ShirtDynasty]

OH MY GOD! ( keeping with the topic) You just posted an OT thread.

Why hasn't the thread god changed your botton to red? Maybe you are on triple secret probation.:singing:

Oh you! You with your tongue almost permanently planted in cheek! You know the difference between an Off Topic OT and a Football (non-Patriot) OT! Besides look at some of these posts... this is becoming a classic Dolts thread!! (Too bad on their board it disintegrated into picking on a troll and debating the existence and race of Christ. PatsFans posters are doing MUCH better job with it. Hmmm... Go figure.)

Lloyd and PFinVA... ehhhhhhhhhhxcelent work!!

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inhabit the Turf;
PFnV

Maybe a tiny suggestion in your translation of ancient Indyese... I believe that verse goes: "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit an illegal contact rule emphasis"

 

[PlattsFan]

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit an illegal contact rule emphasis"

Ha! Of course, that's another ...

Jesus ran afoul of Roman Law.
Peyton ran afoul of Roman and Law.

 

[5 Rings for Brady!!]

Lloyd Christmas:

Jesus said to turn the other cheek,
Manning thought that's what the female trainer said......

 

[pats-blue]

"I'm trying to be a good Messiah here, but let's just say we had some protection problems among the twelve ... " *looks at Judas*

That is up for post of the year IMO.

 

[Tunescribe]

Ever hear of Pontius Polian?

 

[Tunescribe]

Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacekeepers."

Peyton said, "Blessed are the timekeepers." (officials)

 

[ctpatsfan77]

Jesus knew what was coming when he went to Gethsemane.
Peyton knows what's coming when he goes to Gillette.