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OT - How to Fix Soccer

Discussion in 'The PatsFans.com Pub' started by PatsFanInVa, Jun 20, 2006.

  1. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    1. No Goalkeeper (stole this one from a guy that wrote into USA Today)
    2. You can still only touch the ball with torso, head, and hands. But you can tackle any damn way you want, except possibly the "horse collar" and kicks or punches to the face. Actually those would improve the game too.
    3. Since this mutant form of soccer would begin in the U.S., call it "soccer," since everybody else is convinced that this 90-minute sprint-fest is called "football."

    Any other ideas?

    PFnV
  2. PATSNUTme

    PATSNUTme Paranoid Homer Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #75 Jersey

    OH, OH. An OT thread with no connection to football or the Patriots.

    I think I'll go make some coffee and sit back enjoy this one.
  3. Tunescribe

    Tunescribe PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #61 Jersey

    Hello, PatsFanInVa. By way of explanation: PATSNUTme is upset because you started an OT thread in the football forum unrelated to football. (He had several OT threads moved from this forum to the General Talk forum by moderators a while back and is still a bit raw from the experience.) Anyway, it probably is in your best interest to check out Ian's "sticky" above re., OT threads. We're trying to keep this forum free of OT clutter that belongs in other messageboard forums. Be cool.
  4. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Request Thread Move. My Apologies.

    Don't get the point of "OT" then, but that works for me. I didn't find a way to move it in the "Thread tools," so I'm assuming I've just created a task for the mods. Mea Culpa.

    PFnV
  5. IcyPatriot

    IcyPatriot ------------- PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #87 Jersey

    Soccer would be better played at 9 v 9 ... way better .... but FIFA changing rules would be like the Pope proclaiming Ganja Day.
  6. Flying Fungi

    Flying Fungi Rookie

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    whaddya mean? JP2 did that already...

    [​IMG]
  7. scout

    scout Rookie

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    #15 Jersey

    Since you broached the subject, and I'll continue any conversation even if it ends up in another forum. Here is what needs to be done with soccer, nothing. Actually, those scoring jokes are kind of old. When the U.S. is in the finals, then people that don't "get" soccer will be on the bandwagon. I get it, I played it, and I'll be one of those people on the bandwagon. Some will harp on a scoreless soccer game and then turnaround and absolutely tell-all concerning a scoreless baseball game. You may in fact witness a combined three hitter in a one run baseball game and rightfully think it was the greatest game you've seen. In soccer, its not too often you don't have some wicked shots on goals. The problem is, soccer hasn't figured out tv angles much like watching putting in golf. In both instances you have no concept of breaks or speed. If you want to feel pain, put your face in front of a kick heading into the goal (its especially nice when you can see your breath). You do see a lot of acting, but don't think you don't get "bumped" off camera. My point is, if the U.S. is playing for the world championship, you will see people slamming their fists on bars, screaming at tv sets, kicking chairs across the room, while watching a scoreless soccer game and getting it.
  8. mcdonut16

    mcdonut16 Rookie

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    Change rules to be those of Gaelic or Australian Rules Football, both superior forms of 'football' to soccer. The games still require excellent endurance and foot skills, but much more interesting games that allow contact, and using your hands.

    If you want to keep soccer as it is, boring, you need to get rid of the stupid offsides rules, where you have to be even with a defender. Scoring would increase and the game would be much more exciting. Also, outlawing all those ridiculous fake injuries and flopping delays the game and makes the players seem like little wussies.
  9. Flying Fungi

    Flying Fungi Rookie

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    already happened for the US women's team a few years back if I recall correctly.

    as someone who played for 20 years and still has a New England Tea Men pennant on the wall of my game room, I stopped caring about the opinions of non-soccer fans a long time ago. I like it. I like watching it and playing it. I have more scars on my body from soccer than anyone I know that played similar amounts of baseball, football or hockey. I have been on the sidelines of a WC match and can attest to having played in competitive leagues--it is a contact sport. There is more 'acting' in the NFL (WR's crying for interference, QB's, K's and P's screaming for roughing), the NBA, and even baseball (wtf is with a bench clearing brawl for getting HBP??).

    so to you non-soccer fans I say: whatevah...change the channel...
  10. JoeSixPat

    JoeSixPat Rookie

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    OK -I guess I'm a typical American and just don't understand this sport, but I'm at a bar the other night watching a 0-0 tie and finally just lost it, screaming at the players on the TV, "Just pickup the #$%@ing ball and run with it, you idiots!!"

    I think everyone there was very impressed with my suggestion because everyone was looking at me.

    Up next I'm thinking of improving the Kentucky Derby... instead of horses, really really fast cars!
  11. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Don't hate the playa, hate the game. And the game is... well you guys know.

    Okay, to follow up my wussish mea culpa, I'll add fence straddling, and note that Matt Damon, playing the Angel of Death (in the film Dogma,) said:

    "Genocide is the most exhausting activity you can engage in. Next to soccer."

    All that said, I still think it needs to be more violent. And actually baseball would be more fun if you could just plain tackle the baserunner, ball or no ball. Just my 2 cents,

    PFnV
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 30, 2005
  12. PATSNUTme

    PATSNUTme Paranoid Homer Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #75 Jersey

    First off I am not and was not "upset" that you posted an OT thread. The only way that I can see what the poster who said that is if someone "quotes' him, which happened.

    I was just getting ready for the humorless whining cry babies that serve as self appointed thread police to launch. But, they didn't, so please continue with the discussion because I don't have any problem with it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 30, 2005
  13. smg93

    smg93 Rookie

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    Let's see:

    No goalkeeper
    can touch ball with hands, torso, head
    can tackle

    Isn't this called football already?? At the very least it's called Rugby.

    Regarding Futbol. Change only one thing for me: If you can extend the penalty area with hash marks all the way to the sideline indicating that from this line all the way to the goal is a offside free area, in other words it'll almost be like the blue line in hockey, I think that would be much more fun.
  14. PatsFanInVa

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    No no, if I said you could touch the ball w/hands -- and I don't think I did -- I meant not to. Still can't pick up the ball, but can hit the guy any way you want. Just think of it as "pay-to-play" soccer or full contact soccer.

    Okay, it's not that serious a suggestion... but it's the worst part of the year. Even the off-season is dead.

    PFnV
  15. BradyisGod

    BradyisGod Rookie

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    There is nothing wrong with the sport and it does not need to be changed to suit the "ugly american".

    I don't like the sport, but when the rest of the world likes something that americans don't, it seems pretty arrogant that there is a feeling that it needs to be "fixed".

    And just to be clear, this isn't a knock on you PFnVA, it's more of a general commentary, especially if this was in USA Today.
  16. Pats/Hokies Fan

    Pats/Hokies Fan Rookie

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    I really enjoy watching soccer... however....

    Hell is watching a 2-0 soccer game.

    A 2 goal lead is the kiss of death in the world cup. At that point you might as well turn off the TV (or go home if you're @ a MLS game).

    Teams in the NFL can make crazy comebacks... see Frank Reich. The NHL & NBA & MLB have had their share... however, there's no such thing as a comeback in World Cup soccer. Down 2 goals = game over.

    Again.. I enjoy watching it, but the moment it become a 2 goal lead I'm done.
  17. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Okay, Brady, the 95% of the world that doesn't live in the U.S. is entitled to its opinion ;) Thanks for the leeway, but I do admit to being the Ugly American on the soccer front, at least - though I am mature enough to know there would be nothing more scarring to the American psyche than if Russians had come over in 1985 and taken all our pads in, say, early September. We'd have nuked the whole planet and sowed it with salt, no doubt.

    So, while I am biased enough to understand soccer to be a hellishly boring game with no real entertainment value, I am also mature enough to understand that other cultures are irremediably evil and will continue to inflict soccer on their children.

    Okay so you're sure I cannot get the C-in-C to force a sports regime change or something?

    PFnV
  18. Willie55

    Willie55 Rookie

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  19. PatsFanInEaglesLand

    PatsFanInEaglesLand Rookie

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    #37 Jersey

    The game clock is the most annoying thing about soccer, it moves forward and you don't know when the half or game ends. Damn just stop the clock when you need to.
  20. dryheat44

    dryheat44 Rookie

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    #75 Jersey

    There is one thing that prevents soccer from being an enjoyable viewing sport. It's when the player with the ball feels a hand on him and falls down writhing in pain like he was just shot with an elephant gun. Play stops, the trainers come out, he gets up and starts playing. Maybe he's carried off on a stretcher and goes to the sidelines until the next whistle.

    Start giving yellow cards for dives.

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