(Onion) Everyone at hospital already hates Wes Welker

[Pujo]

Everyone At Hospital Already Hates Wes Welker

Everyone At Hospital Already Hates Wes Welker | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

 

[JSn]

Re: Everyone At Hospital Already Hates Wes Welker

Super-classic!

Patriots coach Bill Belichick has yet to make a trip to the Boston hospital, but said Monday that Welker had already left him more than 150 voice mail messages that alternated between tearful apologies for getting injured and personal pleas for Belichick not to forget about him while he's away.

"Apparently he read an article where I said that the team would evolve without him," Patriots quarterback Tom Brady told reporters after visiting Welker. "I had to assure Wes that didn't mean I thought the team was better off without him or that I didn't like him personally."

"I don't, though," Brady said. "Not hard to see why not. [Sheesh], if that mouthy little [feller] didn't manage to get open so often I think I would have punched him in the face years ago."

 

[aluminum seats]

Re: Everyone At Hospital Already Hates Wes Welker

You gotta love the Onion.....

 

[ctpatsfan77]

Re: Everyone At Hospital Already Hates Wes Welker



I hope this puts a smile on Welker's face.

 

[Bella*chick]

Re: Everyone At Hospital Already Hates Wes Welker

That is awesome. Sheer hilarity!:singing:

 

[Sicilian]

Re: Everyone At Hospital Already Hates Wes Welker

Haha, awesome! My favorite:

"The short man kept telling me to keep fighting and not to give up," said Jackie Geddings, 8, a leukemia patient in the hospital's pediatric ward. "I got extra tired talking to him and telling him over and over I was working hard and that he didn't have to cut off his hair and give it to me. I don't think he knew I was trying to take a nap."

 

[SoCal Pmen]

Re: Everyone At Hospital Already Hates Wes Welker

Do you think he reads these message boards?

 

[JSn]

Re: Everyone At Hospital Already Hates Wes Welker

Do you think he reads these message boards?

He certainly has the time, now.

 

[patsfanofNC12]

Re: Everyone At Hospital Already Hates Wes Welker

That was funny. It fits Welker perfectly to

 

[Pujo]

Re: Everyone At Hospital Already Hates Wes Welker

Do you think he reads these message boards?

I don't know, but I'm sure he'll hear about this Onion article from his friends.

 

[Patspsycho]

Re: Everyone At Hospital Already Hates Wes Welker

Just epic. That writer knows how Welker thinks and feels.

 

[Holy Diver]

BOSTON—Though injured New England Patriots wide receiver Wes Welker has only been in the hospital for five days, doctors, nurses, support staff, and fellow patients told reporters Thursday that the extremely passionate and determined Welker has already annoyed the hell out of everyone.

"That guy is just the worst," Welker's orthopedic surgeon Dr. Henry Myles said after a diagnostic checkup Tuesday. "He suffers a torn MCL and ACL in his left knee, he can barely walk, and he just keeps saying things like, 'When am I going to get back in there, doc?' and 'Just tape it up, I'll be fine.' This whole obsession with showing us how intense and driven he is 24 hours a day really has to stop."


Everyone At Hospital Already Hates Wes Welker | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

 

[Boots Electric]

Re: Everyone At Hospital Already Hates Wes Welker

ZING!

Good stuff.

 

[Gwedd]

Now that's wicked good stuff. You know you've made it when the Onion parodies you.

 

[Pujo]

It was funnier when I posted it

 

[JSn]

Where'd the original thread go?

 

[DarrylS]

Good find.. did not know Onion had a sports page...

 

[rabthepat]

That is comedy GOLD...........

 

[Sivy]

"I consider myself a very patient person," hospital janitor Mike Clemens said. "But Mr.. Welker has pushed me to my limit. He told me that my mopping routes were sloppy, and that if I maybe showed a little more heart out there I could get a few more crucial feet out of each swab."

Thats the best part.

 

[N.Eman]

Thats 1 step in the right direction. Next thing he'll be telling patients next to him after hearing bad news "it is what it is" "you have no control over that"!!! Classic!!!