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OT: For the soccer Mom's and Dad's

Discussion in 'PatsFans.com - Patriots Fan Forum' started by sarge, Oct 14, 2006.

  1. sarge

    sarge Rookie

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    THis is a bit off topic, but I can't help it.

    I know this is probably very petty of me, but so be it.

    My daughter is 5 and plays soccer. Her team is very good. In fact, I highly doubted they would lose a game.

    A few weeks ago they faced a team that was loaded with big kids. One of the parents told me that the coach had been involved in the league for years and somehow always seemed to have a team of really big kids. Ironically the name of the team was the Giants.

    So we played this team to a very tight game. But they won 2-0. One thing that struck me about playing them was the fact that on things like throw in's and penalty kick's he refused to let our team get set or let us position our kids. He would run them out there as quick as possible and have them throw in or kick. Giving the other team time to set up is a common curtesy every other team but this one showed.

    Anyway, today was rematch day. And wouldn't you know half our team didn't show up. We had just enough kids to field a team. As the game progressed we had a few show up, but we were missing quite a few. And some of our better players as well.

    To make a long story short, we stomped them 5-0. And it could have been much worse! There coach did the same thing today with the throw ins and penalty kick's (well, he wasn't as bad with it when it was 3-0).

    It feels as good as a Pats win. And I can tell you the parents on the other team looked stunned.

    Sorry, just had to post this. I am in my glory right now. I'm sure most of you soccer mom and dad's understand.

    Is it petty of me to get this much joy out of it??? (not that I care, just curious) :)
  2. CrazyDave

    CrazyDave Rookie

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    Well, you're not the only one. My daughter is 5, and playing her first soccer season. My son is 9, and has played for a few years now. I love the games.
    I love watching my kids, and all the others as well. Relish in your victory.
    Those of you who are not parents yet, you're in for a treat.
    My son has a game in an hour, so we'll be heading out soon.
    He's got 5 or 6 goals in the last 3 games. He's really starting to "get it".
    At this point, I would'nt mind seeing him play soccer in HS.
    Oh, and the "community aspect" of the whole thing is pretty cool too.
  3. BelichickFan

    BelichickFan B.O. = Fugazi PatsFans.com Supporter

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    My 6 & 8 year olds play, I have fun watching and I don't care who wins. They have fun, get some exercise and are more concerned about a post game snack than who wins. Shame on the original coach you mentioned. They shouldn't care about winning at that age.
  4. TomBrady'sGoat

    TomBrady'sGoat Rookie

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    Your daughter is five. The fact that you care who wins is really sad. Referring to her team's victory with "we" is downright frightening.

    You should show up to watch and enjoy it equally reguardless how the game turns out. 5 year olds don't really know the difference between winning and losing, or attach much value to it. What they do understand is Mommy and Daddy's reactions, so if you're down when they lose and up when they win you make the connections (and potentially instill a fear/hatred of losing) for them.
  5. Warren94

    Warren94 Rookie

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    Great stories.


    It comes down to Karma.



    I don't know what to do this weeked with the bye
  6. len_mullen

    len_mullen Rookie

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    this is *way* off topic. you should find a forum for angry parents of athletic five year olds.
    I hope you haven't shared any of this with your daughter. No need to install such pettiness and cynicism in a five year old.
    Well, pettiness is not your domain, you know.
    Not me. I went to a HS football game last night. The home team won 19-0. I heard parents of the winning team say things like, "That's too bad," when the visitor fumbled and, "Nice play," after a completion. Remember the other side is kids too.
    Of course it is. What's the matter with you?
  7. belichickaholic

    belichickaholic Rookie

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    It is indeed awesome to watch your kids play sports. Especially when they score a goal or make a great play. But I can tell you from experience that when your more interested in the game than the kid is, the kid won't be interested very long.

    Just sit back and enjoy watching, try to be as supportive as you can and not critical, and as BF said, the kids are really more interested in the snack afterwards or which friend is coming over after the game.

    Be supportive and enjoy them because they grow in the blink of an eye. :)
  8. sarge

    sarge Rookie

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    Some people are just straight up hopeless!
  9. sarge

    sarge Rookie

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    Let me tell you something. When the other team beat us two weeks ago, "WE", the parents on the team that lost were cheering the kids on the other team when they scored. ANd when one of the little girls on the other team made a great save, I personally walked over to that little girl on the sideline and gave her a big pat on the back. They glory I felt had more to do with attitude of that coach then anything else, which was clearly something that flew way over your head!

    So stop making it something it wasn't. Any of my actions towards the kids on either team were no different from a win or loss. The fact that either of the two of you thought they were are assumptions on your part.
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2006
  10. len_mullen

    len_mullen Rookie

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    Ok. Let's add hypocrisy to your lists of faults.

    Get over yourself. Take your kid to a game and cheer for all the kids. When the game is over, take her out for ice cream or lunch. Talk about how much fun it was. If she make mistakes, help her improve -- without getting carried away.

    Mostly, though, stop gloating over your five year old's team beating another parent's five year old's team on a Patriots forum. OK?
  11. sarge

    sarge Rookie

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    Since I already do what you suggest below, let's add idiot to yours!

    Already do that!

    Aready do that. Ice cream, we eat lunch at home mostly.

    Check, already do that as well

    If she makes a mistake I tell her not to worry about it because it's a game!

    Ever heard of a straw man falacy?

    It's when you are unable to point out actual faults, so you make a list of faults that don't exist ( a straw man), and then you start beeting them up.

    All the while the person you are attempting to attack is guilty of none of the things you listed, and simply watches while you beat up this straw man you have created.

    Good job!
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2006
  12. len_mullen

    len_mullen Rookie

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    Did I mention this is a Patriots forum? All I did was affirm all the things you mentioned in your first post. You were right -- YOU'RE PETTY. I promise to stop bumping this if you will do the same...in fact, I promise to stop bumping this altogether. Hope your daughter does not read this thread.
  13. sarge

    sarge Rookie

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    Um, OK there genius, my five year old daughter surfs the web on message boards. Normally right after her morning coffee and cigarette. :rolleyes:



    That at least explains your overreaction and mischaracterization of my original post.
  14. JoeSixPat

    JoeSixPat Rookie

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  15. Patjew

    Patjew PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    What is strange to me is that you came to the board asking for opinions on your feelings ("Is it petty of me to get this much joy out of it??? (not that I care, just curious)"), but when you received feedback to your WAY off-topic post that did not affirm your feelings, you react with vitriol and name calling.

    What was your intention when you posted this? For everyone to agree with you and make you feel like a better person? When you put something like this out there, you should be prepared for conflicting responses.

    In other words: Grow up.
  16. sarge

    sarge Rookie

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    I was fully ready to hear a different opinion.

    What I was not ready for was fellow Pats fans to make untrue characterizations about me, or things I do.

    And I did no name calling, until the statement "Ok. Let's add hypocrisy to your lists of faults." So I was merely responding in kind.

    My original post was made to be in good nature.

    Looking back on it now, I would not have made it. But hind sight is 20/20.

    I had an enjoyable moment this morning.(-edit, (unfortunately I have to add this or others will mischaracterize otherwise) I enjoy it when they lose too, but this was special given the aggresive nature of the coach we were facing) I visit this board regularly, and while I don't know any of you personally, we have shared many other OT issues on this board. I wanted to share this with you guys.

    I certainly will not make that mistake again.
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2006
  17. borg

    borg Rookie

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    What you need to do is be honest with yourself. You only go to these games to check out the Moms on the other team :)
  18. Tunescribe

    Tunescribe PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Why did you post this here instead of in the general topics forum, where it belongs? Aside from that, anyone who gets a personal competitive charge out of a soccer match between five-year-olds -- enough to compare it to a Pats game (?!) -- needs their head examined. Seriously. No matter what the circumstances. "We stomped them 5-0" and "the parents of the other team looked stunned" ????????? Get a grip, man!
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2006
  19. Pats0204

    Pats0204 Rookie

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    "And I can tell you the parents on the other team looked stunned."


    Was this part of your excitement...............because of the aggressive nature of the coach and all? Just curious
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2006
  20. borg

    borg Rookie

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    Is there a full moon? People attacking people all over the place. A bye week brings out the **** all over the place
  21. IcyPatriot

    IcyPatriot ~~~Out of Order~~~ PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Well, I'm on my 2nd tour of fun & fright with youth soccer. Started out as a Soccer Dad ... did what many dad's & mom's do and signed up to coach in fall recreation soccer. Never played soccer, when i was young only the rich kids played soccer at the private elite schools in Rhode Island.

    Well....then I coached competitive soccer, got on the soccer board in the town. As my son got older I realized how much soccer sucked in our town when we had 2 or 3 kids showing up for practice of the competitive soccer team.

    So it was on to the Massachusetts Maple League...Fuller Hamlets...oh so enjoyable...real soccer...loved it. It was english soccer which I'm not to fond of but it was real soccer and every game was like a Tailgate At The Razor. Maple Games were on Sundays and we went as a family...always ate somewhere nice as a family and of course we tailgated with our extended soccer family.

    We went to tournaments in Mass, NH, Vt, Maine, NY, NJ, Virginia, and Maryland ... the family together always at the forefront of every soccer game and every extended soccer trip.

    Had alot...alot of fun. The winning was nice but it was always secondary to the fun and being together as a family. I also got involved in the Rhode Island ODP soccer and was the Head Coaches Assistant for 4 years...again we always made it a family thing. ODP on Wednesdays followed by supper somewhere.

    The moral of the story ... anyone involved in soccer or whatever ... make it a family event and the winning and losing just don't seem to matter anymore...the memories of most of the "trips" bring smiles to our faces.
  22. nhpatsfan

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    Ah, the bye week blues....
  23. IcyPatriot

    IcyPatriot ~~~Out of Order~~~ PatsFans.com Supporter

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    FAMILY , RAKING LEAFS & CHANNEL SURFING :rofl:

    DID I MISS ANYTHING? :bricks:
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2006
  24. Brady'sButtBoy

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    Having witnessed hundreds of hours of youth soccer I will assert that virtually no team of five year old kids is "good" or "great", nor are they "terrible" or "bad." The variation in attention level from minute to minute, let alone a game to game, is so great that it's basically impossible to tell which team is "better." They pretty much just want to chase the ball around and if somehow the ball goes in the net then it's time for everyone to jump around for a few seconds then wonder what that butterfly is doing over by the dandelions. If they remember two or three days later whether they won or lost is a miracle and usually only happens if the parents keep reminding them how the "won" the game.

    Sarge, you must have had mixed feelings to even ask the question here. Before you know it your not so little one will upset for days when they lose a big match, so all I'd say is don't rush it.
  25. JoeSixPat

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  26. gomezcat

    gomezcat It's SIR Moderator to you Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    I'm pretty surprised that any five year old kids are playing competitively. In fact, "pretty surprised" is an understatement- "fell of my chair in shock" covers it. At the age of five, I knew so little about soccer that I wanted my hometown team, Manchester United, to score own goals as I thought they would count for us. 29 years later, it could be argued that my soccer knowledge is about the same. :D
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2006
  27. Sunqueen212

    Sunqueen212 Rookie

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    I am glad you enjoyed your daughter's win. One thing though, I think that if you enjoyed it so much as to bring it up all the time, your kid will grow up thinking that winning is the only thing that Dad expects from her. And losing is not acceptable. This could add undue pressure on a young child. My 2 cents.
  28. sarge

    sarge Rookie

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    I certainly agree. And I posted it because I was aware it was petty and figured I would get a few laughs. I was not aware I would be characterized as someone I am not.

    I know I used the sentences "we stomped them" and "the other parents were stunned". I truly meant it in jest and to be funny as an over exageration of what was clearly just a fun friendly sporting match between children. In fact the "other parents looked stunned" remark came from the fact that one of the mom's of the other teams walked up to me and said speaking of her son's team "I didn't think we would lose a game". I thought it was obvious in the post. Reading back I can see it was not. I would never in my wildest dreams have thought that it would have been taken literally. Looking at it now and realizing all that was left up to interpretation, it probably wasn't the best choice of words. But I would never apologize for it because I know how I meant it.

    Anyone who truly sits there and believes that I am the type of person that puts any pressure on my child to win in sports does not have the slightest clue about me.

    And I probably should not be as offended as I am because I don't know any of you. But I really do enjoy posting about football here. I live in NC and I don't have any Pats fans to talk football with, so I do it here. But I can see I brought this on my self, and have no one to blame but myself. I really did not believe all of you would take this so seriously when it was never meant that way. I understand that you are totally unfamilier with the context, and as such have supplied your own. Maybe I would have done the same. I certainly have fought back and not done it in the classiest of ways, but I think if you look closely you will see those remarks were made in response to personal insult was made against me. Certainly by know means an excuse.

    Maybe you have seen parents who put unfair presure on there kids to win. I AM NOT THAT GUY!

    I am very much against a parenting style that presures kids in sports.

    If there is any presure in this world I put on my daughter, it is that she do her best. And I can tell you sports fall last in the list of catogories where my concerns lie. The entire reason we encourage our child to participate in sports is for the social interaction, and the health benifits to remaining physically fit, as well as learning to work as a team. My wife and I also enjoy the social interaction with the other parents on out team, and the oposing teams.

    I enjoyed it because it was against a very competitive coach who's actions on the field seemed very agressive and competitive. And to be honest, I have a competitive bone or two in my body as well. At times it may be a detriment to me, but it has also helped me to be moderately succesfull in life and in my career.

    But I can tell you this. Not a single kid on either team yesterday probably had a clue what the score was. And that includes my child

    So as far as this being competitive league for 5 year olds, it's not. There are no playoffs, no chamionships. And if I'm not mistaken, everyone gets the same trophy.

    So anyone who has come up with these notions of this being some competitive league for 5 years olds, it's not. It is the same as any other sports league for 5 year olds.

    As far as bringing it up, I brought it up here. My daughter was unaware this game was any different then any other game. And aside from me getting some extra enjoyment out of seeing who I felt was an uber competitve coach judging by his actions on the field losing probably the only game he has in the past three ofr for years, it wasn't any different.

    And as far as only enjoying wins, that is also not true. We enjoyed it when her team lost as well. And to be honest, I'm not even sure we have ever discussed the fact that they have won or lost.

    Anyway, I am done defending myself. If you have made up your mind about me, there is little I can do to change it.

    In hindsight I regret the post. I do enjoy posting football here and rarely ever post anything off topic.

    I hope I can continue to post here. But if I see it become a problem, I will certainly leave.
  29. gomezcat

    gomezcat It's SIR Moderator to you Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Nice response, sarge. It's worth remembering how easy it is for people to get the wrong end of the stick when you post. I post stuff a lot that gets a reaction that really surprises me and I have to clarify what I wrote, especially when I try to be humorous. That's the way it is. No one wants you to leave.
  30. Patjew

    Patjew PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    The things about emails and posts, often times the meaning of messages is lost because there's no tone of voice or body language to clarify the intention. You really have to be careful if you don't want to be misunderstood.

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